to think that when my partner, who has managed 4 "write off" crashes in two years, comes home and says "Dear God - I almost killed myself on the way home!"

[Catnao]

...it's not unreasonable that I am nervy when getting in the car with him, and don't allow him to take our son out with him by himself? (I can't drive, by the way).

nope - if I wrote off a car while parking, I'd call it a crash, what else are you going to call it?

doesn't really matter, I just wondered how serious they were...

If you don't think he's a safe enough driver it doesn't really matter whether he's crashed or not, some people manage to just not quite kill themselves for years, if you think he's unsafe then no you're not being unreasonable

Sorry to come back late to thread - yes, they were write offs because the cars were £500 bangers - not serious accidents - BUT they have caused massively high insurance premiums, plus the cost of replacing said bangers, and I think it shows a lack of attention which could cause a more serious accident.
I cannot drive for no good reason except cost and nerves!

I do not think he drives carefully enough, and OF COURSE I am thinking of other drivers when I worry about him on the roads.

He has only been driving 2 and a half years as we always lived in London/Oxford before we went rural, but he now drives circa 60 miles round trip to get to work, and drives us around at weekends. So I am nervous.

he has only been driving two and a half years and he has crashed four times?

Yes - guess crashes is the emotive word - i suppose you could call them "small prangs" - they wrote of our cars, but not the crashees...I still think it's worrying though - and the CD thing REALLY bugs me. I can't drive partly because I am so nervous, but I do think he needs to be much more careful (he has never driven drunk, by the way - the crashes have all been run into the back of at lights etc)

not that that's an excuse! It could've been a kid, not a car!!

if he is running into the back of people he isn't paying attention. has he got points on his license? i will be amazed if he doesnt tbh.

3 points, yes...

To be fair, one of the crashes/bumps wasn't his fault. Just one, mind.

Then he is going too fast and not reading the road. I have been driving 28 years and never written off a car (and I drive nearly every day)

and he still hasn't bucked up his ideas after 4 crashes and 3 points on his license? i couldn't respect someone like that who had so little respect for others' lives. what are you going to do long term if he doesn't change hsi ways? will you just refuse to let your son ever travel with him?

Jesus tapdancing Christ! This is the kind of person I'm terrified of on the road.. what kind of arsehole driver IS he?? 4 right-offs in 2 years?

I had one accident within a year of passing my test, and that was because someone drove into ME. I haven't had an accident in 15 years! He must be a fucking terrible driver.. what the hell is his insurance like?

Definitely suggest (and pay for if necessary) the advanced driving course!

am

I expect so, yes.

These were minor crashes btw - he was not driving at speed and no car would have been written off otherwise..still, I am worried about safety..

London Oxford? Lawks... where do you live now, so I can be aware, like

NOT an excuse at all - Just trying to present facts as "write off" can sound worse than a prang.

He sounds like a twat..

He does not sound as bad as all the posts suggest. Insurance companies write off small value cars (

yes, I expect he does. These were all small prangs. Bad driver, I can accept - bad person/partner - really? I should leave the father of my children? because of three minor crashes that were his fault? The worst damage was a bumper on a Mercedes. Still sticking with the idiot father of my children!

did someone say you should leave him?

You don't think that the prat's own assessment of
"Dear God - I almost killed myself on the way home!"
is a clear enough self analysis of his competence on the road?

'did someone say you should leave him?'

Not me, I wanted him wrapped around a big, solid oak tree that wouldn't be too harmed by the experience. Rather than him crashing into my daughter whilst he's pissing around with his music selections. Arsehole.

Yes, you should definitely leave him

but is he a good dad? cause that is a guaranteed get out of jail free card.

I think you and your child should go everywhere you can with him, so you can come to understand some of my fears.
Not safe enough for your precious baby to be trusted in his car, but OK to unleash his wankery on mine?

catnao...nobody said you should leave him

but you are doing some serious backpedalling here

very florid language in your title and OP

and now you are getting very defensive on his behalf and it's just "small prangs"

what is really happening here ?

your partner is a stupid twat or you unfairly misrepresented him at the very beginning ?