Husband Off for a Night of Clubbing Without me

[KPee]

A bit of background....

DH and I have the same set of friends and generally go out together - almost always infact - with the occassional weekend/nightout away without each other. (writing it down makes is sound claustrophobic, but we've been together 12 years so.....) Anyway, I get an email from him yesterday saying that a friend of his has got in touch about 'that' weekend away. I got excited thinking we were off to somewhere new and emailed him as such and I got nothing back. When I got home I talked about potnential arrangments for dog care to which I got a laughing' oh no, it's just me and ...." (insert names of his mates). He said he told me about this on an evening out a few weeks ago - which I don't remember at all but I was fairly drunk - but he's said nothing since.

Am I being unreasonable to feel
a bit hurt that I'm not invited as it sounds like a great night out (with mutual friends) and I have to stay at home? I also feel like he's been a little sly in the way he's approached it.

KPee - you say that when you thought you might be invited along you "talked about potential arrangements for dog care" but then that you can't go away with your DH because of the dogs. If there are solutions, you should get them set up and get away, just the two of you (or a bigger group of you, if that's more fun).

People who are in relationshpis shouldn't go clubbing.

Clubbing is for pulling.

oh give over, FN

I don't think YABU to feel left out at all. Among my circle of friends, the men and women are friends and we all go out in a group together. It would be very rare indeed for just the blokes or women to go out.

For some people it's not like this and I understand they probably find it odd! But personally I much prefer it this way.

But although I totally sympathise that's not to say he shouldn't go. If you every wanted a girls night, you should be able to of course, as should he.

So, they're nothing for it but a night in spoiling yourself at home, as you say.

Most of my oldest mates are blokes (friends from my mid teens). My close girlfriends came from the next stage in my life. (My late teens).

I wouldn't think twice about being in the pub, just me and my male mates. But a lot of people don't understand IME. Some people seem to think that people of opposite sexes can be friends without sex being on the agenda somehow (e.g. flirting) which I pretty sad I think.

"I think my post was to ask whether or not I was being daft about feeling hurt that I wasn't invited to what I think is going to be a great night out, rather than suggesting that I was going to invite myself along as omi-present wife."

No, you're not being daft, you have feelings!

Can't be friends I meant. gah!

Not worried about him 'pulling' one iota.

Excellent point re dog care. Maybe definately have been rather petulant on this issue.

I have to say this has been very useful indeed.

Strike out fail.

What are you going to do then OP?

Well, I went home ate a bit of humble pie for sulking that I wasn't off out to an exciting night out and told him I was probably feeling a bit insecure - which I appreciate is nothing to do with him. Luckily he's a great bloke and gave me a hug and kiss and told me we'll arrange a night out/weekend away later - he said he's not that arsed about the night itself, just wants to see his mates which I totally get.

FN So have you only ever gone clubbing to 'pull'?

Personally I go for a laugh, a few drinks and a dance. So does DH. If we couldn't trust each other to walk into a nightclub without getting off with someone else, we would have a pretty sorry relationship IMO.

BTW - KPee good for you, and you will have earned Brownie points in the process which is always handy

'The whole notion of boys nights out/girls nights out (for anyone over the age of 25ish) makes me want to barf.'

Wow. So you don't like spending time with your female friends? I don't mean going out and getting falling over drunk, but just a few drinks and a nice meal with close friends?

I mean, I like to go out with DH as well, as a couple. I also like to go out with him in a group, or have friends round.

But sometimes some conversation with female like minded friends is great - fun and uplifting.

I am off to Manchester next weekend to spend the weekend with 2 female friends I have known for 26 years. We only see each other in person about tweice a year now as we live all round the country and life gets in the way....but god, its fun when we do!

KPee came on to tell you YABU but you already know and have sorted it. Well done! Now you are a very reasonable human being!

Wow some people seem just so NEEDY!
Why is it unreasonable to not invite you along to gooseberry on a lads night out? I would lmao if my OH even suggested tagging along on a girls night out (not that he would- hes not the clingy sort luckily!)

"Wow. So you don't like spending time with your female friends? I don't mean going out and getting falling over drunk, but just a few drinks and a nice meal with close friends?"

Nothing wrong with going out with your girl mates and falling over drunk occasionally either even if you're (shock horror!) over 25

Me and dh do separate things with our own friends but we also go out with other couples or on holidays with other couples etc. A nice mix of the two.

Gemsy83 - another intelligent post from you I see

DP and I have been together for almost 10 years and I can count the amount of times we have been out clubbing together!

I go out every Friday and he goes out every Saturday, we spend the rest of the week together and once a month we will have a night out together (money allowing) I really don't think we could have stuck each so long otherwise :o

But then I am 24 and he is 25 so it seems to be acceptable for us to go clubbing.

I also do not do clubbing with the girls... because all but 2 of my friends are male and the 2 who are not are both rather... well butch lesbians so yeah the most feminine thing we tend to do is pee sitting down ;o

What the hells wrong with my post? People have expressed views in a far more unkind way than me in the past! Give me a break- seems because a lot of you dont agree with what I say you think you can try and bully me away.