To think the registrar should mind her own business?

[DaraMahini]

Registered my daughter's bith this morning. As you know, my husband passed away 4 months ago. I was on my own.

1. The registrar commented that my daughter looks older than 6 weeks (she's 4 weeks)

1. She asked about the dad. I explained. She said "There isn't much point putting his name on the birth certificate" I almost burst into tears. He is still the father, whether he is here or not :(

1. She commented on my daughters name. Her name is Adanna Benita. The stupid woman commented on "all these foreign names" she comes across. Adanna is african for "fathers daughter" My husbands name was BEN, hence BENita. Benita is spanish and means BLESSED. My mother's family originate from Africa, my father's from Spain (and I'm French!). The name is PERFECT for my little girl.

1. I commented on my way out that I didn't like her attitude. She said "I'm just doing my job"... wow.

AIBU??

I would be careful about posting your daughter's name on the internet tbh.

I'm so sorry for your loss, it must be avery hard for you.

I think she was incredibly rude and insensitive and I'd consider complaining, especially about the comment about her father.

YANBU, that's shocking. I would have to complain to someone (not sure who though).

Sorry for the loss of your husband.

Honestly, I would write a letter complaining. YANBU

So sorry to hear about your husband. Did you get her to put his name on in the end? Agree with you that there is a point, for his living daughter.

And I love her name. I love that it has so much history, thought and love in it.

Congratulations on your little girl.

NO pint in writing the Father's name on the birth ceritificate? Are you SURE she said that?

What a cow!! Can I just check, she did 100% definitely know the situation? I can't believe anyone would be so rude. Yes, you should definitely complain, so sorry you had to go through that.
How are you getting on? Do you have support from others.
(i love the name BTW, your explanation has brought tears to my eyes)

point

Yanbu

I'd make a formal complaint

Thats incredibly insensitive of her. :(

And its a lovely name. :)

She was mean to you. It must have been a difficult thing to do without your DH. YANBU.

Loads of mners post their children's names here, Thingumy, that was an insensitive reply imo.

yanbu

Her job is to enter the data - not make little comments.

Oh Dara, how sad for you, and what an utter cow the registrar sounds.

Not much point putting her father's name down? How crass can anyone be.

Complain in writing to the chief registrar.

Adanna is a lovely name, and I wish you both all the best.

Oh honey, how bloody rude was that woman? Needlessly so!

She is a public servant. her job is to record the registration of babies in the area.

No more than this.

I am astonished at the Father's name on the certificate comment. I am appalled to be honest.

I LOVE the names, and the meanings of them are just beautiful. Brought a tear to my eye tbh.

I honestly think you need to complain about this. She really did overstep her mark and to say I'm just doing my job, is utter bolleaux tbh.

Doing her job doesn't require her opinion on your DD certificate, nor on her name.

Complain. Loudly to the most senior person you can find.

I think she has shown appalling behaviour and I would definitely write a letter of complaint. I am so angry for you.

I think the 4 weeks 6 weeks thing is just one off those nonsense chit chat things, try not to take that on board, it really doesnt matter... the birth certificate was in front of the silly old bint for crying out loud !

Your daughters name sounds lovely and obviously has special connotations to you. Nothing to do whatsoever with the silly mare

I think you are a very strong person to challenge her on your way up, I probably wouldnt have thought of it ... follow it up in writing too.

If nothing else "all these foreign names"-wtf?

Not much point?????

I would complain.

She sounds like a total cow.

Lovely name and I really hope your DH's name is on the birth certificate.

If you feel strong enough you should definitely complain.

YANBU
Definitely complain you should not have had to put up with such a grossly insensitive idiot and her ignorant thoughtless comments.
Still you have chosen a beautiful name which I'm sure your daughter will truly appreciate as she grows up.

All those foreign names. FFS
I would definitely be complaining. Loudly and as soon as I felt able.
Condolences on the loss of your DH but congrats on your DD

It was always going to be an emotional thing to have to do on your own but her attitude and comments have made it so much worse for you.

Please complain to the Chief Registrar and cc your letter to the Chief Exec of your council. The "all these foreign names" is particularly nasty and anyway we have always used foriegn names, what about Clare?

I too think that your DDs name is beautiful and perfect for her

Please complain, she'd have got punched on the nose around here, but then i don't suppose she makes nasty comments to the ones who look like they can stand up for themselves.

I'm so sorry for your loss and agree it must have been very hard to have done that. I really do think you should complain in writing.
I wish I had when I went to register my son. His fathers family are from Sri Lanka and my son has a very long first name that he is not known by, it's just traditional. The register said "Why are you calling him that? You're not in Sri Lanka now you know". I told her I could call my son "Sue" if I wanted to, it's none of her business, she just has to write down whatever the hell I tell her to, not comment on it.
I wish I had followed it up in writing.
To have been so nasty about your late husband is frankly something her boss needs to know about. Very poor and shocking.
I also adore your daughters name too.

Wow. I am gobsmacked that she said that - especially number 2.

I do think a complaint - polite but firm - is in order, if only to help prevent her from saying something equally insensitive to someone else.

YANBU.

Sorry to hear about your husband. The name is lovely. The registrar was extremely insensitive. Make a complaint.

Agree that YADefinitelyNBU. You poor thing, you've been through enough and should be surrounded by support and care.

If you have the energy you should make a formal complaint, or get a good friend or relative to do it for you. How insenstiive. I love the names you've chosen by the way, really very beautiful. Good luck.