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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Be honest - AIBU to feel fat.

20 replies

justcarrots29 · 13/01/2011 13:21

Ok well - I am a size 14 on top a 16 on the bottom. I am 5ft 6 inches and weigh 12.5. I feel fat. Some people swear blind 'you are not fat at all' and other make horrible comments on the sly etc. I am healthy eating now and intend to lose 2 stone (already lost 2st 7lbs). I was feeling good that I had lost but am upset to still feel fat and have a long way to go. I hate walking into a room at the moment and loathe mirrors, sex and nice clothes. Argh.
Dont feel bad for saying that I am fat - because it will give me the incentive to keep going!!

OP posts:
ScotlandR · 13/01/2011 13:25

"I loathe mirrors, sex and nice clothes"

This is nothing to do with your weight and size.

See a councillor.

mutznutz · 13/01/2011 13:25

I don't think you should be looking for the incentive to keep going from people saying they think you're fat.

Do you have any other incentives? A holiday coming up to show the 'new look you' off? Or an outfit you're looking forward to wearing perhaps?

fedupofnamechanging · 13/01/2011 13:27

I think you should feel proud of yourself. It's not easy to lose weight and you are doing very well.

Fwiw, I wouldn't describe you as fat.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 13/01/2011 13:27

You are not fat at all. Well done on your 2st 7lb loss. I am 5ft 8in and weigh 12st and a size 14 so we arent hugely different. I fall into the normal BMI category.

As long as you are healthy and you look after yourself who cares. :)

KirstyAllsoap · 13/01/2011 13:29

Blimey you're being really hard on yourself.

You've done really well to loose so much already, keep at it until you feel happy with your weight.

If you looked at the BMI charts then yes, you would be classed as overweight, but I think to an extent it depends on your frame. I think 10-10.5 stone sounds like a sensible goal for your height

sparkle12mar08 · 13/01/2011 13:30

We're almost exactly the same, except I'm three inches shorter than you. Yes we're fat. The question is what are we doing about it? You are taking action and making fantastic progress. That's what matters, nothing else.

As for those who are making sly comments - ask yourself a genuine question - do you really need them in your life, and what is stopping you from telling them to fuck off? Really? You do not need these people, get rid.

Original poster
justcarrots29 · 13/01/2011 13:31

Ok - thanks everyone - I have not incentives yet except that I may possibly have some extra money in April and could buy some new clothes. Have been putting it off for so long as want to but 12 and 14's. Everyone I know is a size 12/10/8 and so feel awfully out of place. Sex is great until I have a mental image of what I must look like and it makes me feel sick.
I need to get a grip that's for sure but I am fed up of thinking..oh shouldn't eat that, and can't do that! Just wish someone could suck the fat out of me!

OP posts:
Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 13/01/2011 13:32

Change your friends, will be easier and you can still eat cake.

NeedToSleepZZZ · 13/01/2011 13:32

Have you looked at your BMI and waist measurement? These are good ways for you to tell if you need to lose weight if you're having difficulty in knowing yourself. It sounds to me like you have an issue with self confidence though which is horrible and I understand that. I needed people to tell me to put weight on a few years ago as I honestly couldn't see it.

Have a look at the NHS website, they have some great tools to help you keep track of your weight so that you feel in control and don't need the reassurance of others.

Really hope that didn't sound harsh, I do understand and wish you luck!

Original poster
justcarrots29 · 13/01/2011 13:33

It has only been since I had children. I was a 12-14 before that. I have gone from an hour glass to pear and I cannot stand it!! Also, my arms are fat - where the hell did that come from??? Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
justcarrots29 · 13/01/2011 13:34

My BMI is in the overweight section. Need to lose atleast 1st 3 lbs to be back in the game!

OP posts:
Asteria · 13/01/2011 13:35

how about turning it around and telling yourself that you are thin/slim/beautiful (note the present tense there - not will be...) and being more positive about yourself? I'm only a couple of inches taller than you and weighed a stone more (after a year on horrid prescribed drugs) a few months ago - I read a book called "you can heal your life" which has totally changed my outlook on everything, including my weight. I'm by no means stick thin, but I am now very happy about my body and everyone compliments me on how good I look - when truth be told the only drammatic difference has been my attitude!
Hang on in there - you have done so well to get as far as you have - and you are now below the national average so stop beating yourself up xx

Pixie83 · 13/01/2011 13:40

You're not fat but as you say, you are technically 'overweight'.

From a looks point of view i would say you are being hard on yourself, but from a health point of view, there's nothing wrong (and a lot right) with wanting to be a 'healthy' weight.

But for gawd sakes give yourself a pat on the back for the weight you've lost so far and start being nice to yourself.

Asteria · 13/01/2011 13:43

Kirsty - if I went for a weight/height ratio I would have to lose 3 stone! It is very difficult to go off a chart when it comes to things like weight as everyone is built differently.
One of my closest friends is the same height as me but has a birdlike frame and only weighs 8.5 stone, but is incredibly healthy - when I was that weight I had an eating disorder and had barely eaten in a year! According to the charts I should be about 10/10.5 stone, but my body naturally rests (with healthy eating and good exercise) at 11.5 - at which point I'm a size 10-12.

mommmmyof2 · 13/01/2011 13:47

I feel fat most of the time really, it is not nice to feel like that.You are doing well and you need to loose the weight for yourself not for anyone else, if people make sly comments then they have nothing better to do.
If you want to loose more then great and good luck you will get there, if not then DON'T! don't put so much pressure on yourself you will make yourself ill.

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 13/01/2011 13:49

It's all relative and down to how you feel really.

I am 5'10" and just over 11.5 stone and I feel like a whale.

Original poster
justcarrots29 · 13/01/2011 13:55

It is strange isn't it because I would not look at someone else at a size 14/16 and think 'FAT'. I almost want people to have a go at me - call me disgusting, lazy and fat to give me more incentive to keep going. I dread seeing old friends etc. I always think they are thinking 'what the Hell happened to her'!
Although, I am sure I am not alone. So many people are sensitive about their weight etc

OP posts:
mommmmyof2 · 13/01/2011 14:14

The majority of women put weight on and alot of us go through stages of feeling fat, or feel that something else is wrong with them.If I don't feel fat then I will always find something else I don't like.
We are all human and just can't help feeling low about ourselves sometimes, you are right you are not one on your own Wink

Cyb · 13/01/2011 14:19

you have to do it for yourself, rather than wanting people to point it out for you

How can you maintain it otherwise?

Be kind to yourself-eat good food, not crap. Exercise your body, thats what its for.

sue52 · 13/01/2011 14:22

You are not fat, you are well on the way to being trim and healthy. You have lost a lot of weight and should feel proud. Stop putting yourself down.

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