to wonder what the fuss is regarding Private Schools?

[peppapigandhumf]

A friend has 2 kids at a local prep school. She doesnt really bang on about the school to me etc but i wonder why bother pay for education when schooling is free.

Is it really just about small class sizes and fancy expensive uniforms?

My mum used to bang on endlessly about the sacriofices they made to send me to private school. It scared me on some level so fgs don't show your martyrdom to your kids. they won't apprechiate it.

Sorry typos.

In some ways I feel that private school was wasted on me. It didn't stop me from making stupid decisions in life, I didn't make any amazing contacts and I rebelled. I regret not making more of it but was ostracised anyway as I wasn't rich enough. I am a bit bitter but I do also apprechiate it and understand why my parents made that decision.

It has given me an edge in someways but not in others. EG; I have a posh accent and people look impressed when I said I went to the posh school down the road. they then assume I'm a jumped up snob.

Ok there are scholarships for the poor students but then it becomes a bubble of priveledge and high achievers with not much room for the poor and ordinary liek me.

I do think private school also breeds a superior attitude - I know I certainly had one until well into my 20's. And a lot of my friends still have one. It is a real hindrance in life - closing you off to a lot of the world.

That is the major downside of private school for me. People always deny they have it too because it becomes so entrenched. And believed.

I was privately educated. The good thing is, the people your child will be around...they'll all be from the same background (MC mainly-aside from scholarship kids) and those that misbehave don't have to go there...however in a state school, naughty kids are tolerated, or shifted to the next state school as they have to be there.

Aside from this, there are things like subject choices (I don't know many state schools who teach Latin and a choice of 5 modern languages) extra curriculum activities, D of E was compulsory for us, as was CCF (combined cadet force) and yes, more field trips, expanding kiddies' minds to a world of cultural experiences...and then there's the results, the importance of tradition, respect for teachers, and the door being held open a tad longer for university applications (despite what they protest in the media).

The reason why people get worked up about how other people spend their money when it comes to school is becasue it really matters. At the end of the day, if the neighbours drive their kids in a range Rover and take them to Tuscany, it doesn't actually harm my kids or put them at a disadvantage. It might make them grumble a bit. But if the neighbours kids go to a good private school, they may acquire contacts, that confidence and polish and sense of self worth that private school seems to endow. That does give them an advantage over my kids later in life and that is why many people get worked up over how others spend their money. My children will go to a good state sec and will be fine, but if i had the spare cash I might consider private for reasons above and beyond academic qualifications.

In education the difference between State and private is very public, eg uniforms, results tables.
However, just think about private medicine as opposed to NHS. People have private treatment and don't get singled out for ridicule do they? Also the outcome of their treatment is not published for all to see. No-one knows if you spend thousands on a private boob job, new knee or whatever, but if you send your children to a private school your neighbours instantly know about it and judge you accordingly.

You're only judged if they can't afford to send their kids there.

It's all down to envy.

How wise you are LadyofTheManor. Spot on!

LadyoftheManor You are spot on. It's a bit like saying "I can't afford a Rolls Royce so you mustn't have one."
People who knock private schools don't complain when a privately-educated surgeon in the NHS is taking out their appendix or saving their lives in some other way, do they? They forget conveniently that the surgeon's mother and father might have gone without all sorts of luxuries to put him where he is. Our NHS reaps the benefit of other people's sacrifices and this will be even more so with tuition fees going up.

It's not envy. It's anger at elitism. It's the old boys network, it's the fact that it blocks downward mobility thus leaving power, influence and wealth in the hands of those that can afford it.

In other European countries people send their children to the local school without a second thought - German friends laugh at the idea that you would pay.

In the end I don't resent my friends' decision to go private but I wish they would stop harping on about how bad the state schools are in our area, simply to justify their decision.

Normantebbit "It blocks downward mobility"
What do we want downward mobility for? So that we can all sink to the bottom? The whole point of education is to raise people up, not bring others down.

LOL Crosswordaddict Well said.

Downward mobility - to have social mobility it is understood that some will have to inevitably move down so others move up. At the moment power and influence are concentrated in the hands of people who will not move down due to class and networks. We have the least social mobility of any European country.

Anyway off to watch the golden globes

I think a lot of people feel they have to justify sending their children to private school (by saying the local state schools are bad) because they feel some people will judge them for it.

NormanTebbitt If you're waiting for people to "move down" volountarily I fear you'll have a long wait. Enjoy your TV programme

As someone said earlier on the thread, I think it would be worth forking out for somewhere like Winchester College (spare £30K per annum, anyone?) but I certainly wouldn't pay out for the local independent school. In fact I know that they are offering places willy nilly at the moment in spite of supposedly being selective.

I wouldn't criticise someone who lived in, perhaps, London feeling there was no option but to go for a private school, but round here you really would be wasting your money. Ds goes to a comprehensive school. He and his band of friends are the archetypal geeks. In fact the swotty kids actually greatly outnumber the, er, footbally (ds's term) ones.

Oh, and I'd like to roast in front of the fire/toss in blanket (thinks of suitably posh punishments) the poster who reeled off a list of requirements for her dcs, which included such things as small class sizes, nurturing environment, excellent teachers...

Yeah, all those who didn't "choose" private schools sat down and compiled a list of must-haves: large class sizes, incompetent teachers, no extra-curricular activities...

gramercy just because you've struck lucky with your local state school there's no need to be smug.
Large numbers of parents in this country have to face the fact that the un-geeky (to coin a word)pupils are in the majority in their school and therefore rule the classroom. God help any child who tries to study in that environment! We'll just have to agree to differ, I'm afraid.
Off the watch "Lark Rise" for a bit of escapism.

So many reasons for going private. Smaller classes, better facilities, more focus on sport, higher standard of education coupled with higher chances of good grades.

Mine had 6 lacrosse pitches, a swimming pool, classes of 14ish, amazing science labs, the food was unbelievably good, I did 5 a levels, never had the risk of fights/knives etc, the choice to study latin, politics etc.... and there was not a single physical fight the entire time I was there.

I'm not smug. I was trying to make the point that not all state schools are hell holes. Okay, some are and if I that were my only option I'd either sell myself on the street corner (er, that would probably raise only 50p a time) or home educate.

And I was particularly about this never-ending crap people spout that they choose to send their dcs to private schools because they care .

Ladyblablah - a friend went to state school, then her younger sister did and was badly bullied. Her parents moved her to a private school, and my friend commented that her sister had much more confidence than she did, because at her sister's school they were expected to achieve, while at her own school they were told they'd never amount to much.

Norman, the only way the elitists can climb the social ladder is by clambering on those who are not fast enough to get out of the way.

I like to think that my private education and degree give me more opportunity to choose what I do with my life and my money.

Had I have dropped out of a state school at 16, I may not have had the same opportunity or network of people to lean on.

I don't feel bad that my son will be privately educated, nor will I feel bad when he's paying a fortune in tax to cover "benefits" to the likes of people who "moaned" about better off kiddies getting that opportunity.