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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my brother have his son stay for the weekend?

23 replies

Coffeebeans · 13/01/2011 07:24

Dn has a bad chest infection & has been on antibiotics for 3 days. My 8mo ds is getting over a shitty cold. Am I being too pfb?

OP posts:
GColdtimer · 13/01/2011 07:28

I think you could be a bit. What are the circumstances?

LIZS · 13/01/2011 07:28

It is up to you but a chest infection is unlikely to be catching esp when treated with ab's.

Original poster
Coffeebeans · 13/01/2011 07:32

oh right, if its not catching then he's more than welcome to stay. thanks!

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Original poster
Coffeebeans · 13/01/2011 07:47

well, whats happened it I was on fb (i know) & Dn's mum wrote on there that's she's worried it'll turn into bronchitis again. So i text my brother to let him know that he might be too poorly to stay this weekend & I don't want ds catching it. He replied, "no he's coming". which I thought was a bit selfish! My brother is staying with me until he sorts himself out after a recent break up.
So naturally I was worrying about ds because it was a nasty cold with nasty gacky eyes.

OP posts:
Original poster
Coffeebeans · 13/01/2011 07:47

well, whats happened it I was on fb (i know) & Dn's mum wrote on there that's she's worried it'll turn into bronchitis again. So i text my brother to let him know that he might be too poorly to stay this weekend & I don't want ds catching it. He replied, "no he's coming". which I thought was a bit selfish! My brother is staying with me until he sorts himself out after a recent break up.
So naturally I was worrying about ds because it was a nasty cold with nasty gacky eyes.

OP posts:
Original poster
Coffeebeans · 13/01/2011 07:49

I wish my phone would stop posting things twice!

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Original poster
Coffeebeans · 13/01/2011 07:49

I wish my phone would stop posting things twice!

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Original poster
Coffeebeans · 13/01/2011 07:49

I wish my phone would stop posting things twice!

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FakePlasticTrees · 13/01/2011 08:04

So your DB is staying at your house, and has told you you don't get a choice in who stays in your own home? That would annoy me.

I'd tell him that if your DN isn't infectious, then of course he's welcome in your home, otherwise your DB will have to make other arrangements as to where he sees him. What those other arrangements are, is not your problem. (But I'm sure there's hotels near you, other family?)

Remember, you are doing him a favour, you are under no obligation to put a roof over your brother's head.

ENormaSnob · 13/01/2011 08:07

What FPT said.

IAPJJLPJ · 13/01/2011 08:13

agree with Fake Plastic Trees. I would also be reminding him whose house it is, that he is a guest and not to get over familiar with what he thinks he can demand or he will be looking for somewhere else to live.

I read on here to often about family members having the mickey taken by guests

saffy85 · 13/01/2011 08:13

Unless your DS is completely over his stinking cold he could easily infect your nephew and as he has a nasty chest infection already it could make things worse for him. Maybe point this out to your brother.

Plumm · 13/01/2011 08:46

I wouldn't let him stay, especially after the comment from your brother.

Sirzy · 13/01/2011 08:50

Chest infections can be contagious, I would want to be 100% sure he wasn't contagious before I let him stay

aPixieInMyCaramelLatte · 13/01/2011 08:55

Really? You won't let your brother see your nephew in your house becuause he has a chest infection being treated by anti-bots?

And you are resenting the fact he is adamant he's coming. Your brother may be staying in your house but this isn't some random woman hes bringing back, it's his son ffs.

Sorry I'm going to go against the grain and say you are being unreasonable and a bit PFB.

hidingmytrueidentity · 13/01/2011 08:59

I think that you are being totally unreasonable.

When you agreed to have your brother to stay you knew that he had a child whom would visit.

Children get Ill- it happens. If yours were Ill would them out of the home so that didn't catch it - of course not.

We need to get I'll from time to time- it creates immunity.

You are playing god with peoples lives- that's not reasonable.

Imagine I was to say that you couldn't see your child this week- you would be ranting on here about how unfair live is.

You took your brother in- that includes taking his life and sick children are part of that life.

LittleMissHissyFit · 13/01/2011 09:08

Actually, the comment that said OPs baby's cold could hamper DN recovery could have a point!

If the boy's mum is worried that it could turn into bronchitis the lad coming into contact with another cold could tip him over the edge.

There is no point in putting any child at risk just because it's been arranged for this weekend. It can be re-arranged.

One of my friends baby has just spent a week in hospital from a cold that turned nasty.

The brother could go and see his son at the boy's home couldn't he?

maryz · 13/01/2011 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Coffeebeans · 13/01/2011 17:13

Yes, I was quite riled about my brothers reply. he can be a bit controlling. He split from the childs mother a long time ago, so I doubt very much she's exaggerating. She'd be lying to a lot of mutual friends.
of course i accept my brothers got a child, I took him in because no one else would. I love my family dearly. But my son comes first before anybody else. If thats pfb or unreasonable, than thats tough! My brother came to my home knowing that.

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Original poster
Coffeebeans · 13/01/2011 17:13

Yes, I was quite riled about my brothers reply. he can be a bit controlling. He split from the childs mother a long time ago, so I doubt very much she's exaggerating. She'd be lying to a lot of mutual friends.
of course i accept my brothers got a child, I took him in because no one else would. I love my family dearly. But my son comes first before anybody else. If thats pfb or unreasonable, than thats tough! My brother came to my home knowing that.

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ChippingIn · 13/01/2011 17:20

I think it would be better for both children to be kept apart to reduce any risk of either of them getting worse.

It is your house - make sure your brother is made aware of that fact - if he doesn't like it he can go and stay elsewhere. Checky fucker telling you what will be happening in your home.

Surely he can still see his son this weekend without bringing him into your home - he could even book at £9 night in a travel lodge and make it a bit of an adventure.

Sirzy · 13/01/2011 18:19

I also think that surely there own home is the best place for a poorly child? I wouldn't like to have to go and stay elsewhere when I was ill

Original poster
Coffeebeans · 14/01/2011 05:34

thats what i thought sirzy. if he does turn up i'll tell my brother to keep him in his room. I didn't get a chance to talk to him last night, I was asleep when he got in. I don't want to fall out with him, just don't want to have to piss taken. I'll deal with him calmly. :) It's good talking about it on here! Helps to put things into perspective. many thanks to you all!

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