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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed that my Mum refuses to choose a Grandma name?

89 replies

Mirabelle77 · 13/01/2011 18:01

My ds has grandma and grandad on dh side and then my mums name and grandad seems wrong! She thinks being a grandma means she is old etc etc she is only 58 , I'm 33 not 16 so it's not like being a grandmother is a shock .

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 13/01/2011 18:41

I disagree with calling close family members by their first name, but the way you've written your posts julie, you come across as really lovely and make it easy to see how it just doesn't matter in the scheme of things

Ephiny · 13/01/2011 18:42

YABU, not everyone wants to be called by a cutesy nickname. I would want to be called by my proper name.

Flisspaps · 13/01/2011 18:43

At least she's not demanding to be called Special Nana Lainey Loo or whatever it was .

HelenaCC · 13/01/2011 18:43

How about Nonna (think it's Italian)? One of my friend's mums uses that because she didn't like conventional UK nana names.

It's up to you really, if you want your dc to have a special name for her then give her one (nana or nan is short enough to be easy).

YANBU :)

AvengingGerbil · 13/01/2011 18:45

What business does anyone have 'disagreeing' with how another family choose to refer to themselves?

We've always been a name not job-title family and should I ever be grandmothered I shall continue to be me and addressed as such.

But I wouldn't dream of 'disagreeing' with anyone who chooses to be known as gran, granny, nan, nanna, of the great green arkleseizure. Not my business.

Guacamole · 13/01/2011 18:47

Flisspaps LOL
I wonder what happened with that poster?

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 13/01/2011 18:50

Actually I've just remembered that my grandma DID want to be called "granny" apparently, but it never stuck. She is a great-GM now and gets called Granny [Name] which she loves :)

I think she is always referred to by name by my parents (e.g. "I went to see Jill") and so it just seems more normal that we all call her the same thing.

I don't think it's unreasonable of her to want to be called by her own name, or anything she likes. If someone insisted your DC call you "Mater" instead of mum you might be a little

AgentZigzag · 13/01/2011 19:18

AvengingGerbil, I can disagree with my children calling their close family members by their first names all I like.

What business is it of yours what my opinion of it is?

AuntiePickleBottom · 13/01/2011 19:27

can you come up with a special name, like grammie or naanny

tigitigi · 13/01/2011 19:28

i'm with Julie

I am a first name mother and called my parents by the first name. My husband is daddy,my family by names, DHs family are granny and grandad our kids cope fine. It is up to the person being called the name and not anyone else.

OP if your mother wants to be known by her name let her. Your child will love her all the same. Mine cottoned on to the way it worked so young - as soon as they could speak they would say Grandad and xxx are my grandads etc

electricslide · 13/01/2011 19:30

My mum was all set to be granny but DD used her real name as soon as she could speak, probably as that was what she was hearing everyone else call her! Mum likes it; she likes to think she's young and with it (she's 73).

Horton · 13/01/2011 19:32

I agree, it doesn't matter. My mother is known by her name and so is my dad. I called my own grandparents by their names, too. On DH's side, it's grandma and grandad all the way. Doesn't make any difference to the relationship or the love they will have for each other.

My four year old calls me Mummy and my name interchangeably. DH's family think it is a scandal and mine think it is sweet and funny. It really doesn't matter a bit. I'm still her mother and she is still my daughter, whatever we call each other.

DublinMammy · 13/01/2011 19:37

So tiresome - my MIL didn't want to be Granny/Grandma/Gran or anything like that but wouldn't/couldn't say what she DID want to be called. Eventually (when my son was 18 months old) I told her if she didn't pick a name then he just wouldn't know who she was. She is now Grandma and happy with it. Or at least I am.....

Failing that I think Cupcakes has it right - call her Ninny.

ALongDecember · 13/01/2011 19:40

Can't get worse than my step in laws (who we barely see so doesn't matter so much thank God) who insist they are called 'supergran' and '>>> name of his own business>> -Grandad'

Muira · 13/01/2011 19:42

Special Nanny Lainey Loo! Ha ha I loved that thread.

GoldFrakkincenseAndMyrrh · 13/01/2011 19:42

Ha. I have this on both sides. They have completely free choice as separate languages but neither will flipping pick. I want them to so I can start talking to bump about them but they're having sone kind of naming crisis.

Quite relieved it seems to be normal.

MadamDeathstare · 13/01/2011 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eglu · 13/01/2011 19:47

My DSes call their Grandmas Gran First name. It just evolved naturally. My MUm really like that. I think she sees it as slightly less formal and younger.

I think you just start saying go to GRandma, adn tough if she doesn't like it, because that is what she is

masochismTangoer · 13/01/2011 19:53

Could be worse - my MIL thought she was 'too young' she tried to be mamma or if she thought I was not listening mummy - what DC call me.

Wound me up a lot - I just kept correcting them, MIL, FIL any of their friends and occasionally DH, to Grandma every single time. Later I had to correct two eldest DC who she tried coaching/teaching to refer to her as mamma. It seems to have worked for the moment and MIL has in intervening years accepted her ?grandmother hood? alot more.

Catnao · 13/01/2011 19:54

My son calls my mum and dad Granny and Grandad, my partner's parents Nana X and Papa X (their choice), me Mum...and his dad by his first name!?!?!

Have no idea why this is the case - he's always done it, they are very close, and he refers to "my dad" when talking about his father - just first name to his face.

We are used to it, but strangers often ask if partner is his bio dad...

julienoshoes · 13/01/2011 19:54

Each to their own, but I don't understand the problem.
Would you call a friend by Mrs Surname if she has said please call me by my first name?

If my children say "go to Grandma" I'll say "Not not Grandma, just Julie please"
It isn't a problem unless you make it one.

Which has just remeinded me....on Grandparents Day I got a home made "Just Julie" card

DublinMammy · 13/01/2011 19:55

Holy crazy grandmother Masochism - that's mental!!! Get them to call her Gaga.

JoInScotland · 13/01/2011 19:56

My partner's dad doesn't like to be called Grandpa because he says it makes him feel old. He is 73.

Therefore, partner's sisters two young sons call him Pops, at his request. Only trouble is, I came into this relationship with my partner with a cat named Poppy and she is sometimes called Pops. I am not looking forward to explaining to DS why his Grandpa is named after the cat.

LoopyLoopsIsNoLongerFestive · 13/01/2011 20:04

My mum is called "Nana 1st name".

masochismTangoer · 13/01/2011 20:10

DublinMammy
Holy crazy grandmother Masochism - that's mental!!! Get them to call her Gaga.

Did get naughty at one stage and do passive aggressive - 'isn't grandma silly? and once ?old people like grandma often get confused? . I should probably have been more understanding ? as it was MIL issues about getting older but felt threatened as a new mum by it - now DC automatically do correcting themselves.

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