to want to avoid this group of people entirely?

[dispondantandthensome]

My husband and I know a group of people, who are all friends and increasingly have some intersting ideas to say the least. They all belong to a certain religion and consider themselves rather enlightened.

Well, it increasingly is becoming evident that one of their ideas is that you are more of a woman (yes wait for this) IF you have a natural birth so when they announce the birth of a child it goes like this.....

Mother and baby all very very very well. All natural water birth with no pain relief and then goes on about how well the mother did. And a few details about the baby.

I just find this odd.

Also one of them (actually my s i l) wrote to me (wait for this!!!) to say I had a section as I had not tried hard enough Myself and my child nearly died as I got to ten cm then had to have a crash section. Who deems themselves in a higher position to write to another mother along this vein? I was devastated but now am just F*d off. I went on to have two more sections in quick succession each time shortly after receiving a text of her births - ie no pain relief, all natural blah blah.

Comes across as proud and conceited.

ignore me really just venting but it DOES piss me off.

I do actually feel sorry for their kids theyre nervous little polite all singing all dancing robots.

Its not very nice to watch and when my guys frolic about a little at the table they get all panicky and say mummy mummy theyre messing about the little girl nervously bites her nails.

Oh also they told me theyre children YES even babies DO NOT CRY.

EVER.

possibly they have learned not to to keep up the perfect front but its not natural never to cry its not a sign of weakness its normal.

odd. the more i write the more odd it seems actually.

anyway bed for me thanks for listening zzzzzzz I do feel better actually knowing its not just me!

ah ah
what happens if you kick the father very hard in the balls? do they cry or do very very well at accepting the natural pain?

ha ha ha ha ha

they would smile of course!

I call this True Believers(TM) syndrome.

My brother suffers from it, he's part of some quasi-Christian sect, but they denounce mainstream Christianity as being heretical and demonic. They are the only true enlightened ones you see - all 30 or so of them.

You can't reason with people who have given themselves a divine seal of approval. Anything you say will be taken as evidence of how right they are and how wrong you are. If you are hurt by their words, its not the fact that they are rude twats - it's because you 'secretly know they are speaking the truth'. If you get annoyed at them it's because you 'secretly know they are speaking the truth', if you stop going to see them it's because you 'secretly know they are speaking the truth'.

Don't try and look for any logic or sanity in their actions, you won't find any. Don't expect compassion or understanding because to a True believer(TM) that is called compromise and it must be avoided at all costs. They are right, you are wrong and you must be made to see how wrong you are.

They come across as proud and conceited because they are proud and conceited. They are True Believers(TM).

Those poor poor children
I feel so sad for them

I find it hilarious that they think their behaviour is enlightened

Their kids could end up as gibbering wrecks and they would not see it

I worry for those children, they haven't got much chance of growing without issues
Maybe you should get them over to your house as much as you can for normal fun play!

You are the enlightened one! Feel smug about knowing that! Night!

that sounds just I mean just like them

So how have you coped having in laws like this too then? I need advice its not a nice situ to be in. Do they call themselves true believers by the way?

How come true believers gets abbreviated to TM by way?

Ooh you have encouraged me coming on to this thread!

So true smellsliketeenstrop!

I just want to bash all their true believing teeth on though!

Tm is trademark?

ps, they would never let their kids over to mine its messy its fun its toy filled there are sweets

Mine love it though

Like I said
You are the enlightened one
take pleasure knowing that

But I do feel really sorry for those kids

So do I

we had to all meet to do a photo shoot family type thing for granny

I trundled out with my 3, they trundled out with theirs and I said hi to their 3 yo little one and was kidding about and I was teasing my hubby and I said to the little one what a silly billy your uncle is (as I chased him about the car).

To which she sternly said (she had not said hi yet) YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT.

I said, pardon. as I was a bit taken aback and she said YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY SILLY IT IS BAD.

I said honey I am allowed to say silly.

she sounded just like her mother.

:( all uptight and intolerant

I am horrified by the clubfeet story. With the correct treatment that's not a disability! Normally children with clubfeet have serial casting and then wear a brace at night, with treatment completely finished by the time they go to school. Are they implying they would have aborted the child or something, not sure what was meant by the comment.

they hid him as they did not want others to know that he had a disability sorry thats what I meant.

as they like to look like they are perfect, along with their children

What?! That's terrible. I have a clubfoot child and can't understand not talking about it, it's the most common "defect" there is and very treatable. To be honest, I would rather have dealt with clubfeet early on than a chronic problem like eczema or reflux. How are they related to you; did your husband's brother/sister change personality once they got married? (Blame the in-law!)

Yes TM is trademark just because they are the only authentic true believers in the world you see.

They don't call themselves True Believers, it's my nickname for them, but their name isn't much better actually, they are 'The Elect'. Very modest.

How have I coped? Well at the minute he's not speaking to me. I told him in no uncertain terms what I thought about his beliefs and he's decided that because there is no hope of converting me that I am not worthy of his time. It's not the first time he's done this though. I'm not shutting the door on him, if he wants to start speaking again then I'll be here.

While I hate what he's got himself in to and I hate what it is doing to him, he is still my brother and I'm not willing to cut him out completely. Though I do take regular rest breaks.

Did he learn about the religion from his wife? What was their wedding like? Sorry to be nosey, it's interesting if sad.

Oh my word! Sorry but that's the most pathetic thing ive heard in a long long time!

That email your sil sent you after what musthave been such a scary experience is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard uttered. Seriously, she must have a very sad, boring, underattaining life if she uses birth of all things to try and make herself feel superior to other people.

What religious people they be if after a birth their greatest concern is the science in how a baby was delivered and not the emotional welfare of the mother and baby and miraculous gift that has just been given in the form of a beautiful baby!!

Scary- I'd rather not be religious if it meant overtly displaying such a negative view of women and lack of compassion for others. I hope you can distance yourself from them you sound a lovely person and enjoy your little one.x

I'm a mother of one, beautiful two yr old DD yet never experienced a single contraction in having her, let alone a 'natural birth'.
I had an EMCS at 34wks due to severe PET.

I'd love to see women like your SIL and many others endure what women like us have to. Yet I count myself and my daughter lucky, I don't need to be called a 'clever girl' for having a naural birth, I'm alive and thats enough.

Natural childbirth?

Does that mean they found a quiet cave, stripped off, chewed up some leaves and moss and made a nice nest, got down on all fours and squeezed out the baby while the rest of the herd group looked on, licked the baby clean then wondered around In a field chewing dandelions with half a placenta hanging out of her flaps until it finally fell out?

No? Funny that......

lol

they had an uppety wedding but were not in the fundamentalist group they are now they are married.

Bil called tonight incidentally and said to my husband we want to come round and see your extension.

I dont want to be in. I am over seeing them.

Also just got an email inviting us to their sons birthday party after the religious service they go to (in the building). It gives the time of the service.

That made me mad too.

Either give him a birthday party or dont but dont use him to get us to a service to enlighten us.

I said to hubby lets skip the service and turn up AFTER it for the (presumably) birthday cake candle blowing part.

That would get on their goat but why not? Its about HIM isnt it

When they arrive get you dh to pull down his trousers and boxer shorts and stand proudly with his manhood on display and a big grin on his face.

Then say whoops darling - they meant the "other extension"......

They probably won't come back.

Or could you pretend you had forgotten the date when they turn up and be dressed from head to toe in fetish gear, including spiky masks (would add a realistic touch such as husband on a dog leash on all fours). Invite them in and carry on as normal (don't forget it's cocktail hour - Bacardi breezers and a glass dish of Pom Bears)

Either one is a winner I reckon.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I am small and plump I would make a better saucy milk maid I think