to think men seem to have taken to MN in their droves recently......and I don't like it

[LadyBlaBlah]

Every thread I go on, there are men putting forward their opinion

I have enough of men in RL. AIBU thinking they should bog off to DN or go play the X Box or something?

HB - I am not 'pissed off'. And I have no desire to do a post mortem either.

It may not be. But that is how it comes across to the recipient.

But UD, don't you think it's sometimes useful to ahve conversational short-cuts which mean that you don't have to go into the basics of why something is wrong?

It happens all the time in normal conversation.

Hmmmmmmm... But it's unfortunate if they are not understood. Not if they come across as all clever-clever and superior. Which this term does, sadly.

What, out of interest, do you expect a man's reaction to be when he is accused of this? Given that, presumably, "Don't be silly/ What on earth do you mean?/ You what?" is not what you are after...

I think it was TSH further up who indicated she saw it as an invitation to sling around a whole host of nasty stereo-types. About both genders. Which naturally isn't going to happen.

Lenin - I'm not referring to the explanations on here, I'm referring to the person who comes up against it for the first time. An unfortunate timing of cross-posting makes it look as if my "they" refers to your message.

If you have to explain the meaning of something every time you use it, how many times do you have to use it before you realise it really isn't catching on?

no Lenin - it has been explained, understood, and has had the piss ripped out of it last night. Which is fine.

Ah yes, TSH. All her posts are consistentaly and implacably hostile to feminism.

UD - I wouldn't in RL tell a man he was man-splaining, unless the subject came up and he asked for an explanation, unless I knew he was familiar with the term.

To be fair, nobody has ever told me in real life I was doing it. I have been accused of it once or twice online. Which either means I am less patronising in real life, or the people I associate with are less touchy

no Lenin, the phrase itself, not you at all. It was very amusing for a while. Thought my "Mickeysplain" was best but then I would.

We were all having a laugh at its expense yesterday. Scroll up for entertainment :)

HB - din't know that. But she was right on that one at least. IMVHO.

btw - I am posting from sick bay. Have a 7am to 7pm job ordinarily. Is this what you lot do all day??!!

Nick Clegg should launch an enquiry. Or something.

TSH isn't right on anythign Pan.

nice name though.

I missed "Mickeysplain" before - v good

Anyway, my take on its use is this. If you're entering into a discussion with genuine respect for the other participants, especially when those participants are discussing some aspect of their experience as members of a group to which you don't belong, then you'll be treated with respect too. Accusations of mansplaining tend to indicate that the women participating in the discussion feel their opinions/feelings on the issue at hand (coming as they do from a reality the man can't claim to have experienced himself) are being persistently - perhaps deliberately - disrespected by the mansplainer. Most likely the women will have given the benefit of the doubt and attempted to interact with the mansplainer in a civil manner, but, if he insists on maintaining his disrespectful attitude, he can hardly be surprised when the other participants call him on his behaviour in no uncertain terms. And then the word is useful because it expresses so precisely this specific kind of behaviour. Whereas calling him an "arrogant shit" (for example) doesn't. He won't like it, of course. But why should he get away with it? Having been called on the behaviour in such a precise manner he at least has the opportunity to go away and think about what he has done. That's what a reasonable person would do, once they'd stopped smarting from the (perceived) insult.

Yes I can only imagine using mansplainer after having exhausted every single polite option there is, and knowing that my views were being totally dismissed because they're not valid because of my gender.

Having read through this thread, I have learned that men and women like different things.

Wowzer.

you mean 771 posts later and you still haven't cottoned onto womensplain???

Nothing gets past you TLD.

I'm sharp as a tack, me.

To be fair I don't think mansplainers generally realise when they are doing it. They just think "I know about xyz, and I can't really understand what this lady is saying about it so clearly she must be confused. She'll be ever so grateful if I explain it all for her."

In my experience it's usually a quite innocent behaviour arising from a particular type of over-confidence which, for cultural reasons, men often suffer from, which unfortunately combines with a particular type of self-questioning which, for cultural reasons, women often suffer from. Sometimes it's not even irritating.

(Incidentally I first heard the term "mansplaining" from a man. But one with a sense of humour, obviously.)