to want to put my DD in nursery for 2 hours a week so I can just do nothing?

[niniane]

DD is nearly 7 months old. I've only got my mother I can call on for babysitting which she's fine about as long as it's for a reason. DH is at work all week and I sometimes find things hard work and I get very little time for myself. I'll ask my mother to babysit on an odd occasion if I need to do something but whenever I mention how I'd like just an hour to myself I get comments like 'But you wouldn't be without her would you?', 'Well that's motherhood, it's a shock to the system isn't it?' or 'I never had any help with you.'

As a result I've been thinking about putting DD into nursery just for a couple of hours one afternoon a week so I can put my feet up, have a bath or generally do nothing. I know the reaction I will get from my mother which I'm prepared for but is she right? Should I just get on with it instead? Am I getting myself stressed out over something thousands of other women just have to cope with without complaining?

When my sons was about 8 months old I paid a friends daughter who was in yr 13 to walk my my son around in the pram take him to the park and mosey around the town centre for a couple of hours. Sometimes she came round and amused him for an hour whilst I got on with paperwork in the house. She could change a nappy and it paved the way for me to relax when he went to nursery. The first time I let her take him for a walk I was paranoid - imagining allsorts of terrible fates befalling them ( mugging accidents etc) but it was fine. Ask around someone might know aresponsible teenager ? Is this an option before for going for formal childcar later on?

For all the people saying "just do whatever you need to do while the baby naps", what if that involves getting out of the house? Do you just drag the kid along or leave it home alone or what?

Personally I don't want to do things while the baby naps - I want some time totally free of the responsibility.

Do it! I go for a swim. He is probably there for two hours in total and only an hour without me - my place only charges for the time the child is there without a carer. Makes me feel self indulgent but sane.
I am hoping to get up to two half sessions within a month, by which time he will be seven months.
For me it us also about a very gradual transition for him into full time day care when I go back to work when he is 13 months. That's what I tell myself...really I suspect self indulgence! Do it, you are only human.

I remember when my firstborn was 4 months old. Typical scenario, no family nearby, dh working all hours, no respite, and I was going a little stir-crazy. I loved looking after him, but was desperate for a wee break.

My health visitor suggested to me the possibility of having a morning off one day a week.

My friend was a childminder, who already knew my son, and she agreed to have him for 4 hours between 9-1pm on a monday morning, and it was brilliant! I looked forward to those 4 hours off all week (after the 164 hours of being on tap) at first, I slept and read, then as I got used to having a bit of time to myself, I was more productive and got stuff done.

Ds1 is 13 now, but I still remember how much I got out of those monday mornings, and how much it helped x

Actually I wouldn't get hung up on how difficult or otherwise your DD is, because that is just going down the road of feeling you have to justify it by saying you "need" it.

Strictly speaking you probably don't "need" it, in the sense that without that nursery time you would probably bring up your daughter perfectly well and be reasonably happy in yourself. However, it is something that you would like because it would make your life better, possibly your daughter's also (and, importantly, doesn't seem likely to make her life worse!).

Most people have things they don't, strictly speaking, "need", in the sense that life would be dreadful without them but they they make life better/easier and if they can afford them they have them.

So, since you can afford it, just do it.

...oh yes, and I agree with the others that 2 hrs doesn't seem long enough to achieve what you want to achieve

YANBU! My DD still goes to nursery even though I was made redundant some time ago. I use the time to do the housework, cleaning and laundry so that when she's with me, we can play together guilt-free. I am a better Mummy for it.

If it's just for a few hours, why not try to find a gym with a crèche? Mine has one and only charges £4.50 an hour, so I leave DD there for 90 minutes (she enjoys it) whilst I do a little bit of exercise, have a l-o-n-g shower, dry my hair properly and sometimes squeeze in a cup of coffee too.

FabbyChic - I don't mean to be rude but the only thing that pops to mind to say to you is . . . shut up!

Its the being totally off call isnt it?
Even when they are napping you cant truly relax in case they wake up

If you can find a way to get him in somewhere for 2 hrs go for it- you might find a childminder is best as they may have a gap 3 hrs where a 3 year old is at preschool that they couldnt otherwise fill? Not sure on the logistics of that, but you could ask on the CM board

Fabbychic - 'back in the day' many mothers were dosed up on valium.

I suspect some of them still are.

To the person who said about going out when the baby naps - yes of course, they just nap in the pushchair, car seat wherever. You don't see mums of preschoolers and babies trapped in the house for 2-3 hours after lunch so that the baby can nap in it's cot usually.

Easy to have hair cut, run errands. However OP said they just wanted 'me time', I thought they just wanted to read, sleep, watch TV etc.

I still don't think YABU if it's what you want but I couldn't be bothered with checking out nurseries, sorting out nursery bag, named bottles, clothes etc, getting to know key worker for 2 hours a week unless they were going to be doing a lot more hours in the near future anyway. Especially if nursery then rocked to sleep and messed up routine/had the sleep time anyway! (used gym crech when DS was small and they put them in those swing chairs that rock so he slept the whole time).

niniane, I so would love a bbay snuggle so if you are near me I will have the baby for you. I used to be a really good nanny (crap mum though) so baby would be quite safe .

YANBU. Is there another job where you have to work 68 hours a week, 52 weeks a year? No! So don't ever feel guilty about needing or wanting a bit of time off. Most people get entire evenings, nights, annual holidays and weekends free. Parents don't! Good on you and go for it OP.

sorry, should have said "is there another job where you have to work 168 hours", not 68 hrs.

A mere 68 hours would be a luxury!

I was wondering where you got the 68 hours from!