to think that when my partner, who has managed 4 "write off" crashes in two years, comes home and says "Dear God - I almost killed myself on the way home!"

[Catnao]

...it's not unreasonable that I am nervy when getting in the car with him, and don't allow him to take our son out with him by himself? (I can't drive, by the way).

But were all the crashes his fault? My DH had 3 write offs in about two years and he was just in the wrong place at the time.. for example, sitting at a t-junction not even moving when a lorry cut the corner and took the front 4 foot off his car

How many miles a year does he drive OP? If it is a lot (like my DH) then statistically he may be only having the same number of accidents per 1,000 miles as the next person.

I think you need to learn to drive yourself though, if he makes you that nervous.

secretnutella -it is more common for licence to be lost than life, though possibly the OP needs to stress that in an accident state he would be more likely to live and never walk again - that possibly would efect him more than his own mortality.

I wonder the age of this person driving though?

OMG, I'd be terrified. My DP drives like a twat sometimes too. Soooo annoying. I drive and have done for much longer than him and I am constantly pulling him up for gambling at junctions/lights etc. And that's when I'm in the car [bhmm]

Yanbu

That is the reason neither me or dp drive

My dh had two write-offs in about a year. But one of them was in no way his fault - there was no-one in the car at the time, someone else drove into it when it was parked outside our house! But I do think dh sometimes drives when distracted (e.g. changing CDs/putting info in SatNav etc). Ds is really hot on this sort of stuff, having watched lots of Traffic Cops etc on tv, but dh won't listen and still sometimes does these things.

I did learn to drive myself years ago but was rubbish at it - and so decided I wouldn't inflict my bad driving on the general public. Sometimes people are critical of me for not driving, but I really think it's one thing in life that you can't afford to do badly, as you may end up killing/seriously injuring someone.

With that amount of crashes someone in authority should be asking questions. Driving is a responsibility not a right. There are far too many stupid drivers out there causing accidents and deaths. There is no way I would allow someone like that to drive with my DS in the car. When you tell him that, you might also remind him that every time he drives he risks crashing with a car carrying someone else's DS. I pray God he doesn't live near me.

Hate hate hate people that drive like lunatics, I think people don't realise they are wazzing about with a TON of steel at their disposal. As someone who has lost immediate family in a crash caused by a reckless driver (the other car) I can't begin to tell you the anger, bitterness and grief he will cause someone one day if hedoesnt stop it.prick

Perhaps driving exams should include an IQ test?

A motor car doesn't come with a government health warning - but it should motor drivers can kill

And that is the point. In the vast majority of cases it is drivers that kill. Not cars, not roads, dangerous drivers.

Wow. Four write-offs in two years really beggars belief. YANBU. I'm sorry, but he doesn't sound very responsible. DH would be mortified if I told him I didn't trust him to drive the DCs around. He should WANT to do something about this. I would sign him up for remedial lessons and/or learn to drive yourself! Is there a reason you can't? It really needn't cost that much: do you have a parent/sibling/friend who would take you out a few times? My dad taught me the basics, then I had about ten lessons (all I could afford)plus practice before taking my test. This was back in the day though!

Thinking about it, I think I would be taking away his driving licence myself. I wonder what would happen if you sent it back to the DVLA?

Somebody who was a couple of years ahead of me at school died as a result of having an accident while trying to change a cd in his car - he was maybe 20-21 at the time. Luckily nobody else was hurt or involved and he didn't have any passengers

Changing cd and getting distracting can be an incredibly dangerous thing if you are the one that gets distracted just as something happens on the road that you weren't expecting.

Would definitely not be trusting his driving if he has such a casual attitude to road safety and seems to place so little value on his - and maybe worse - anybody else's life - by being so cavalier about the need to be considerate and safe!

I don't think I could live with such a selfish prick tbh, never mind get in a car with him.

It's all very well for you to be concerned about your own son - what about other people's babies/children/wives/husbands who could be innocent victims of your arsehole of a partner? They are just as important.

I'm sorry, but I don't get the posters that believe they are not suited to driving - of course you would be if you had to!

You probably live in areas with ample public transport so driving is not a necessity - I didn't drive when I lived in London.

But when I moved to Ireland and lived out in the sticks, I had no choice but to learn to drive - there was NO public transport and relying on others to drive me places was totally inconvenient.

I am the most nervous person around, but I successfully learned to drive, I might not be confident driving in cities but I do it because I have to. The invention of SatNav makes it a whole lot easier.

If I didn't drive, I wouldn't be able to work or do the shopping.

OP, I wouldn't travel with your DH! But I would take driving lessons if you have no public transport.

what where the cars worth?

if we're talking bangers - you can write them off quite easily because the value of the car impacts whether it's worth fixing dents

What sort of accidents have they been?

Tabul - Yes, but they're still crashes.

It's hard to write off even a banger by bumping the car behind while parallel parking.

An I believe you can do significant damage to a pedestrian without incurring a significant bodywork bill.

tabul...a banger can still kill someone

I think you missed the point of this thread...

Well, let's hope when he does kill it's alone, wrapped around a tree. Or off a cliff.
I hate the fact that I could be wiped out by some idiot like him. Or worse still, my DD could be written off by your selfish arrogant pig of a partner.
My DS will be learning next year...
I hope your OH is no longer on the roads by then. For whatever reason.

I didn't miss the point of it at all - it is entirely possible to write off a £500 car by reversing into a parking bollard...

so whether it's unreasonable or not depends on how he's destroyed the cars - it's no different to all the people asking if they were all his fault tbh

lady007pink you may not believe that some of us don't think we are suited to driving, but really I think it's far better that I don't drive, because I honestly think I'm not safe. I think it's much better to realis your limitations than to kid yourself you can drive when you may end up killing someone.

It's not as if I haven't tried. I spent well over 2 years having regular lessons, and still had no more confidence than I had when I started. I have no concept of distances (probably because I have a squint, and rely on using only one eye most of the time, so no binocular vision). Also when I did drive, got lost practically every time I went out, even trips I'd done several times before. And the one thing I couldn't do was keep flicking between looking at the close up stuff (including speedometer and other instruments in the car) and the distance. Ok when I learned to drive there were no SatNavs, but if I had to divide my attention between the distance, the other close up stuff and a SatNav I couldn't do it. Seriously it takes me several seconds to change my focus between something close and something far away. I don't think it's safe for me to drive.

How does he afford to keep replacing he cars and then the insurance? If you are anywhere near SW London do you think you could send me a message whenever he's about to go out please.

Or let me know if he's going anywhere near Wiltshire and I'll give a friend a call. He has a tank. Problem solved.

I think the salient word in the OP is crashes. Not 'managed to write off 4 cars in silly parking incidents', not 'been hit when it was entirely not his fault'. But crashed. Suggesting he was a) travelling at speed and b) he was to blame.