Husband Off for a Night of Clubbing Without me

[KPee]

A bit of background....

DH and I have the same set of friends and generally go out together - almost always infact - with the occassional weekend/nightout away without each other. (writing it down makes is sound claustrophobic, but we've been together 12 years so.....) Anyway, I get an email from him yesterday saying that a friend of his has got in touch about 'that' weekend away. I got excited thinking we were off to somewhere new and emailed him as such and I got nothing back. When I got home I talked about potnential arrangments for dog care to which I got a laughing' oh no, it's just me and ...." (insert names of his mates). He said he told me about this on an evening out a few weeks ago - which I don't remember at all but I was fairly drunk - but he's said nothing since.

Am I being unreasonable to feel
a bit hurt that I'm not invited as it sounds like a great night out (with mutual friends) and I have to stay at home? I also feel like he's been a little sly in the way he's approached it.

LeQueen - Glad you have a really healthy relationship, so do DH and I - we just enjoy going on nights out together, nothing suspicious. It's our lifestyle (albeit a small part of it) and it suits us just as yours suits you.

Unless other partners are going then YABU. I love going out with DH but I also love going out without him! Can't he have a bloke's night out for a change??

It would seem the general consensus is I'm being unreasonable then sigh

It's just his bloke mates (my friends also) he's going with and I'm in no way worried about what he might and might not be up to, it's just we've not had a great big night out/weekend away for a looooooong time.

Also, all my mates have very recently had a baby or live miles away - I can't leave the dogs for the weekend (can't put them in kennels for medical and financial reasons) so it's not like I can arrange a smashing night out in such short notice.

Night in with all the rom coms he refuses to watch it is then.

KPee I do understand how you feel - there came a point with DH & I where it stopped being us both having similar amounts of nights out without to him getting asked on loads and me having hardly ever, exactly when all the couples started having children.

For some reason in my group of friends, it was the women who stopped wanting to go out (and it was that, and not that the men wouldn't look after the babies), whilst the men were always still up for a night out.

It's evened out a bit more lately though, because everyone seems too skint for regular nights out anyway

Just realised that first sentence makes no sense whatsoever

if it's all blokes, YABU

I always feel very sorry for (and suspicious of) the one girl out with a gang of blokes

it makes you look like the needy wife who doesn't trust her husband

not a good look, tbh

My best mates gay so I suspect you'd be feeling very suspiscious and sorry for me quite a lot if you saw us out with him and his partner.

We generally go out with lots of couples, so it's not like I hang around gangs of men on nights out. Gads.

but that is what you are proposing to do, yes ?

your husband is going on a lad's night out...and you want to go with them

yes or no ?

The point the OP is making is that this is not the usual for them. Lad's nights don't tend to happen so it is not like she is trying to muscle in on this particular one. It is unusual for them as a couple so she is just a bit .

Personally I might feel a bit left out if ALL my mates and DH were going out and on this one particular occasion I wasn't invited.

I think my post was to ask whether or not I was being daft about feeling hurt that I wasn't invited to what I think is going to be a great night out, rather than suggesting that I was going to invite myself along as omi-present wife.

I guess you have your answer then

sort out a great girls night out for a few weeks time and enjoy your romcoms !

I think if all of them are your mates redgardless of what sex they happen to be there is nothing wrong with expecting an invite, surely?! I don't get what the big deal is about the only lad's/only girl's thing, it wouldn't even cross my mind if I saw a girl out with a group of lads or vice versa

Yes, "unhealthily codependant", that's us down to a tee.

I could explain why we like to spend all our time together, but quite honestly I can't be arsed - it works for us though and that is all that matters.

I find that the couples who regularly socialise independantly are the ones who struggle to make conversation with each other when it's just the two of them in a restaurant etc. - hows that for a sweeping generalisation?

The whole notion of boys nights out/girls nights out (for anyone over the age of 25ish) makes me want to barf.

Malificence - totally agree!

DH and I have lots of mutual friends theat we go out with regularly/ on holidays with as a group, but also occasionally on boys only/ girls only nights out.

No problem at all. This is just one of those single sex nights.

DH often goes for Sunday breakfast with his best mate, who is also a really good mate of mine. They just feel the need to talk about lads matters now and then so I let them get on with it.

mal..are you aware of how old the Op is ?

How old are you OP?

I must be sad as I only socialise with my DH and our couple freinds.......I do go for coffee-cinema to see crap that DH wont watch with female freinds but nights out involve DH, never thought about it before

Have a girls night out instead. Much more fun.

My god.......I Just spelt friends wrong twice, It's the 4 week old baby brain at work.

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MrsBananaGrabber - I really wouldn't worry about it, it's really not a big deal! If you and DH are happy what does it matter how strangers on an internet forum may or may not percieve your relationship?

if you cant afford dog care - how could you have gone anyway???