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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be completely unable to manage my toddlers hair?

105 replies

WimpleOfTheBallet · 14/01/2011 10:41

I need hair help badly. She's 2 and curly...not the curliest but pretty tight ringlets...and I can't cope with it.

Im THIS far from chopping it...and I hate people who do that to tiny kids.

Evry time I try to brush it...use a tangle teaze...she FREAKS and I mean kicking, punching, scratching and biting.

Last time I got my crown knocked out as she threw herself backwards and hit me in the mouth.

I have tried

Brushing it wet
Brushing it dry
Brusing it with conditoner combed through
Kids De-tangler
Grown ups serum
Different brushes includng an afro

I cant BEAR it...it needs doing now...and I'm going to get beaten up. Sad

Should I wrap her in a towel like you do with a cat? Or is that awful? The thing is that because she throws herself round and gets hysterical she bumps her knees, head and hurts her throat yelling...it's so bad.

HELP ME!

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 14/01/2011 10:42

Have you tried an afro comb? That might work.

FabbyChic · 14/01/2011 10:43

Oh sorry you already have! OUch.

spybear · 14/01/2011 10:45

Cut it, it's not worth the hassle she has the rest of her life to have long hair, just go for what ever is comfortable now. She can have pretty clips in or whatever so its still cute

JBellingham · 14/01/2011 10:46

Shave her bald, get on with something useful like teaching her to read.

Original poster
WimpleOfTheBallet · 14/01/2011 10:46

I don't know WHAT the neighbours must think...she's a pretty tough kid iyswim...very feisty and when she yells she YELLS! Shock Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
WimpleOfTheBallet · 14/01/2011 10:47

SpyBEar...will people judge me though? If I do cut it?

OP posts:
WhereTheWildThingsWere · 14/01/2011 10:49

Can you not bribe her?

Start off with every time you put the brush through her her hair she get a chocolate button?

Bribery far better than fighting her.

Greeninkmama · 14/01/2011 10:50

Mine couldn't stand having her hair brushed and frequently had a huge tangle in the back. I used to chop it out from time to time. Didn't show that much!

BaronessBomburst · 14/01/2011 10:50

I wouldn't judge. Probably wouldn't even notice really. Just cut it off and you'll both be happier.

curlymama · 14/01/2011 10:52

My Mum would feel your pain! I was your dd!

How long is her hair?

My Mum used to use a wide tooth comb and only brush when wet, and always start at the bottom and work your way up. I still do this now.

You need to use bribery, can you save her favourite tv programmes for when she has to sit and have her hair done? I know she is only 2, but things like that, or comics or sticker books will help as she gets older.

I also used to get taken to the hairdressers sometimes who would put my hair in a French plait, and it would stay there for days at a time just by combing in any little strays each morning.

Have a look in an afro hairdressing shop or salon for good products, and ask people there for advice. I always prefer black people who are used to afro hair to do mine, they are just so much better at dealing with unruly curls.

GlynistheMenace · 14/01/2011 10:52

Have you tried to contact her 'inner princess'?

By this I mean bribe her with cheap nasty tat pretty hairslides, bobbles even a tiara Blush

Take her on a girly shopping trip to buy her a little brush/comb of her choice, one small enough so she can use, and take little steps every day.

And how you brush it will make a huge difference to her, don't start at the crown, just tease the ends at 1st, then work your way up?

My LOs hair isn't so curly as your DDs sounds but some days a hat is a god-send. If she's been in 'that' mood, no way would I get near her either Sad

Good luck Smile

MumNWLondon · 14/01/2011 10:53

Don't brush it other than when its washed.

Get it trimmed by hairdresser every 6 months without fail to get rid of the tangly ends and buy a pot of intensive conditioner and lather loads it on in the bath. Brush though in the bath (every second day) while the conditioner is on with a brush with well spaced pins/sprongs eg denman volumising brush. Then let it dry naturally with some serum.

If she won't cooperate with that then you need to cut it off or at least much shorter. My daughter has very fine tangly hair (not curly though) and we found much easier to brush after a trim. My nephew has hair like you describe and he only has it brushed when wet in the bath as described above.

elephantjelly · 14/01/2011 10:54

Use a extra wide toothed comb

far to much conditioner

when combing the hair (now soaked with conditioner) hold the hair tightly in your hand in a bunch and start combing from the tips of the hair down and gradually work up the hair this way.

If you are really working through knots then don't put the comb deep into the hair but lightly skim over the top and the hair will work itself right.

I hope this has taught you not to Hate people for cutting their childs hair or any other pointless reasoning.

HettyAmaretti · 14/01/2011 10:55

Yes, get it cut. Today. No one will judge you, unless they are total fools.

It's too much stress and hassle for both of you. My friends DD is the cutest short curly hair, it looks lovely. Is about 2 1/2 or 3 inches all over and she uses a clip to pull the fringe to one side. It's plenty girly enough and keeps the hair out of her eyes.

Original poster
WimpleOfTheBallet · 14/01/2011 10:56

God.

I dread it....if I do it in the bath I then have to cope with her whirling round like washing in machine.

She wont be bribed...not by clips she hates them and is too sharp to fall for sweeties etc.

Im off to get beaten up now.

Sad
OP posts:
scoutliam · 14/01/2011 10:58

I hope this has taught you that posting for help can get you patronised by know-alls.

TheLemur · 14/01/2011 11:00

Do it when she's asleep?

HettyAmaretti · 14/01/2011 11:02

Seriously, if it's causing so much stress for you both, just get it cut. If you don't get out of this battle cycle you'll be at it for another 8 or 10 years. It's not worth it.

2 year olds love a good power struggle, as you may have noticed.

Mumbybumby · 14/01/2011 11:04

Ah, I feel your pain wimple!
Was considering starting a thread about this myself as DD constantly looks like a scarecrow because she hates having her hair brushed.

When it's all curly etc it looks lovely but most of the time it is a curly, matted mess. Good luck with your bath battle!
Oh and can anyone recommend a really good conditioner?

WildistheWind · 14/01/2011 11:06

DD7 was the same at that age and I kept it short-ish then, I've had my fair share of bruises too

I will echo what curlymama said- very important to work your way up

She likes it long and I use the wide tooth comb in the bath with loads of conditioner followed by an anti-frizz serum.

I french plait her hair on Monday and undo it on Friday- it's the easiest way and avoids fighting with her hair each morning before school.

I avoid drying with a bath towel, I use a t-shirt or plain cotton tea towel, it seems to reduce the frizziness. HTH

MrsTumbles · 14/01/2011 11:08

I took it in turns with my DD (now 2.4) playing 'Hairdressers'. It usually ended up with me having to spend half an hour detangling a comb from my own hair, but it was a way to keep her calm/preoccupied. After a few weeks she didn't seem to mind me brushing her hair as much and now even lets me put bobbles and slides in :)

WildistheWind · 14/01/2011 11:09

mumby I've been using these products for a while now and they are good.

DooinMeCleanin · 14/01/2011 11:09

We have a really good detangler that dd1 loves, More so than the tangle teezer. Iv can't remember the name but it's by Tigi Bed Head and it's in a purple bottle. It could be rock chick or something?

Also use an adult deep conditioner and plait it when she goes to bed to help prevent tangles. Otherwise yes, get it cut. This cannot be nice for either of you.

curlymama · 14/01/2011 11:11

Mumbly, I use cheap conditioner because I'd rather use lots of it more often, plus I can't afford expensive conditioner. When I have been given expensive stuff it doesn't do the job any better anyway. The dove one is good and the Elvive ones are good too, the ones for dry damged hair.

twopeople · 14/01/2011 11:12

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