To think that at tea time with 3 kids it should be all hands on deck?

[Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara]

And not one parent cooking tea/sorting the children out/tidying kitchen afterwards/bathing children/listening to children reading/putting children to bed, whilst the other goes on the PC? Regardless of whether one parent has been at work all day or not.

I think I'm being perfectly reasonable, DH thinks I am being very unreasonable and that I should do everything, every night.

i think you should pack his bags for him!

your DH sounds like a pratt. Try unplugging the PC and hiding the power cable then when he walks into the kitchen looking for it - hand him a pot and spoon and say can you just stir this while i get the plates......

he might get the idea....

YANBU. DH arrives just as I start cooking (also 3 DC under 5) and he rarely has time to change before being needed straight away, and it's all hands on deck till we're both off duty together at 7.30... afterall he's had 30 min sat in the car driving listening to the radio just before coming in, I've had them all day...

he's utterly unreasonable.

my DH normally gets back in time to read our eldest a story - i leave them to it, but if he got back earlier he would totally take over with DC1 while i deal with the baby.

on the weekends we both do bathtime, etc. I would have cooked their dinner but he will be washing up, tidying up in the meantime though.

when both are at home its 50/50 parenting in my book unless one of you is ill and in bed?!

when your DH is on the PC i'm assuming he's not working from home?

No, he's on all sorts of random websites.

3 DC five and under (one who is under 1) and I do it every night during the week. DH walks in as I am putting them in bed, often after.

I have a little routine going so dont find it too hard.

On the weekends Dh cooks and I find it a lot more hectic!

But if your Dh is home at tea time every night, I can definitely see how it could grate! I do it because I have to, but if he is there he should help!!

YANBU. Bitchslap him.

Has he been at work all day? YANBU at all that it should be a joint effort but if he's not seen them all day it's also a bit :( that he doesn't want to do that stuff imo.

i find it amazing that any parent could just sit there on the computer while dinner / bathtime / bedtime was going on with 3 children and just ignore it and not feel the need to get involved.

at the very least he should want to help you (if not want to spend time with DC).

thats a very selfish attitude he has - give him a kick up the butt!

x posts with flowery ...........

by the way you've been at work all days too, just not had to go to an "office" to do YOUR job!

I keep trying to get across to him that it would be nice to interact with his kids once in a while, and that he should want to do things with them. He will bath the youngest occasionally but thinks if he baths him then that is all he has to do, likewise if he feeds our youngest, he will think then that he doesn't have to do anything else at all.

he should be helping to parent the children.

imo, he should do the bedtime routine while you do the cleaning.

"he should do the bedtime routine while you do the cleaning"

Yes that's exactly what we do at weekends. DH rarely sees the DSs at all during the week as he leaves either before or just as they get up and doesn't get home until well after they are asleep, so at weekends he's always dead keen to do bathtime/story time etc. He usually does it by himself while I clean up downstairs and run the hoover round etc

DH's idea of doing bedtime is telling the older 2 to go and put their pyjamas on and then telling them to go up to bed and that I'll be up in a minute to tuck them in.

YANBU.

We share the dinner/bedtime duties most nights, no matter what we've both been up to in the day. Occasionally, if one of us has urgent work to attend to or is really knackered or unwell, the other one will completely take over.

Otherwise, normal duty means that, despite the fact that he works long days, when DH gets in from work he has a quick cuppa, changes his clothes and then gets down to child-related duties pronto.

Does he do the early shift with them, and/or breakfast?

Am trying to find some way for this not to be an absolutely crap attitude tbh.

No Maktaitai; we get up at the same time, but he spends about an hour getting himself ready, having breakfast, going on the PC, having a shit etc etc, whilst I sort out the children, make packed lunches, get breakfasts, try and get myself ready.

sorry frazzled, not a helpful comment, but he's a selfish arse. i believe "he needs kicking into touch" is the expression?

not that you should have to but when he says to the elder DC "you'll be up to tuck them in", why don't you TELL him that its his turn for a change? or have you and what reaction did you get?

sorry for you as i'd be really gutted if my DH had that attitude.

In our house, one parent does the tea and the other is off doing something else, either on the PC or putting away washing and the like. Only here it is dh that is doing the tea, having been out all day at work, and me that is off doing something else, having been at home with the kids all day.

We then join up again and I do bed for youngest two, while dh does supper and bed for older one.

I'd be hacked off with your husband's behaviour if I were on the receiving end of it.

I don't know, what do you do about this? Do you go out early sometimes, do you say 'Hon, I'm knackered, I could do with a lie down, can you do the honours this evening' and if so, what does he say?

I'd stop being a doormat.

I'd go out one evening just before dinnertime and let him deal with it all.

Not sure actually..........we have 4 small ones and dh usually arrives beween 7 and 9. TBH I can see the need to wind down before getting back into the fray - I work too, and there is one day when dh is in charge and I work. If I walk thro the door and its day off, to chaos, I am generally unamused. But, I am finding having 4 quite lovely, and cook for the dcs at 5pm, sit and have a cup of tea while they eat - i like wittering away to them about nothing at this time. Plus, bedtime is quite staggered, so story while one watches TV, then bed for the next one etc. Then, dh and I eat late so I don't feel like I'm starving but having to do it all alone.
So I'm not sure if YABU. Maybe it depends on if you work? (IE Both arriving home frazzled at 6pm)

What thingumy said - go out!

does he actually do ANYTHING with them...

I would feed the kids early before he gets home, and yourself. And then when he gets in, be sat there on the pc... see how he likes it.

Think it depends on how old the dc are. Are they all in school or pre-schoolers?