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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have sent a huffy text message

68 replies

Asteria · 21/01/2011 23:21

to my friend....
I looked after her sweet but very smelly dog all week and offered her supper tonight to save her cooking after driving 250 miles, which she accepted. She then tipped up early to collect the dog, which was fine, and said that she was too tired to do supper tonight - also fine, althogh she seems to be doing this a lot recently...

I then see her FB update that she has had a lovely supper with someone else and is just heading home - so clearly not that tired after all. I sent her a nice but very clear text that I was "a bit miffed" she had gone for supper elsewhere after pleading exhaustion....

I'm not being unreasonable am I????

OP posts:
Ladyofthehousespeaking · 21/01/2011 23:23

What a bitch! What did you say?

browneyesblue · 21/01/2011 23:25

YANBU - how rude of her!

Original poster
Asteria · 21/01/2011 23:26

"bit miffed that you said you were too tired to have super with me - but fine to have supper with other people. You could have just been honest and said you had a better offer"

OP posts:
MrsLevinson · 21/01/2011 23:27

YANBU! Ungrateful cow!

Hk13 · 21/01/2011 23:27

YANBU. cheeky cow! Shock

HecateQueenOfWitches · 21/01/2011 23:28

no, I'd have done the same.

I assume you won't be looking after the smelly dog again.

OnlyMeUK · 21/01/2011 23:28

YANBU - I think I would have worded my text a little more strongly!

HecateQueenOfWitches · 21/01/2011 23:28

oh, and has she replied?

bubblewrapped · 21/01/2011 23:28

I wouldnt be too happy with that either. Cheeky mare!

Vallhala · 21/01/2011 23:29

What an ignorant cow! No wonder you sent her a stroppy text, I hope that she feels suitably embarrassed now. YAdamnwellNBU.

Original poster
Asteria · 21/01/2011 23:31

Blush Blush Blush she has just left a really long message on my answerphone saying that she is really sorry and that she had just popped in to collect some Martha Stewart magazines but got coaxed into having supper with them... Still cross, but kinda understand...

OP posts:
deardot · 21/01/2011 23:37

that is a crap excuse. Don't feel bad, you did the right thing

Fimbo · 21/01/2011 23:40

Well I guess it could have kind of happened like that but if she had seen sense she wouldn't have plastered it over FB. .

MadamDeathstare · 21/01/2011 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bubblewrapped · 21/01/2011 23:43

I agree with Fimbo... she seems very tactless and self centred.

Original poster
Asteria · 21/01/2011 23:48

Urgh - it's bloody hard - I do get a bit paranoid about it all - we are both single (and she has had a rough ride getting to this point - but then again so have I) in a very coupled up cliquey area. I actually sat in her sitting room a few weeks ago and cried because I am so lonely and find it really hard to get into a group outside of the school tea network - whereas she is out 5 nights a week. I asked if she wouldn't mind dragging me along to something once in a while, but everything is "too complicated" - like the Hunt Balls she is going to that "can't really fit another single girl on the table"...

OP posts:
ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 21/01/2011 23:55

Your text was fine. I like people who say how they feel and don't just sulk quietly.

I can see how it happened, but I cannot see why she would put that on Facebook knowing you would see it without having texted you first. Not that she needs your permission, but in her position I would have sent you a text to say something like 'After saying I was too tired to have supper with you x&y wouldn't let me leave without having supper :( ended up getting home much later than I wanted to!'

(Well I wouldn't because this is the kind of thing that Facebook causes - it's the work of the devil!)

How long have you known her? Is she normally supportive or is she a bit of a 'user' ?

CameronCook · 22/01/2011 00:00

YANBU - that is quite hurtful of her

Original poster
Asteria · 22/01/2011 00:02

We have been friends for a few years (about 5?) and I have helped her move house when she left her husband - piled up stacks of dvd's and takeaway when she had a massive operation and the other day when she was stuck on top of a moor with a bunch of old codgers and a steaming hangover, I tipped up with a jam jar of whisky mac and gallons of Dr Pepper to rescue her... In that time I have had 2 nervous breakdowns and 2 horrible breakups and I'm just racking my brains to work out where she was for me....

OP posts:
crisptart · 22/01/2011 00:03

YANBU, I think that's really mean.

bubblewrapped · 22/01/2011 00:04

oooerr... sorry to say this, but she does sound like a user...

you have been mugged off as the dog minder... next time she asks, tell her to bugger off...

crisptart · 22/01/2011 00:06

blush blush blush she has just left a really long message on my answerphone saying that she is really sorry and that she had just popped in to collect some Martha Stewart magazines but got coaxed into having supper with them... Still cross, but kinda understand...

Ah right just seen this, understand a bit more. However if it's this case why the bloody eck would you plaster it all over facebook?! Do some people seriously have no commons sense?!

backwardpossom · 22/01/2011 00:09

Think you need to 'dump' your friend. She sounds very selfish and I'm sure you don't need her in your life.

Blackeyeddog · 22/01/2011 00:09

She is obviously vrey self centered, and you sound lovely. Absolutely YANBU.

backwardpossom · 22/01/2011 00:09

Think you need to 'dump' your friend. She sounds very selfish and I'm sure you don't need her in your life.