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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am being precious. But I still wanna go "'urgh you are disgusting"

100 replies

Pancakeflipper · 20/01/2011 12:06

I am being precious.

I work 3 days a week. I sit next to a colleague. It is very obvious whose desk is whose.

They insist on chucking their banana skins ( I hate bananas even with my kids I am cringing cutting up a banana and handling the skins), apple cores, sweet wrappings ( don't mind that easy to pick up) and used teaspoons they used for their yoghurts. With all the lick marks on.

And I want scream " stop chucking it on my desk you gross person. "

But I think I am being precious. So I remove the debris myself shuddering.

Every Monday there are stains on my desk which I have to clean cos' my imagination will go into overdrive on what it is.

I put a in-tray between us last week. It was gone this Monday. He said "there was no room for me coffee, hope you don't mind". Our desks are massive and he has no clutter on his.

I don't want to fall out with him. But how do I get over myself? I need to loosen up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pancakeflipper · 20/01/2011 12:07

P.S the in tray was on my side of the desk - not his but he likes to put his coffee cup on my desk.

OP posts:
MinnieBar · 20/01/2011 12:08

Build a wall with office stationery supplies like in The Office? Grin

It is disgusting. And actually I don't think you are being precious.

Where is the bin in relation to his desk?

wheresmejumper · 20/01/2011 12:10

Actually YANBU I would be freaking out and banana skin would be thrown at colleague each time they did it!

MorticiaAddams · 20/01/2011 12:11

That really is disgusting.

I used to work with somebody who's files overspilled on to my desk and I used to push them back and tell her I didn't want her mess on my desk.

You to just tell him straight.

SarahStrattonsBaubles · 20/01/2011 12:11

Superglue? For the in tray I mean. Or sit there and shove the bin in his face whenever he pulls it out of his trough.

Urggh YADNBU.

DuplicitousBitch · 20/01/2011 12:11

put the tray back adn say its my desk, point to bin and tell him to throw his debris in there. be assertive

giyadas · 20/01/2011 12:13

YANBU, he sounds very disrespectful of you. Tell him to keep his crap to himself, you're not being precious at all.

squeaver · 20/01/2011 12:14

Your are bot being precious. Does he not have a bin?

GrimmaTheNome · 20/01/2011 12:15

He said "there was no room for me coffee, hope you don't mind".

so did you say, 'actually, I'd prefer you kept your food and drink on your own desk'?

If not, why not?

Tell him! Or put all his stuff back on his own desk.

squeaver · 20/01/2011 12:16

Can you move desk?

BlingLoving · 20/01/2011 12:16

What? If the person whose desk is next to mine let's so much as a piece of paper cross over we have words! Jokingly, but it's serious. Office environments are unnaturally close and if you don't have some boundaries, it gets messy. Next time, say, politely and with a smile, "Hey, that's YOUR banana skin take it and throw it away". Repeat as necessary. Worst case, pick it up with the tips of your fingers and toss it back onto his desk.

LadyThumb · 20/01/2011 12:18

Save all his crap for 2 weeks, then put it all on his desk one night after he has left!

emsyj · 20/01/2011 12:18

I would put it all back on his desk and say, 'you left some stuff on my desk, did you mean to?' you are not being precious, he needs telling.

DuplicitousBitch · 20/01/2011 12:19

tell him not to. if he continues bring it up with your line manager.

kittybuttoon · 20/01/2011 12:21

Be assertive (not unfriendly or aggressive, just assertive).

'Please don't litter my desk with your stuff, Bob - I need to keep my work area clean and tidy'

Polite, truthful - and inarguable.

(Remember that you are not there a lot of the time, and this guy has probably subconsciously assumed territorial rights over this corner of 'your' property in your absence- he's almost certainly not doing this to annoy you!)

Don't be tempted to play daft games like building barriers - just tell him. Your relationship will improve as a result, and you'll feel better and more confident.

MayorNaze · 20/01/2011 12:21

move the bin so it is between you. every time crap appears, sweep into bin. repeat with a sigh until he catches on. if the bin moves - fetch it back.

anonacfr · 20/01/2011 12:21

YAsoNBU. You're not precious either.

They dump food waste on the desk? That would be gross even if they did it on their own desk. What's wrong with using a bin?????

The in-tray thing is a pain but I guess if you're your desks are that big can't you just leave it on yours?

giyadas · 20/01/2011 12:22

This is one of those threads where I want to see immediate results.
Go and slap him round the face with his old banana skin, then report back asap. Grin

anonacfr · 20/01/2011 12:24

Just caught up with the other post.
Why the hell is he using your desk as his coffee/food tray?

It's rude, disgusting and unhygienic. Tell him if you leave something on your desk, that's where it stays. If he has no room for his coffee or food tough shit.

I would bring it up with a manager- food debris on anyone's desk is unhygienic. It doesn't reflect well on the office either.

Sarsaparilllla · 20/01/2011 12:26

Not precious at all, that's disgusting! Does he have a bin?

Next time it happens, just say to him, please can this rubbish just go into the bin rather than on my desk?

Original poster
Pancakeflipper · 20/01/2011 12:30

Oh my goodness... Either there are lots of fellow precious people or I not being unreasonable.... Cor...

grimma - when he said about the coffee cup I said ( oh just punch me now Grimma) " oh sorry."

I need to grow some don't I?

Giyadas - snorts with fun... Oh that would be a treat. I can just see myself explaining that to HR.. Ha ha

OP posts:
floridalover · 20/01/2011 12:31

I would say to him in a smiley way "please do not leave your litter, cups etc on my desk it really bothers me".

If it happens again: I think that you havent taken me seriously. I feel really annoyed that you continue to litter my desk. I need you to stop doing it.

If this doesn't work consult line manager

Lonnie · 20/01/2011 12:31

that is a so loud YANBU it is crazy But why dont you leave your debri lunch on his desk if he says anything then look at him innocently and say

Oh Im sorry I figured when you felt it was fine to use my desk for rubbish i could do the same to yours..

put the in tray back on and tell him find a space for your cup on your desk

bobbityboo · 20/01/2011 12:32

Think he is taking advantage and trying to be top dog. If one of the men I had worked with did this I KNOW it wouldn't be unconscious - men moan about each other's stuff on their desks so I am sure he is aware that it's not right. My colleagues (mostly male) used to be very resentful about my working less hours - is that part of the issue?

WimpleOfTheBallet · 20/01/2011 12:32

Eeew! What a rude eejt he sounds....YANBU at all! Deal with it n one of the ways suggested! And then come bck and el us all about it!