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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want DH to leave me alone with DS tonight?

66 replies

bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 14:57

I think DS has come down with swine flu. He got up this morning with a runny nose but generally in good spirits. Went out shopping this morning and had to come home straight away as DS was coughing, shivery and really tired. He now has a temperature of 38.7 and is really lethargic and can't get him to drink. Obviously I'm feeling worried :(

DH is due to go to visit friends in Bristol tonight (we are 90 minutes drive from there) and I'm worried about being by myself in case things get worse (I don't drive) and I need help. My family don't live close by and nor do my close mates. I am reluctant to ask him to cancel as he's had to cancel nights out a few times for similar reasons and feel a bit of an ogre telling her DH he needs to stay in to help me nurse sick DS. If DS remains as he is, I can cope easily and will feel a bit of a dick making him stay in with me.

Would I be being U if I suggested he might postpone it?

OP posts:
GelflinGirl · 15/01/2011 15:00

yeah, hes fine to go. If you were that worried you could call an ambulance.

eaglewings · 15/01/2011 15:01

Have you talked it through with him?

It may be normal flu, but still its a worrying time. If you can't get ds to drink that would be the reason at the moment for needing help, can you decide later in the afternoon?

compo · 15/01/2011 15:02

If you really think it's swine flu shouldn't you get him checked out now ?

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 15:04

Yeah but even if I get it checked out, what will the GP tell me? To give him paracetamol, which I have done Confused

OP posts:
moogalicious · 15/01/2011 15:04

YABU. what gelfin said.

Jaybird37 · 15/01/2011 15:04

Depends a bit on whether you have other DCs and how old DS is. Arriving en masse at hospital is not great.

If DS is really flat and not drinking, and not responding to Calpol, it may be worth getting the GP out earlier, so that you can make a decision together.

belgo · 15/01/2011 15:05

Has he been diagnosed with swine flu?

Are you stocked up with calpol?

Agree with gelfin.

AgentZigzag · 15/01/2011 15:05

How old is your DS?

I could understand it if he's a tiny baby as they can perhaps take a turn for the worse quicker than an older DC, but if he's older, they get temperatures and flu all the time so not really an emergency.

Could there be some other reason you're not wanting your DH to go away tonight?

ChippingIn · 15/01/2011 15:06

If you think it's swine flu take him to the Drs now they will give him more than paracetamol.

If you don't actually think it's that then YABU.

If DH goes you and DS is unwell you can call an ambulance.

You not driving is not relevant and not something to hold your DH hostage over.

oldraver · 15/01/2011 15:07

I would say for him to go unless DS worsens but with an eye out for coming home if need be

What makes you think it Swine Flu and not just a cold with fever ??

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 15:07

Sorry DS is 3 and I have no other children.

Absolutely no reason for not wanting DH to go away (I knew someone would ask this!) Was actually looking forward to a night alone watching Take Me Out with a bottle of wine and a pizza.

OP posts:
belgo · 15/01/2011 15:07

TBH the symptoms could just be a normal cold.

If he perks up with calpol and starts drinking, that is a good sign. If he doesn;t drink or perk up all day, then you do need to see a doctor.

A doctor would not just prescribe paracemtamol, but also asses his overall condition, listen to his chest and breathing.

MrsGravy · 15/01/2011 15:09

I would be happy for my dh to go in those circs. There are loads and loads of viruses with those symptoms so no real reason to think its swine flu and even if it is there's no reason to think you will end up rushing to a + e with him. Just keep an eye on the no drinking thing. Would he eat a lolly or ice cubes?

belgo · 15/01/2011 15:09

Agree, you not driving should not mean that your dh has to stay with you. he will get very resentful if that happens.

You need your own back up plan to cope when he is not there. (I don't drive either btw)

Mutt · 15/01/2011 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 15/01/2011 15:13

I like to be predictable, sorry OP Grin

It's horrible though when you're used to seeing them jumping about like mad things, to see them so listless and ill.

I'm sure he'll be fine, lots of sleep, drink and cuddles (disclaimer - that's in no way medical advice of any sort!) Smile

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 15:23

OK I haven't asked him to stay but am calling the emergency docs now for advice.

OP posts:
belgo · 15/01/2011 15:24

that sounds like a good plan.

Hope you have a good night and you get to have a break tomorrow.

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 15:33

Have just rang the emergency line and the man asked me to take DS to a primary care centre eight miles away. DH is now rationalising why I shouldn't take him. Gahhhhhhhhhh!

OP posts:
Meow75 · 15/01/2011 15:39

That is unreasonable, cupcakes.

A suggestion from a medical person, even if he IS just ass-covering.

I think DH needs to resign himself to the fact that DS comes before a night out, regardless of how many times it's had to be cancelled.

There's a thread in Active about someone who's just been to comfort the family of a young adult male who has died of swine flu. Man up, Bupcakes DH!!!

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 15:50

Right the clinician has rang me back and told me to take him to the PCC at 4.40. DH is doing cat's bum mouth and crossed arms and telling me that I am over-reacting. WTF? So now I'm worrying about DS, about over-reacting and putting the kibosh on DH's night out. Fuck's sake.

OP posts:
belgo · 15/01/2011 15:52

Tell your dh he doesn't have a choice, you have to do as the doctor says.

3littlefrogs · 15/01/2011 15:53

Taxi?

I do think your DH is being unreasonable now. If you have been advised to take DS to the PCC then that should be the priority.

If all is well DH can still go out surely?

ChippingIn · 15/01/2011 15:53

Surely there's plenty of time to take DS and if he's OK still go.

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 15:54

Doctor will be examining at DH's goolies for irrepairable damage after I hoof him in them if he keeps this petulant child act up much longer...

OP posts: