to want to avoid this group of people entirely?

[dispondantandthensome]

My husband and I know a group of people, who are all friends and increasingly have some intersting ideas to say the least. They all belong to a certain religion and consider themselves rather enlightened.

Well, it increasingly is becoming evident that one of their ideas is that you are more of a woman (yes wait for this) IF you have a natural birth so when they announce the birth of a child it goes like this.....

Mother and baby all very very very well. All natural water birth with no pain relief and then goes on about how well the mother did. And a few details about the baby.

I just find this odd.

Also one of them (actually my s i l) wrote to me (wait for this!!!) to say I had a section as I had not tried hard enough Myself and my child nearly died as I got to ten cm then had to have a crash section. Who deems themselves in a higher position to write to another mother along this vein? I was devastated but now am just F*d off. I went on to have two more sections in quick succession each time shortly after receiving a text of her births - ie no pain relief, all natural blah blah.

Comes across as proud and conceited.

ignore me really just venting but it DOES piss me off.

Vent away. I always wanted to throttle smug bitches like that.

and the fathers put on face book - my wife did great she had a natural birth.

As if those of us that did not have a natural birth did NOT do great.

I am so mad at this last announcement I am considering not sending a card and present which would be noticed but I feel fake when in reality I just feel annoyed and want to break from relationship with these people. Perhaps this is the final straw I am not sure.

ps, sorry if ranting but some women dont have it easy and would be devastated by their ignorance!

Thing is they are never going to get you so I would be tempted to say something along the lines of 'yes actually you are right I couldn't be arsed to push and they offered me a tummy tuck at the same time - shame they didn't offer you the same'

YANBU. Its not an effing competition is it? I had 2 sections and don't feel like I ahve done any worse than my friends who had normal straightforward deliveries. They got lucky thats all.

i think it shows an amazing lack of medical knowledge. the idea of a CS being linked to "not trying hard enough" - would they prefer the woman died during childbirth or developed a obstetric fistula which requires surgery to fix, hmmm? Because double incontinence makes a "real woman", right, since she'd then have tried hard enough?

They are idiots. YANBU to want to avoid such narrow minded, judgemental people.

I just dont get it - you feel shit enough after a crap birth without being sent a letter saying it was your own fault.

I was too fucking ill at the time to reply but each baby born and announced this proud way gushing about the birth being only wonderful as it should be etc... is starting to hack me off. and i want to feel brave that I can now step away from them!

What is their religion?

Ask the fathers how many of them go in for natural dentistry, or for that matter have operations without anaesthetic?

and avoid them like the plague!

Are they Scientologists?

I make a point of always referring to a vaginal as opposed to non vaginal birth. There is nothing unnatural about a CSection, or indeed other interventions.

These people also drive me mad, missing the point that the birth is actually that of the baby concerned rather than the mother herself.

Ignore them, I do!

'I always want to smother smug bitches like that' ...?? Have you met lots of women who accuse those who have c sections of not trying hard enough?

If your SIL really did say this OP then that's incredibly nasty and I would have to tell her so.

What's the religion thing? I don't quite understand that part.

No, YANBU, avoid them entirely they are mad as a bag of frogs, I'm surprised you had to ask!!

ladies you talk sense.

All the women who die in 3rd world countries did not try obviously.

Dim wits.

your sil may be a saintly god when it comes to giving birth,but

her children wont remember their birth but they will remember what weird parents they have,and their probably racist,homophobic etc etc,apologise if wrong

and sadly my s i l did say this.

they believe this due to their religion. and alot of other things that make you feel two cm tall.

Thank God we live in the days where intervention is possible, because it is not so very long ago when women and babies frequently died during 'natural' childbirth.

Real women my Aunt fanny!
Real women support each other and don't behave like smug gits.

Don't let them make you feel bad they're not worth it.

I am just sick of the comments I want to say back off its not impressive its making you look like egotistical twunts. and i am nice / passive by nature so if i feel like this goodness knows how others must feel that are less mousy!!! (that they come across like this to)

Why oh why are you friends with them? And please tell us, what is the religion????

Oh the irony of these enlightened beings - they are so forward that their head has become Stuck in their patronising, judgemental arses but all they can see is how enlightened they are whilst the rest of us who live in the real world are idiots.

Now i like to explore spirituality, but some people take it too far. Ditch these smug, stupid people and find some new friends! X

YANBU
' I had a section as I had not tried hard enough'

Now I had a vaginal birth - but I have a couple of friends who has to have emcs because if they hadn't they and their babies could have died!!

What a truly ignorant thing to say!! I would never think that about anyone who had a cs - it is major abdominal surgery, ffs!
You know how I feel about my vaginal birth?Lucky and grateful that I got through without needing that level of intervention.
Your SIL really hasn't got a clue!

indeed she doesnt noone who has an emcs wants one oh except maybe they had not been trying hard enough. yes thatll be it [angry} < name calls under breath at stinky know it alls>

Your sil is a grade A twat who would nOt know true spirituality if it smacked her In the face

Send her a letter stating medical reasons why you had a c section and also that true spirituality/enlightenment does not involve judgements or being above others and that you hope she can achieve that higher plain one day...!

Ps

I am so MADD for you! X

There's opinionated and there's plain nasty. These people are the latter. Stay well away from anyone who treats others like this. They are beyond smug and sound like they get a real kick out of being nasty to others.

When you think about the sad outcome for some mothers and babies during and after childbirth I think as long as you get the result you want- a healthy mum and baby- that's all that matters. Who gives a rats arse if you gave birth by scalpel or in a pool of sodding water?

Want to know another thing.

Oh this is a beauty.

My Bil said to my husband that had so and so ( a mutual friend) known what they know now (whatever that is) that they would not still have a disabled child.

My husband was aghast and rather than fight just said ok then

Sil and Bil then had a disbaled child (in their eyes) - a child with very bad club feet - born this way. They hid him under a blanket. It was only when we saw the baby in total stookys that we realised there was an issue with him. (I had infact noticed it when the baby was newborn but did not say to hubby).

Its all about HOW they look to others.

Makes me want to say, oh get stuffed

made my husband feel terrible that he did not know his nephew had been having issues AS IF people would love the baby less for NOT being perfect.

They may require perfection in people to make them loveable but us mere mortals do not. no one dare mention it to them it was an untalkable topic.

Oh
My
God

What stupid vile people

Poor you for being related to them
And their poor poor children who will be fucked up by having such stupid, ignorant, pathetic parents

Shit!