to want to put my DD in nursery for 2 hours a week so I can just do nothing?

[niniane]

DD is nearly 7 months old. I've only got my mother I can call on for babysitting which she's fine about as long as it's for a reason. DH is at work all week and I sometimes find things hard work and I get very little time for myself. I'll ask my mother to babysit on an odd occasion if I need to do something but whenever I mention how I'd like just an hour to myself I get comments like 'But you wouldn't be without her would you?', 'Well that's motherhood, it's a shock to the system isn't it?' or 'I never had any help with you.'

As a result I've been thinking about putting DD into nursery just for a couple of hours one afternoon a week so I can put my feet up, have a bath or generally do nothing. I know the reaction I will get from my mother which I'm prepared for but is she right? Should I just get on with it instead? Am I getting myself stressed out over something thousands of other women just have to cope with without complaining?

Everyone seems to be commenting on whether 2 hours is the right amount of time but I think what you're looking for is permission to have some me time and put your DC into nursery when you're not working.

It's up to you and your DC how long you settle her into nursery for (or maybe a babysitter or childminder?) but it is ABSOLUTELY ok to want this and need this. My DD was in nursery for 2 afternoons a week from 9 months.

And whilst some might find your DD's age an easy stage, I have to say I found it the hardest of all and my DD (who is now 2.5) definitely did not take 2 blissful long naps a day. It was full on, constant attention all day and a hard slog.

Go for it, it's up to you how you parent and it's ok to want some time out for yourself - you'll probably be an even better mum for it. Just allow yourself as long as you need.

YANBU to want some time to yourself.

When I was on maternity leave with DS, I carried on putting DD into nursery for 1 day a week.

However, I must echo the concerns about putting your DD in nursery for such a short amount of time. They really don't get a chance to settle. My DD was fine because she had previously been going for 2.5 days a week. However, my DCs nursery don't like taking new children for less than 2 sessions a week because they are unsettled for such a long time that way.

Try to chill during your DDs naptime as well.

YANBU and I don't agree with all these "2 hours isn't enough to settle" etc

My local childrens centre do creche sessions of 3 hours for an afternoon or morning a week. You are only allowed 1 session a week and DS has been going there since he was 11 months, he is now 2.11. I haven't had a problem with that fact that it is only 3 hours a week and I can't always get him booked in so some weeks he does miss it.

I was worried that he would get clingy with me as I am a SAHM and didn't want him to get older and not be ok with being left with anyone else, plus the me time is amazing and I always look forward to picking him up and seeing him again, but I get those precious few hours where I don't have to be on call and can just enjoy the peace.

Do it and don't listen to your mum. Just because these services weren't available to her, doens't mean you shouldn't use them.

Also do it for the amount of time that you want to do (if you have a nursery that lets you do short sessions).

You might find a childminder easier? They might have an afternoon free?

YANBU.

YANBU

and at 7 months they arent always just sitting bashing toys...my DD was walking at that age(she kept walking into stuff because she didnt really know what she was doing!)

give yourself some time

I was going to say YABU as children find it better if they go to nursery 2-3 times a week ime but at 7 months YANBU and it is a good age to start before separation anxiety sets in.

YANBU. I agree that a half day would enable you to make use of the time a bit better - by the time you've bundled them up, got them in and come home, you might not have much time before you have to go and collect. And if you wanted to pay a visit to someone with the time, or get your hair done or just read more than a couple of chapters in the bath you'll have a little more wiggle room.

Back in the day when my children were young we just got on with it.

Looking after just one child is easy, if they need constant attention it is because of the way you have been with them since they were born.

Looking after babies/toddlers is easy and you still get time to yourself, it is about managing your time.

Women seem to want kids but not all the care that they have to put into looking after them.

DS goes to nursery for 1 half day a week. I am currently looking for work so it gives me time to do that and some me time.

He loves it, I'm not a baby group kinda mum so it is the ideal way for him to mix with other babies aswell!

YANBU to want some time to do nothing so if you can afford it go for it. My DS was on the move at this age but still waking a lot at night so it is definitely not an easy age!

The nursery my DS attends, and others that I have looked at, would only do half days, not a couple of hours. Not sure if you have to do more than one a week though (we do three days). At DS's nursery a half day is only a tenner cheaper than a full day too. The routine DS follows at nursery would make a half day tricky with nap time, so if I have an afternoon off, say if we're going away, I usually leave him there, get me and DH sorted then collect him once his nap is over and pref when he's had tea too (3.15ish).

If I am lucky enough to have a second child I fully intend to keep DS at nursery 1 day a week too.

fabby, just because you were a childcare goddess/matyr, doesn't mean we all have to do the same.

YANBU - but I'd check out a childminder as well

God 7 months not easy at all IME.
Crawling, into everything, still not sleeping thru (again IME)
I didn't have DS in nursery until 2 yrs but if I could have got a break at 7 months I would have, but maybe with a CM , or relative.
I have never observed a baby room in a nursery I could feel totally ok with tbh.

Fabbychic
I don't often post here but your post has really wound me up.
Different children are very different. My daughter did still need constant attention at this age. I resent your comment that difficult babies are the parents' fault - I simply don't believe that's true. Some will have special needs. Some may have personality traits that make them harder work. I suspect my daughter was difficult at this age because of a rather hard start in life - I was critically ill on ITU after her birth, she was also ill, really struggled to regain her birthweight and spent her first 2 months or so underweight and needing a lot of input.

OP - YANBU. Time to yourself is valuable. Valid points about whether a little longer might be better - but you know your baby best and just something to weigh up when you're deciding.

I don't think you are out of order wanting time to yourself, but seriously, what do you do when she naps? (Has 3 preschoolers and is wondering how I found life hard with one, but I did).

I can understand how you feel but also think you are very lucky. You have your mum to babysit (even just for a reason).

I was in a terrible state when my dcs were little and was hardly coping and didn't have anyone who would help me. I was a terrible mum because of what I was going through and would have been better at it if I had ever got the chance to have a breather (if you know what I mean).

I didn't even have the person who helps when it is for a reason (gyno etc) so had to drag my poor little dcs everywhere which just added to the overall family stress.

Not sure how this is relevant and not saying that you should consider yourself lucky or anything. Just thinking back and feeling a bit sorry for myself and my little babies.

I'll shut up now.

YABU, but my 9 month old has, since weaning, slept for 2.5 hours after lunch every day, hence plenty of time for putting feet up and bath (and of course loads of time at weekend whilst DH around). I have encouraged this long sleep.

I do put him in the gym creche twice a week for 1.5 hours at a time, and he is very happy there - no issue with settling, so disagree with other posters, he is always happy when we get there. Have been going regularly since 6 months.

my nursery is minimum 3 half sessions a week. dd did that and now she does two full days but i fetch her about 3. mostly because i wanted to get her settled before i go back to work for those 2 days but god i love it - i am laone with dd 24/7 because dh works away and i need a break and dont feel guilty. dd loves nursery and its tiny so good staff ratio etc. this will only last a few weeks but its just amazing to get a break!

Go for it.

I work parttime. One day when I'm not working I have put my 2.5 year old in for an extra session, just so that I can have just my 1 year old with me. And I haven't told my DH yet. But my Mum knows. And agrees. Cos she knows how hard it is.

And, once your child is settled into a nursery, you'll get priority over others on the waiting list if you need to up your hours.

sorry meant YANBU, but that is it really necessary because what a faff to take to nursery just to have a bath when he could be sleeping!

Go for it, I would if I could afford it. My OH works away all week while I'm at home with my 2yr old DD, even at weekends I don't sit down as I'm slaving over the both of them.

My mum is EXACTLY the same as yours, those words from your mother could come out of my mums mouth. Like at the moment, the only time my my parents will look after my DD is for me to go and see the midwife in peace. You feel a sense of guilt just for wanting a little break don't you? Thats why I'm not feeling bad about my OH's plans for us to move to the US later this year.

Op, im going to put my dd in child care for 1 day a week and I am a sahm. My psychiatrist has actually advised me to do it because he thinks it will aid me in my ongoing recovery from horrendous Pnd. So I think you should go for it.

Yeah I know that some mums find it easy like FabbyChic but some of us have a really hard time and having a break for a few hours can be a huge help

YANBU i'm on a break in uni and still send DD into nursery for 3 reasons 1. Im still paying for it. 2. She loves it there and has loads more fun than sitting at home with me. and 3. i can get things done in 1/100 of the usual time or sit on my arse and watch amercian dramas with a cup of tea. she is not in as much as she is term time so we still get time together but i'm happy and she is happy.

Fabbychic are you sure you're not the OP's mother? You sure sound like you have that "in my day" and "mothers today" (cue eye-roll) thing going, just like she describes.