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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help! So embarrassed.

139 replies

Queenofthekitchen · 19/01/2011 20:43

I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I'm so embarrassed, so please don't laugh. Blush

My wonderful (strict Catholic) MIL gave me a food processor for Christmas. I was so excited, I love to cook and there are so many recipes I've been longing to try.

I've been making something every other day, practically, it's great. Anyway, 2 evenings ago I was making something and DH walked in and saw me using it. I was telling him how wonderful it was and took the bowl off to scrape my mixture of soup into bowls ready to eat. He took one look at it and came and put his arm round me and asked if I'd try something. Now, before you call troll, he has a thing about kitchen implements. Lets just say I never knew there were so many uses for rolling pins and spatulas before I met him. It doesn't really float my boat but I love him and it's not as bad a fetish as some things so I try and indulge him occasionally.

Anyway, he pointed out to me that the drive shaft on the processor was really strong and he'd love to see me ride it Blush Blush Blush. We have no dc's so have the house to ourselves and he was really keen so I did. It was very powerful! I was buzzing all evening. He loved it, says it was the sexiest thing ever (I had to keep my apron on). It was quite nice, I admit, although a bit too powerful, hence the buzzing.

Anyway, that's all fine but we went round to my PIL for supper last night and I took some of the leftover soup as we ran out the door (didn't really get round to eating much the night before), completely not thinking. I presented it to MIL and was gushing about the processor, when some very vivid memories from the night before popped into my head. My DH, who loves to wind people up said to his mother 'oh yes, the vibrations are very powerful.' I have never gone more red in my life. She made a catbum mouth and didn't say anything, but what if she guessed?! I'm so mortified.

Do you think I should refuse to use it again in that manner? It will disappoint DH dreadfully, but if he's going to crack jokes about it I'm going to be stubborn.

I know this all seems ridiculous, but I just know I'm going to go red every time I see my MIL now, and I've always wanted to make a good impression with her seeing as she's got such strict morals.

Blush Blush Blush

OP posts:
CaptainNancy · 19/01/2011 21:25

Now why do you think she gave you the food processor?
She thinks you're taking too long to provide GC, and wanted to help you both along in the bedroom dept

Deciduousblonde · 19/01/2011 21:26

With a kitchen utensil/appliance fetish like that I imagine the grandchildren will be conceived with a turkey baster...yes? Wink

Queenofthekitchen · 19/01/2011 21:30

Of course this is real Sarah. I'm so embarrassed, it's actually taken quite a bit of courage to post this.

Captain Nancy do you think she has an inkling of her son's habits?! Afterall, it's quite common for mothers to walk in on their sons, ahem, you know, and he has had a kitchen appliance thing all his life. (his mother is a very, very good cook though) Can't explain why other than that, but as I said there are worse fetishes and I'm trying to be open minded.

A turkey baster, lol. I won't suggest that to him, he'd be in heaven.

OP posts:
BurnAfterReading · 19/01/2011 21:32

Captain Nancy - she's not gonna get pregnant by fucking the food processor now is she lol

RespectTheDoughnut · 19/01/2011 21:38

See, now it's taken a very Freudian turn...

CaptainNancy · 19/01/2011 21:38

Well- he wasn't hiding his views so I wouldn't be surprised if she already had an inkling of his preferences!

Duhart · 19/01/2011 21:39

Cheered me up after the movie-blub thread!

BurnAfterReading · 19/01/2011 21:39

where else could it possibly go...

Cyclebump · 19/01/2011 21:39

Hmmmm, could have been a Kenwood actually. Mine has a juicer that acts as the lid and is rather pointy...

Again, who cares if it's real, DP has just told me off for giggling like a loon during the football.

Hullygully · 19/01/2011 21:42

I would be very worried about hygiene.

CaptainNancy · 19/01/2011 21:43

Now I am boggling, as another mner commented recently that her NYResolution was no gadgets after dinner... Grin

I have a strong suspicion about this OP! Wink

activate · 19/01/2011 21:45

so what do we reckon 14 year old? 15 year old? or just a sad adult male who has no life?

choccyp1g · 19/01/2011 21:46

Perhaps you could use the grater attachment for a do-it-yourself brazilian.

Goofymum · 19/01/2011 21:48

Eh? Did you really post this for advice, being so embarrassed and all, or are you just showing off/seeking attention? Yes it's amusing but not that much.

MissQue · 19/01/2011 21:49

Can you imagine getting pg to a food processor? You could give birth to small kitchen gadgets like garlic presses and lemon zesters.

Cyclebump · 19/01/2011 21:49

Ooh, that made me wince!

If it is a teenager messing around my goodness they're missing out. All that porn on the web and they're hoeing for MN. I blame American Pie and the immortalisation of the MILF.

Queenofthekitchen · 19/01/2011 21:52

Hully the bowl goes over the shaft so it doesn't touch the food at all. But I cleaned the shaft thoroughly anyway.

Activate, am a regular, female MNer who has just namechanged as am embarrassed. Promise Smile

OP posts:
Deciduousblonde · 19/01/2011 21:54

choccyp1g.. Shock

LMFAO!!!!!

MyLifeIsChaotic · 19/01/2011 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tethersend · 19/01/2011 22:02

MIL didn't guess

She remembered coming home from the shops early one day to see her son locked in a passionate embrace with the Moulinex.

She knows.

belieber · 19/01/2011 22:03

Cool story bro.

brightlightsandpromises · 19/01/2011 22:06

my DP is a petrol head, loves tinkering with his car - he often looks at the gear stick and raises his eyebrows, im sorry but even for the sake of mnet i aint going there, no way no how

Deciduousblonde · 19/01/2011 22:09

You are wise brightlights.

I read a bout a girl who tried that and got stuck.

How unpleasant must that have been.

brightlightsandpromises · 19/01/2011 22:11

activate - not at all, there have been reports of such fetish on mnet before. The postor of that story got the support that we have all come to expect from mumsnet, and rightly so. Although it does warn of the danger of how far these fetishes can go!! I would advise the OP to exercise restraint - and dont even bother with the vegetable isle at waitrose

brightlightsandpromises · 19/01/2011 22:12

do you think they had to call the firebrigade? I wasn't havign any of it, its an automatic - have you seen those gearsticks????