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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why so many women

73 replies

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 18/01/2011 09:35

use their husband's email addresses, because they don't know how to set up one of their own. I just looked at my email inbox and it is full of what appear to be emails from strange men - but they are actually from said men's wives. I mean, if you are going to be emailing regularly, why not get an address of your own? DD3 herself up with a googlemail account when she was seven - it's not that hard.
OK, I know IABU and it's none of my business, I just find it strange. Can anyone enlighten me please?

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 18/01/2011 09:36

Why don't you tell your friends how to set one up. Gmail is better than live.

Original poster
LadyGlencoraPalliser · 18/01/2011 09:40

I don't really know how to do that without sounding patronising Fabby. Although I did say to one friend who does have her own email that I found it odd, and she said that her husband had set hers up for her, and she would have no idea how to do it herself Shock.

OP posts:
DizzyKipper · 18/01/2011 09:43

I do find that odd, having never noticed it myself. Maybe it's because of a lack of exposure and a resultant lack of confidence?

xstitch · 18/01/2011 09:52

I think some people have convinced themselves that they won't be able to do it rather than actually not being able to do it. Although in my experience some men can take this attitude.

tryingtoleave · 18/01/2011 09:55

I have never seen this but YANBU - it sounds very strange and pathetic. I have noticed friends who have joint email accounts with their husbands and I think that is pretty odd too.

jonicomelately · 18/01/2011 09:55

I use DP's usually sometimes. I'm pretty good at DIY etc and I'm the only driver in the family etc but I honestly find computers a bit baffling. Nothing to do with being a woman because DP is more useless than me!

WhyHavePets · 18/01/2011 09:56

Why does it matter to you?

They are happy with the situation, you are getting emails from your friends, what is the issue?

Assuming it does not appear that they have an abusive controlling dh who likes to check the emails and are not lacking self confidence generally then I would say it has nothing to do with you and you are being quite interfearing to say anything at all.

jonicomelately · 18/01/2011 09:56

I'm not at all pathetic btw. It just doesn't matter at all to me.

BendyBob · 18/01/2011 10:00

We share the same one and it was set up in dh's name. I can't say it's ever been something that's ever crossed my mind. I don't think I lack exposure or confidence. Nor am I 'pathetic'Hmm

ningthemerciless · 18/01/2011 10:03

I think it's odd too. I work answering emails which are invariably from people 50+ and a good proportion of women who emil in do from their husbands address. Bugs the hell out of me when I have to address the email back to them!

Original poster
LadyGlencoraPalliser · 18/01/2011 13:50

Gosh, whyhavepets, I never intended interfering in any way, and as I stated in my OP I fully realise that it is none of my business. I was just wondering about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyGlencoraPalliser · 18/01/2011 13:52

I should have added, the reason I think it's odd is because when I look in my inbox I see emails from people who appear to be strangers, and its only when I open them that I realise who they are from.

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 18/01/2011 13:54

Maybe they don't use email much so can't be arsed?

PaisleyLeaf · 18/01/2011 13:55

I've not come across it.
But I can see how it might have happened. People don't like to change their e-mail address as it can (for some contacts) be so infrequently used and I can see how, in the early days of getting PC for the home, you might think 'we'll get ourselves an e-mail account' like you'd get yourself 1 phone for the household.
It's probably people who aren't that bothered about communicating this way.

stewmaker · 18/01/2011 13:56

I have never come across this Shock

Although i still use my old account with my maiden name

InterruptingCow · 18/01/2011 13:57

It sometimes puts me off emailing if people have a shared account. I may not want the husband to read what I want to say to the wife. Mind you, that's probably not a bad thing as it encourages me to pick up the phone rather than email.

Hassled · 18/01/2011 13:58

This beats the hell out of me, as well. So many strong, independant, clever women with email addresses like [email protected]. To me it seems like a lack of your own identity - but then I use email a lot, it's mine and it's personal - maybe if I used it less I'd understand the shared name thing more.
But it's always the man's name - you never see the situation reversed.

mumto2andnomore · 18/01/2011 13:59

I share an e mail address with my husband, we have no secrets from eachother so why not ? Hope my friends are not all thinking Im weird/incompetent !

unhappyshopper · 18/01/2011 13:59

Not everyone uses email. I dont think my husband has sent one ever... he gets me to do it for him!

His pc use is limited to facebook or youtube and he just isnt interested in the internet really apart from that.

HuwEdwards · 18/01/2011 13:59

All my friends have their own email, don't know anyone (male or femail) who uses their partner's

Laquitar · 18/01/2011 14:01

YANBU. It sounds odd to me too.

Some couples always go like 'a package'.

Stricnine · 18/01/2011 14:02

Having a few friends who do this I think it comes from a variety of things - most broadband/adsl setups require one person to be the main contact (and bill payer) so by default this seems to be the email of choice that unfamiliar users will default to ... nothing sinister or controlling - they have one phone number, on postal address, ergo one email!

They haven't worked up the necessary courage/skills to add another email to the account etc.. so use the one they've got as a 'household' email!

On a personal level we have too many email addresses between us in the household so suffer in a different way!

dessen · 18/01/2011 14:03

Internet setup by dh/dp & email just starts up without having to log in. You have to go to yahoo & others to log so why bother. I know it's only a few seconds but if you don't get lots of emails then why with this detail - & get straight on with the more important things

hifi · 18/01/2011 14:03

yanbu

tyler80 · 18/01/2011 14:04

I know a couple of older people who have a joint email, but that's always [email protected] so obviously joint as opposed to a wife using her husband's. Everybody else I know has there own email

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