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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want DH to leave me alone with DS tonight?

66 replies

bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 14:57

I think DS has come down with swine flu. He got up this morning with a runny nose but generally in good spirits. Went out shopping this morning and had to come home straight away as DS was coughing, shivery and really tired. He now has a temperature of 38.7 and is really lethargic and can't get him to drink. Obviously I'm feeling worried :(

DH is due to go to visit friends in Bristol tonight (we are 90 minutes drive from there) and I'm worried about being by myself in case things get worse (I don't drive) and I need help. My family don't live close by and nor do my close mates. I am reluctant to ask him to cancel as he's had to cancel nights out a few times for similar reasons and feel a bit of an ogre telling her DH he needs to stay in to help me nurse sick DS. If DS remains as he is, I can cope easily and will feel a bit of a dick making him stay in with me.

Would I be being U if I suggested he might postpone it?

OP posts:
Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 15:56

That's what I said. "If it's all OK, you can still go. Just later." What a tit.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 15/01/2011 15:56

But you didn't stop him going out, what else can you do but follow the clinicians advice?

If you decided to ignore it, and even if nothing happened, you'd feel like shit and so would your DH.

It's hard to make the call on how ill they are, so you asked someone qualified.

I'm sure your DH knows he's BU, can't he go out after if they say your DS is OK?

SleepingLion · 15/01/2011 15:58

What makes you think this is swine flu and not just a cold/virus? Confused

Maybe in the long term, driving lessons would help you feel more confident about being left alone - as others have said, you need your own backup plan for situations like this in general.

PDR · 15/01/2011 15:59

They usually try and see you quickly IME so he should have plenty of time if he still wants to go out.

They are probably seeing you due to possible dehydration - IME they do not usually want to see you if you have flu/swine flu but rather tell you to stay at home and take paracetomol and nurofen in conjunction.

oftenpurple · 15/01/2011 16:00

I will always take a medical professional's advice over a hurmphing DH. Best to get him checked out otherwise you'll be worrying all night.

MilkNoSugarPlease · 15/01/2011 16:00

Er as far as I can see, your OP was aimed at the OP o the other thread

And fwiw, YABVU and completely fucking ridiculous

MilkNoSugarPlease · 15/01/2011 16:01

whoops!!! Wrong thred!!

PDR · 15/01/2011 16:02

Whoops Milk Grin

3littlefrogs · 15/01/2011 16:03

Unless there are medical reasons why you can't drive, I would really recommend that you learn. It will transform your life and save these sorts of arguments.

I hope you get it all sorted and DS is ok.

ChippingIn · 15/01/2011 16:07

Only if they can afford to run two cars.

I can't imagine not driving - I've been driving longer than some of the posters on here Grin but people have their reasons for not doing so.

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 19:38

I don't drive for the health reasons of the nation; I am lethal behind a wheel.

Just got back from the emergency docs where I aged 40 years during the wait Angry DS vommed all over the floor TWICE and the receptionist just threw paper on it and said the cleaners would deal with it in the morning, despite my request for a mop and disinfectant. Ick.

Anyway, DS has a very bad cold and fever but thankfully not swine flu. Going to keep an eye on him though, poor lamb. He has been sleeping on and off since 2.

OP posts:
CognitiveDissident · 15/01/2011 19:54

bupcakes
I think this particular bug has been doing the rounds here as well (fever,flu-ey cold and vomiting)

If it is the same one then it only lasts 24-48 hours (fortunately) but can leave you feeling tired and off-colour for a couple of weeks afterwards. DS2 had it over xmas; DP had to catch vomit in his cupped hands at one point

Hope your ds is better soon

brightlightsandpromises · 15/01/2011 20:36

Shock about receptionist, i would seriously make a complaint - where is there infection control??? That is just mental.

Your DH is an arse for needing asking not to go out on account of lo being poorly, my DP wouldn't go to the end of the road if our DD was even off colour, why would he do that??

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 20:54

I'm not sure about complaining about the receptionist as she was really sweet about DS puking all over the gaffe but yes, understand what you mean Confused

don't mean to cone across as a hysterical mother but DS has a rash around his mouth and behind his ears now. Nowhere else on his body though. Can anyone put my mind at rest please?!

OP posts:
brightlightsandpromises · 15/01/2011 21:07

Im sorry but i think you need to call the docs again. I think it is probably a viral rash and nothing to worry about but you shoudlnt take any chances. How is his temperature?

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 21:13

His temp is ok, but he has had Calpol. He is still fast asleep and I'm not sure I can face traipsing all the way back over to the PCC if it's just a viral rash. It really distressed him earlier when we were sat in there.

Mind you, it distressed me too. There was a family in there eating a KFC bucket meal Grin

OP posts:
brightlightsandpromises · 15/01/2011 21:15

yeah, that would have distressed me too - just keep an eye on that rash, if it spreads you HAVE to seek advice

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 21:18

Have been checking his chest and legs every five minutes and not spread thus far. Think it will be a sleepless one for me tonight!

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skydance · 15/01/2011 21:28

bupcakes as long as the rash disappears when you press it, then it's viral, even if it spreads to his chest it's fine as long as it goes when you press it with your fingers or a glass, just give a good firm press and it should go away for a moment.

Suspect you might have gone to a PCC near me, sooo glad none of my lot are poorly tonight, I wouldn't want to go up there until cleaner has been Grin

Hope you manage to get some rest tonight, are you on your own?

QueenSconetta · 15/01/2011 21:32

Bupcakes, hope DS is ok. I can't believe the receptionist would leave the puke there til tomorrow!!! I would have thought that for something so potential hazardous they would have an on call cleaning team!

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 21:33

Shit I haven't even done the press test and I've put him in his bed now. Why is it that everything that you drum into your own brain gets forgotten when you need it?

DH is here. I think that after seeing how ill he was at the pcc he knew I wasn't worrying for nothing. I'm trying to relax just had a small glass of wine and am watching some shite telly but am on panic mode! Grin

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CognitiveDissident · 15/01/2011 21:35

check to see if it blanches (turns pale when you press it)

Meningococcal rashes tend to be dark purple-red and spotty(non-blanching). Viral rashes are more diffuse, blotchy,or look like sunburn,and blanch when you press them.

Treatment for the viral jobbies is calpol/nurofen, fluids and rest. You only need A&E/docs if his temp. doesn't come down, or if he's drowsy and unresponsive,or if breathing is v.noisy and laboured.

Original poster
bupcakesandcunting · 15/01/2011 21:39

His rash is very even. No spots or blotches, just like a red patch on his skin. It looks like he's got a little red goatee! It almost looks like a burn mark IYSWIM?

OP posts:
skydance · 15/01/2011 21:42

Glad DH stayed home in the end, it's not nice dealing with it all your own, good to have some moral support, someone to examine rash with you etc.

skydance · 15/01/2011 21:46

His rash is very even. No spots or blotches, just like a red patch on his skin. It looks like he's got a little red goatee! It almost looks like a burn mark IYSWIM?

That dosen't sound like anything to worry about at all, sounds like a viral rash to me.