To use as a sanction something I didn't want to do today anyway?

[LazyParenting]

Told ds I would take him to the Disney Shop today. I said this last night when we were talking about what to do today. Woke up today feeling tired and achy and the last thing I want to do is shove round our local shopping centre.

However he has just pinched his sister and shouted at her, so I have told him No Disney Shop!

I didn't want to go anyway and seized on that as a reason not to go. Feel a bit guilty now though, as though I haven't thought through the consequence thing for this just used it to my own ends iyswim? Or Am I just overthinking this as per usual?

Did you give him any warning first?

I've done that too and consoled myself with the fact that they don't know what you've done and what a terrible person you are.

You can now use it as an incentive to be good for next weekend.

No because he just suddenly pinched her, nothing led up to it iyswim, she came running up crying with a big red mark on her arm.

Morticia, a double whammy there, you are right can use it for next weekend too.

YANBU. I would do it too.

Then I think it's out of order to be honest. You could have sat him in time out or done whatever you would have done if you actually wanted to go to the Disney shop.

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me - physical aggression = no treat.

Can he do some chores around the house to earn the treat later in the week?

How old is he?
I thinki it's fine
pinching is horrid

Well I probably would have confiscated his lap top or something, which he would have hated more if the Disney trip hadn't been on the agenda.

I will definitely take him next weekend.

He is 7.

Oh I think it's fine at 7
he sounds quite lucky anyway to have a laptop at his age
I wouldn't give it another thought

Why trudge round the he'll of the Disney shop when you feel unwell?
Even if he hadn't pinched his ds, I would have said we can't go today as mummy is unwell.

God, no YANBU. It's win-win then isn't it?

Over thinking .

Nothing wrong with using sanctions that suit you.

Well we all share the lap top, but he uses it most, although I am posting on it right now.

Suspect you're overthinking it tbh - he doesn't know you couldn't really be bothered anyway. And he's done a naughty thing and not getting to go is the consequence of that.
It works in reverse too - ds2 and I struck a deal that he could have a treat of his choosing (within reason) if he fulfilled an obligation previously agreed. It all worked out but did mean I spent a freezing afternoon quad biking yesterday - and I didn't want to, but that was his consequence of his (good) action. Make sense?

Yes I do that too 2blessed and I never back out.

Did his sister not want to go to the Disney shop?

She wouldn't be fussed tbh, she is only 4 and park/soft play/baking/colouring/play dough with Mum would be just as agreeable to her. Ds is a bit more of a consumer .