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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that my Mum refuses to choose a Grandma name?

89 replies

Mirabelle77 · 13/01/2011 18:01

My ds has grandma and grandad on dh side and then my mums name and grandad seems wrong! She thinks being a grandma means she is old etc etc she is only 58 , I'm 33 not 16 so it's not like being a grandmother is a shock .

OP posts:
masochismTangoer · 13/01/2011 20:14

Mirabelle77
I'm 33 not 16 so it's not like being a grandmother is a shock .

DH was 30 and we had been married for few years and been together for over 10 - and had talk in front of IL about DC though not told them we were trying. Still was a huge shock to MIL- gussess it was not about logic.

DublinMammy · 13/01/2011 20:21

Masochism - ha ha ha, love it, you are v naughty. I do understand the issues about getting older but to try to get them to call her mummy or mamma is pretty weird.

Asteria · 13/01/2011 20:28

My mother is exactly the same - although I was 24 and she had a 5yr old (a "surprise" that popped out when she was 46!) at the time! My stepfather is also 9 years younger than her so she has real age issues. We went through a billion different suitable names - she even tried to get my DS to call her "Yummy" which I told her was RIDICULOUS! DS has staunchly stuck with Grandma!

DitaVonCheese · 13/01/2011 21:06

YABabitU. She can call herself what she wants. I have always called one of my grannies by her name, as does everyone else who knows her (incl other kids etc) and now my DD. Two of my other grandparents were known by nicknames rather than granny/grandpa etc. It can be just as affectionate and also means it's easy for eg my DH to know what to call them (would be a bit weird for him to call them granny).

whatdoiknowanyway · 13/01/2011 21:07

My grandmother was called Mother by everyone young and old. It was quite common where I come from.

IAmTheCookieMonster · 13/01/2011 21:12

just call her granny and she'll get used to it

bosch · 13/01/2011 21:38

Mirabelle77, I think it's ok for your mum not to want to be called grandma, but you need to ask her if you can agree/invent a special name for her for your ds to use. Some suggestions already here, or my friends children call one of their grandma's 'emmy', no idea where it comes from but might do the job for you too?

Original poster
Mirabelle77 · 14/01/2011 03:31

I'm thinking making a name up as in a baby talk one is going to sound a bit urgh when he is 18. Might just hope that ds calls her a normal one then she will have to accept his decision,

OP posts:
caramellokoalalover · 14/01/2011 14:41

My MIL was a bit tricky re names too. She was clear she didn't want to be called any of the conventional names but wouldn't/couldn't offer up any other options either. Similar to you DublinMammy.

In the end when it was getting tricky not to have a name to refer to her as in front of our DS my DH chose a name for her - Meemaa. We were watching a lot of The Wire at the time and that was what one of the characters called his grandmother.

We figured if she didn't like it she could offer up something else but it has stuck!

JBellingham · 14/01/2011 14:44

Tell her if she doesn't choose one you will teach him 'Codger' she will soon pick.

PinkElephant73 · 14/01/2011 16:20

JBellingham LOL

on the other hand, my MIL made a BIG fuss about being known by the grandkids by a certain name (which was what she had called her granny I think)and FIL also had a specially made up grand-dad name.

seemed completely and utterly daft for her to get so hung up on it, but there you go. my parents were/are Grandad and Granny, but we just kind of fell into that.

PinkElephant73 · 14/01/2011 16:21

Ps when my kids are talking to their friends, they dont use the specially made up grandparent names that MIL and FIL chose for them - as the kids' friends would have no idea who they were on about!

noonar · 14/01/2011 16:23

my mum wanted to be called by her christian name. dd1 started calling her nana, totally of her own accord! she got used to it.

julienoshoes · 14/01/2011 17:15

noonar
I didn't/won't get used to it I corrected it if ever anyone called me Grandma etc. and I will go on doing so.
I just say "not Grandma, just Julie thank you"

I don't answer to Grandma. I don't like it.

Julie is my name and that is what they call me now.
I call everyone else what they choose, I call my mother Mom, and my children call her Grandma as that is what she has chosen. I wouldn't dream of being disrespectful of her choice of names.

pranma · 14/01/2011 17:46

I am Grandma to my dgc and Granmouse to my dsgc.Being a grandparent is a privilege-it doesnt mean you are senile honestly some people are just daft.my dc used Grandma xxxxx as both liked that and the grandads did the same.I still think that if all else failed op could say.'go to Mumsmum darling'.

scubagoose · 14/01/2011 18:17

my mum became a grandma at 39 (my sister had her first at 21) I think it was understandable that she didnt want to be called Granny (this was a fair few years ago now).. Eventually Mimi stuck (she was getting my neice to come to her when she started crawling saying come on.. come to me.. come to mimi) all the kids call her Mimi now. she remarried 7 years ago and we call her hubby Tony.. the kids call him Toto.. coz it goes with Mimi..

mind you I call my "gran" Nanan (northern for Gran) and the kids call her Kissy Nanan

1944girl · 14/01/2011 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittywise · 14/01/2011 18:30

my kids decided what their grandparents were called.

lovinme · 14/01/2011 18:31

My mum was 40 when she became a Grandmother and she wanted to be called Grandma maybe your mum just needs to get used to the idea of being a grandmother.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 14/01/2011 18:37

My Mum was determined not to be any of the above, she chose a name that has no relation to being a grandparent, more of a nickname and my dad is Pops
It is a joke amongst the family and wider group of friends but it what she wanted so that is what they call her.

I have to say we giggled when my brother said he is going to teach his child to call herr grandma "nickname"

for all of the people who have said that they are called by their first names I find that strange, it is not like there is anything offensive WHATSOEVER by being identified as a mummy mum mother.

theevildead2 · 14/01/2011 18:41

That's stupid... Back in the day women were granny from a very young age really, when you think about it. It doesn't mean old at all. Being 18,19,20 and having kids wasn't unusal. So it's only very recently that grannies are considered old.

fruitful · 14/01/2011 18:41

Dd had a phase of calling my parents "Gaga" and "Grumpy" (she was 2, aiming for Grandma and Grandpa). Shame that didn't last, I enjoyed that. Grin

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 14/01/2011 18:42

theevildead2
you are totally right, in fact it is only in recent times when grannies GOT old if you think it isn't that long ago that people died routinely in their 60's

Gogopops · 14/01/2011 18:44

My mum is also nain (like guacamole's). My
MIL is Nanny Sue (she loves this and was a grandmother at 49) with DC's great-grandmother strangely called 'Nanny No Eyes'! Confused

theevildead2 · 14/01/2011 18:47

ByThePowerOfGreyskull

Morbid but factual! Grin

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