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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to put my DD in nursery for 2 hours a week so I can just do nothing?

67 replies

niniane · 16/01/2011 19:03

DD is nearly 7 months old. I've only got my mother I can call on for babysitting which she's fine about as long as it's for a reason. DH is at work all week and I sometimes find things hard work and I get very little time for myself. I'll ask my mother to babysit on an odd occasion if I need to do something but whenever I mention how I'd like just an hour to myself I get comments like 'But you wouldn't be without her would you?', 'Well that's motherhood, it's a shock to the system isn't it?' or 'I never had any help with you.'

As a result I've been thinking about putting DD into nursery just for a couple of hours one afternoon a week so I can put my feet up, have a bath or generally do nothing. I know the reaction I will get from my mother which I'm prepared for but is she right? Should I just get on with it instead? Am I getting myself stressed out over something thousands of other women just have to cope with without complaining?

OP posts:

bluejeans · 16/01/2011 19:05

YANBU

I used to put DD in the Ikea creche when she was a bit older than your DD just so I could sit in the cafe with a coffee and a magazine. It was the only me-time I got!

RedHeels · 16/01/2011 19:06

YANBU. If you don't get a breather, you'll go mad.

On another tangent - where did you find a nursery that will take your LO only for 2 hrs?! AFAIK it has to be at least half a day.

justaboutmaintainingorder · 16/01/2011 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peacenow · 16/01/2011 19:08

Do it if you can afford to, I would!!!

nannynobnobs · 16/01/2011 19:08

YANBU. I wasn't working when DD2 became eligible for free nursery time but I still snapped it up- for my benefit as much as hers. Me time is vital! It meant I could go to the gym.

poshme · 16/01/2011 19:08

If you can afford it - do it and ignore anyone who says you shouldn't. I did when I wasn't working - some people were really about it - but I don't care!

NorfolkNChance · 16/01/2011 19:09

If you can afford it and find a nursery that takes children by the hour (I too thought it was by half day sessions only) then go for it!

You know what is best for you and your DD.

Doigthebountyeater · 16/01/2011 19:09

Your mother sounds like mine.it's almost as if because they had it hard, they need you to as well.

Do it and you'll probably be a better mother for it.

lollipop69 · 16/01/2011 19:09

No YANBU. It is perfectly normal for you to still want and need a little bit of 'me time'. When I found myself with 3 DCs under 3 yrs I put them all into nursery for 2 afternoons a week and all I ever did while they were there was have a bath or read! I made the rule that I would do no housework while they were there. And don't take any notice of the comments your mother will make. You will be a much happier Mum when you get some chill out time.

TattyDevine · 16/01/2011 19:10

2 hours isn't long for her to settle in her alternative environment. Nor is it long for you. I dont object to the principle though, but would you consider a couple of mornings a week or a "nursery day" which is like a schoolday of about 9 - 3...by the time they arrive, have snack, a nap, lunch, an activity, maybe another nap, its time to go home. Its long enough for you to do a post office errand, a browse around the shops, come home, mop the floors, pay some bills and go and collect her.

compo · 16/01/2011 19:10

Does she only nap with you?
I think it's hard for a seven month old to settle at nursery just for two hours a week
if you really need a break from her could you go back to work part time? Then she could go to nursey two or three days a week and get into more of a routine there

TheMonster · 16/01/2011 19:10

YANBU although you might be better off putting her in for a whole day.

TimeForACHEEKYWine · 16/01/2011 19:10

I put my DS2 into a nursery one day a week from 8am to 6pm. So i could have some me time. He was clingy to me, wouldnt leave me alone etc etc he was 12/14months - (only went for a while).

He was a better child for it and the clingyness let off. He is still a mummys boy but not as bad. Do it, it'l do you the world of good.

MoonUnitAlpha · 16/01/2011 19:11

I don't think 2 hours is enough tbh - she won't be able to settle in.

I'm doing the same as you - putting my 6 month old in nursery on the days I don't work But we're doing two 4 hour sessions.

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 16/01/2011 19:12

I wouldn't do it myself, but that's not important!

Do you have a friend you could swap some childcare with?

I think you will find it hard to find a nursery for only one small slot a week - but if you can and you can afford it, then it's up to you really isn't it.

I would rather use a friend or a childminder myself - but that's just personal choice.

It's not up to your Mum, she did it her way now it's your chance to do it your way.

It's typical isn't it, you have Mums that wont let GP's have them that really want them and the parents who would love the GP's to have them more, the GP's don't want to - life....

dessen · 16/01/2011 19:15

yanbu - you do need time to not be on constant child duty. Not many other roles are 24/7

belgo · 16/01/2011 19:17

No not for two hours a week. It would not be long enough for her to settle in.

I would try and get her a slot for two mornings minimum.

YouLittlePiggy · 16/01/2011 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

themothershipcalling · 16/01/2011 19:22

Do it. I put my DD in Nursery for half a day when I was on Mat leave and it saved my sanity.

It gave me chance to do 'non-mummy' things and just be me.

pozzled · 16/01/2011 19:26

Normally I'd be quick to say YANBU, but she is still very young and I think it would be hard to settle her for such a short time each week.

However, you do absolutely deserve some time to put your feet up. Are there any other options that you can try- what do you do while she naps? If you're doing housework then, try to cut back or leave more of it to your DH, or get a cleaner in. Also, make sure you get some time to yourself at weekends when your DH is around.

At the end of the day though, if you think she will be happy at nursery and if you'll be happier for having a bit of space away from her, then that's fine IMO.

chabbychic · 16/01/2011 19:28

I'm sorry but 7 month olds just sit there and bash toys. They're not even moving yet. And probably two long naps a day? Not sure what the problem is tbh.

MoonUnitAlpha · 16/01/2011 19:33

It's still nice to have some baby free time chabbychic!

belgo · 16/01/2011 19:36

Chabbychic - when dd1 was seven months old, she had been moving herself around for the previous two months.

valleyqueen · 16/01/2011 19:36

Yanbu I used to put dd in the creche at the sainsbury Satancentre then go for a read of the papers with a coffee.

I think you should go for a couple of half days though most nurseries have a min amount of sessions they can attend.

Mumsnut · 16/01/2011 19:38

I did this with my cleaner - she is a grandmother, has been with me for years, and I had no qualms about boosting her sessions so I could go out occasionally. AND she would iron / tidy / put a wash on when dd slept, since she knew her way around the house.

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