To be terrified of registering with GP

[theratpack]

Sorry this is REALLY long:
during booking visit i ticked the box history of mental health problems ( as do 1 in 4 of us at some point in our lives). I naively believed it wouldn't be a problem, and if i needed support i would get kind, compassionate support.

Later i find out that after spending 10 mins with useless midwife at booking visit, she has activated a child protection alert. Suffered LOTS of horrible experiences due to alert ( one incident involved midwife after birth of dd thinking my child was to to be taken into care).

Was placed under extreme scrutiny for months. Because of my own detective work i find out about the alert. Fast forward almost a year, after writing to the trust for answers, they have admitted that the alert should NEVER have been added. The midwife who did so has been given extra training etc. They have apologised, but two midwives that treated me APPALLINGLY after birth of DD are denying their mistakes. One nurse inparticulr is either very unwell or down right NASTY ( think the latter)she is completely denying treating me the way she did.

The trust have, since my complaint, dug deep to find out all they can to justify many ways in which i was treated, such as, saying because i was abused as a child then that will affect my ability to parent my child etc etc. This has all being added to my GP records.

My dh and i have almost been torn apart by all this. Cannot afford a solicitor.

We have since moved out of the area completely but i am now terrified of registering with a GP and having any contact what so ever with a health visitor. I have lost all faith. I have nothing to hide but am sooo frightened and really traumatised.

It seems that as a criminal you are Innocent until proven guilty but as a mother you are guilty until proven innocent.

Thankyou if you got this far. Sorry for bad grammar etc hard to concentrate with dd.

Hope it makes sense.

That's a dreadful story. No wonder you're worried about opening a new can of worms. However you do need a GP and you have to find a way round this. I think you should make an appointment to see the practice manager and explain your experiences and concerns before you register. Then you can see what sort of reception you get before you decide to register with that particular surgery.

I think you were very unlucky to have gone through that in the first place so your experience is unlikely to be repeated.

Oh my god that's terrible. I had mental health issues which I would have put on the form (nothing dramatic, depression and anxiety) but hardly anything was said about it. You have been treated really badly.

What was it that the nasty midwife did?

What the trust say about your abuse making you a risk to your own children is bollocks. I really want you to be able to so something about that but I dont know what!

dont join a gp. use one of those clinics where you dont have to register or give any details.

Do you not have insurance that includes legal aid? there are some charities and solicitors who do work for free in this area and I would suggest you contact them for more help

I don't think it's a great idea to tell her not to register with a gp, She can't do that for the rest of her life. A dtop in clinic don't know your whole history so wouldn't be as helpful for OP if she started becoming unwell. Also her children will need to be registered.

I feel like a rabbit caught in headlights TBH.
I'm frightened if i have a meeting then everything i say is down to his interpretation and impression. I didn't realise there was SO MUCH discrimination in our society ( especially by people in power) and i am in no way overly naive.

I posted when pregnant about the nasty nurse and was accused of being a troll so didn't post again for months!!

She told me i would be tranquilised if showed signs of stress in labour, told me my daughter would be taken into care if i ws unwell after the birth and all in a threatening, bulling tone. Thing is she has denied it in the trust response to my complaint but there was one witness to her comments who was another nurse.

NM; Can you recommend any solicitors? have tried charities but all underfunded and overworked tbh.

Sorry to hear you were accused of being a troll. I haven't been on here long but have noticed that it goes on A LOT. Some people seem to think it is their right to judge whether or not a post sounds "true" to them. Have seem them saying it must be a troll if the OP has used a certain word or written in a certain tone . . . what the f*ck? It really annoys me actually. I think it gives the troll hunters some sort of power trip, really very sad actually.

Do you mind if I ask what your Mental Health issues were? Can't imagine what they could be to make a nurse react like that? She sounds insane!

Oh my god, how absolutely awful for you, it's disgusing that they've treated you like this :(

My mum has mental health issues (bipolar) and actually had an episode just after I was born, which led to her being hospitalised and me with her, and even through all that there was no mention of me being taken into care - that's hideous that you were threatened with that, I'm so angry for you!!

I think Al1son's suggestion is a good one, make an appointment with the practice manager to explain the background before you register, also because you need a GP with experience of your illness, not one who's going to treat you like this.

What a terrible time you've had, so sorry you've been through this.

Have you contacted MIND (nationally, not locally)? I wonder if they might be able to help at all.

Good luck.

I think you should register. What happened to you was a terrible mistake. Don't let it prevent you getting healthcare for yourself and most importantly for your DD. If you feel you are under any sort of scrutiny here you will reassure them that your daughter is being well cared for. It is understandable you are anxious but your past experience with the midwife was not normal. I have a history of a 'serious and enduring' mental health problem. I was always treated supportively throughout my pregancy and by health visitors etc. My friends with mental health problems say the same thing. Try to move forward, away from that trauma. Gather up some strength and just do it.

Are you sure this is on your GP record? (As opposed to the records held by the trust).

You should be registered with a GP, I'm not aware that you're obliged to have any contact with the health visitors?

What a terrible experience for you, truly dreadful.

Thankyou so much! It does seem like what ive experianced is not the norm thankfully. I did get it touch with MIND and got the impression that they dont really want to deal with anything that involves children. I am so on my own with this. Its not the sort of thing you mention at the local baby group.

I am desperate to sue them! they have changed our lives forever and completly traumatised me. I am certain i can prove disability discrimination and breac of human rights.

I DO need to take a deep breath and just do it! We did go and register dd and i had a panic attack and ended up arguing with dh

I keep looking at my registration form and it fills me with genuine fear. I think asking for a meeting with the practice manager is a good idea.

Also thinking of reporting the nurse to the nursing and midwifery council as she is dangerous and really shoulnt be allowed to work with pregnant women. If she had done to a more vulnerable woman what she did to me, then i dread to think what would happen.

OMG! I'm so sorry a similar happened to you too!

Is it possible to de register? I admire the way you have done things. It seems that, that also may be my only option.

Please do register with a GP, its important that you're able to access medical care if you or your DD need it. Its very unusual for a medical professional to act the way you say the midwife/nurse did after you gave birth and very wrong of them. I can understand why you want to sue but to be honest I'd advise against it as I don't think you'd get anywhere. It would be your word against hers and no court would find in your favour in that situation. So unless you've taped her saying this stuff there's no chance. Try and put it behind you and move forward, enjoy being a mum and concentrate on your DD.

I don't think not being registered with a GP means that you don't have access to medical care if you need it does it? Are you near a walk in clinic?

Yes but you're probably not going to get the same level of continuity of care.

I don't know, maybe some walk in clinics are different - round here they treat people at weekends and if you're unable to get in to see your GP and its something urgent. They wouldn't see you for something routine/non urgent, ie; smear tests, or if you wanted a referral for anything, or chronic pain, etc.

grrrrrrrr i dont know what to bloody do!

I am really upset the impact this has had on our lives. The reality is things will never be the same. I have considered changing our name, creating a forged birth cert for dd, etc etc. I may be hard for people to imagine ,but when someone threatens to take your child from you for no logical reason then you do ANYTHING to protect your amily.

Its hard to explain the full extent of what happened on a chat forum but please believe me that my actions are in proportion to the experience.

I should be able to just go to the GP or HV say, look this is what happened, i have nothing to hide, come and see me when ever or i will come to you whenever etc. But i no longer trust there judgement. When i met with my old GP she put on my notes patient losing weight but she didn't add that i was breastfeeding on demand and had a new baby. iyswim. What happens if a hv comes round and our house is abit untidy or I'm still in pyjamas?? does that get written down?? i no longer believe that they do the right thing.

I'm wittering on now, apologies.

When you register it takes some time for your full paper notes to arrive at your new surgery (can be 3 months if not chased in some cases). Depending on set-up your electronic record may arrive immediately but a practice always waits for the paper notes/letters etc to arrive to fully "summarise" your health records onto their system.

I suggest you register and book an appt with you new GP to explain your concerns, so he can meet YOU before he meets your record iyswim?

Alternatively, you can request a copy of your history from your present practice. Anything you disagree with could be amended/noted before you re-register, so the "sanitised" notes only are sent.

If your chldren have been on the CPR then that WILL stay on their records, but also show the date they were removed. It will not affect their care, and only "flag" if they are still on the register.

Hope that helps :)

Could you afford private care?

If you could maybe register your child and dh but attend a walk in centre for any minor complaints like cystitis and see a pivate dr for more serious problemns

(no shame in not being able to afford it btw, i know i couldnt)

Thankyou. As far as i know dd has never been on CPR. There was a child protection alert added to my EPR. that has been removed as previously mentioned.None of the correct procudures where followed when issuing the alert or flag, which leaves me wondering what else have they done without my knowlege??!!

Such a mess

Can dd just register and not me???

I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience.

I absolutely would not advise leaving the NHS altogether - the fact is that private healthcare does not give you the best quality of care, because they are trying to make a profit from you.

I understand completely your anxiety about re-registering. My suggestion would be that unless you have something you NEED to keep on your records (a long-term or recurring illness), then register afresh with your new GP. Decline to give details of your previous GP surgery and address, and perhaps change your name slightly - use your maiden name rather than your married name, or double barrel them. The NHS will create you a new file, and this horrible incident will be erased and never linked to you.

Strongly recommend that you not falsify birth certs for DC though - it is fraud, even if you don't ever take it outside of the house, and it's not going to help your cause of "I'm a normal parent!".

I definitely would recommend you tell your new GP or practice manager that you have had an upsetting experience, and express your concerns

VivaLe Beaver I think you've just summed up why theratpack would want to deregister: "It would be your word against hers and no court would find in your favour in that situation. So unless you've taped her saying this stuff there's no chance."

So when a new GP sees the file, s/he may react the same. And I continuity of that sort of care is precisely what theratpack is desperate to avoid!

Healthcare professionals are ordinary mortals who make ordinary mistakes and misjudgements, and there's the ordinary proportion of numpties. So you'd have thought there'd be robust procedure for correcting those mistakes in the records, but no. As soon as the HCP plays the mental health card, the subject of the record can't even see chunks of the record, and will certainly never be believed when challenging it.

I know that, as outcomes of medical errors go, experiences like this aren't up there with death, but nonetheless they have a significant psychological impact and then a significant physical impact when people start avoiding healthcare. (I'm in a not dissimilar situation, tho nothing like as bad.)