Husband Off for a Night of Clubbing Without me

[KPee]

A bit of background....

DH and I have the same set of friends and generally go out together - almost always infact - with the occassional weekend/nightout away without each other. (writing it down makes is sound claustrophobic, but we've been together 12 years so.....) Anyway, I get an email from him yesterday saying that a friend of his has got in touch about 'that' weekend away. I got excited thinking we were off to somewhere new and emailed him as such and I got nothing back. When I got home I talked about potnential arrangments for dog care to which I got a laughing' oh no, it's just me and ...." (insert names of his mates). He said he told me about this on an evening out a few weeks ago - which I don't remember at all but I was fairly drunk - but he's said nothing since.

Am I being unreasonable to feel
a bit hurt that I'm not invited as it sounds like a great night out (with mutual friends) and I have to stay at home? I also feel like he's been a little sly in the way he's approached it.

I can't think of anything worse than never going out with the girls on my own
why don't you organise a girls night out?

Why haven't you been invited? Can't you go anyway if they're mutual friends?

Is he just going away with male friends or will there be couples going?

He wants a blokey night out. It's no biggie and it's quite healthy for be apart. Organise your own fun weekend.

Are the friends all men? If so I would leave them to it, but if not then I would question why I wasn't invited.

Is it just the males out of your group of mutual friends that are going then? If so then YABU - sorry.

Nights out with everyone 'together' are great, but so are boys nights out and girls nights out, in a different way. On a girl's night out we can shamelessly eye up men, moan about our own and talk non stop about 'girls stuff'. I'm sure men do pretty much their own equivalent of them same thing on their nights out.

So I would put up and if you really don't want to be at home, arrange a girls night out (in a different place!)

If all the friends (women included) are going, then yes it's very wierd and I would want to know why I was being left out!

A weekend away with just the boys - sounds like a laugh if they are all the sort that are generally trustworthy, however, if it's a mixed group and your usual social group then there would be a BigQuestion over why I wasn't wanted invited.

If the friends are all male and they've planned a lads night then YABU. If there are couples then he is BU

As much as I like a night out with DH, I don't think it's healthy to never go out seperately, in fact I prefer big girlie nights out lol!
Tell him that's fine, go and then get on planning YOUR girlie night out for after he gets back!
I seriously would, go have a girlie night out.

It's great that you two enjoy socialising so much together. But I think it is healthy to have "outside " friends too.
Forgive me for this,but it almost seems as though he has had to organise this a certain way just to get a night out without you! And that should not be happening.
I love my DH going out with his pals. They are my friends too,but he needs space away from "home life" sometimes. That is my time to watch girlie rubbish TV and have control of the remote for once .
I think you need to relax about this one,and maybe loosen the reigns. Sorry. YABU.

Can't stand couples who do everything together

I'm the same as you OP, DH and I only really go out together as we have the same group of mixed male & female friends plus really enjoy each others company on a night out. I would be hurt and upset by this and wonder why I couldn't have been invited along too - because the way DH and I socialise.

compo - why not? Horses for courses....

So he can't even have a lads night out now? Thank fuck I'm not married if this is the norm. Why can't you go out with your own friends

You say you have "the occassional weekend/nightout away without each other" - this is one of them.

What's the problem?

LeQueen & Adversecamber - What is odd and suspicious about couples who only go out together, what do you suspect them of? Most of our mates are couples and it's just the norm for us

Agree with compo and spikeycow and LeQueen.

Let the poor bugger have a night out with the lads. Me and DH have our own sets of friends as well as mutual ones. We even have whole weekends away without each other. Last year I had a week in France without him too.

I met a lot of women on a course I did recently who only ever go on girl's nights out while their partners only ever go on lad's nights out & I admit found this pretty strange! It's just a different way of socialising I guess.

If they're all blokes then it sounds like a lads thing in which case yadbu but if other partners are going then I would agree that it's not nice you have been left out.

I think you both need to make the effort to find your own friends somewhere that are separate from each other and make nights out with your own friends, without each other, more the 'norm' rather than a one off/occasional thing.

Much more healthier for a relationship in my opinion.

I think yabu.

I think going out together most of the time or going out separately most of the time can both work depending on the relationship. I don't think one is 'healthier' in relationship terms than the other, different arrangements suit different people, but the odd night doing something different from the norm is nothing to get upset about.