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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have found this comment offensive?

69 replies

Carrotsandcelery · 11/01/2011 12:57

I was out for coffee with a crowd of mums from the local area.
Many many people have moved to this area from other areas, all over the world, due to the oil industry in this area.
From the group I was with I was the only one born and raised in the area and there was only one other Scottish mum in the group. The majority of the rest were English or from abroad.
I class these mums as good friends of mine and I enjoy their company.

However I had no idea what to say when they began a discussion about accents and how they pray their children will not adopt a local accent.
I have a local accent!
Am I being over sensitive (I didn't say a word btw) or is that incredibly rude?

OP posts:

humanheart · 11/01/2011 13:00

YANBU! so RUDE!!!

prettyfly1 · 11/01/2011 13:00

If you are from where I think you are (Aberdeenshire) I am English and grew up there and there is nothing wrong with the accent. The softer lilt of it is actually really lovely. YANBU.

Blu · 11/01/2011 13:00

Well, they won't win any prizes for charm and tact, will they?

But don't take it personally - they probably think that local accents sound great on local people, and most parents find it odd if thier children grown up very differently to themselves. But they are deluding themselves if they think their children won't pick up a local accent!

Merlotmonster · 11/01/2011 13:01

I would have been a bit taken aback but would probably have made a joke about it ..like Oi you lot!! easy on the local! he he

Thingumy · 11/01/2011 13:01

Think yourself lucky that you don't have a Somerset accent

ChickensAreFlyingUnderTheRadar · 11/01/2011 13:01

It is rude. However, I am guilty of thinking the same thing. I think it's a normal reaction to hearing your children speak differently to the way that you do. Unless they were being very derogatory, in which case they were being arses.

notnowbernard · 11/01/2011 13:02

I wonder if they were saying it in a "I don't want them to sound different to me" way rather than "I hate the local accent" way?

IAmTheCookieMonster · 11/01/2011 13:02

I doubt it was a specific dislike of your local accent, more that they want their children to have the same accent as themselves. I really don't think they meant it offensively.

If you moved to America you might hope that your children maintained a scottish accent as it is their heritage.

WorzselMummage · 11/01/2011 13:02

Some accents are awful.

I live in the Black Country though come from Oxford originally. Dh is from here though. We all hope the kids don't pick up the local accent.

fedupofnamechanging · 11/01/2011 13:03

Well, they probably just mean that they would like their children to have 'their' accents. I think some people find it a bit strange when their children sound so different to themselves. That said, I think that if they really don't want their DC to develop the local accent, they'd best move back to where they consider the accent to be more acceptable.

I would have been a bit irritated too and would have been tempted to point out that if they are so offended by how the locals sound, then they have options!

StormInaCCup · 11/01/2011 13:04

I think you are being oversensative personally. I am from Yorkshire (born and bred) but I have to admit that my local accent does not always come across very well

e.g. 'ehy yup!' 'ows 'ta doin?'

I have made an effort to try and minimise my 'natural' accent so that it does not sound so broad Yorkshire, especially in certain circumstances. At home I am much more relaxed and my accent changes depending on who I am with. I would happily say that I hope my son (I am currently preg)will no doubt end up with a Yorkshire accent but that I hope does not have a strong local accent.

alicet · 11/01/2011 13:05

It depends a bit on the tone of the conversation tbh. I think something like that could be said in jest and as a bit of banter between CLOSE friends. You could have retaliated in a light hearted way saying you are just thankful that your dc won't sound all posh and up themselves like the queen or something (I am english so dissing myself here!)

If they are not close friends or this wasn't the tone of the conversation then YANBU and they are either rude or thoughtless

FiveOrangePips · 11/01/2011 13:06

You are right to be offended! And I like that particular Scottish accent, I live in Scotland, always have, I wish my dc would get a Scottish accent, particularly a local one, they are 9 and 6! We are surrounded by lots of people who came here because of their jobs, their children don't have accents as such, very few local accents even amongst the children at school, I think it is sad. My dh is Irish, I have lived all over Scotland, so I don't really have a regional/local accent but I sound Scottish.

Lizzylou · 11/01/2011 13:08

Oh I have said something similar myself

BUT what I meant was that my kids don't sound like me iyswim? They have Lancashire accents whereas I come from the Midlands. I found it wierd at first that we didn't share the same accents.

Perhaps they meant something similar?

theevildead2 · 11/01/2011 13:08

If someone had said it to you in a jokey way (and you were close enough to joke like that)it would be OK.

But don't think its on to have said it in front of you otherwise. I suspect they will be kicking themselves now when they think back on it.

IsItMeOr · 11/01/2011 13:12

They don't sound very tactful. But if you didn't say anything, you can't be surprised if they say it another time...

I have what sounds like a similar group of friends met through ante-natal group, and when a majority of them had stopped BFing, we had a weird dinner "discussion" which was basically a couple of the ones who had stopped saying how odd it was that anyone would BF a child who [insert commonly held prejudice of your choice]. It surprised and upset me, so I made a point of telling them when I saw them later that I was still BFing and that it suited me and DS. I didn't mentioned that I'd bee upset. Comments stopped.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 11/01/2011 13:12

I think you are being a bit over sensitive. OTOH, I am dreading DD starting to talk like a scouser when we move to Warrington in the summer. Manc is just about acceptable, but scouse. No way.
Currently she speaks more like me, London but with a bit of her dad, Manc, thrown in.

narkypuffin · 11/01/2011 13:12

That sounds like an upgrade Lizzylou

It sound like they were thoughtless rather than being deliberately arsey, and they were probably talking about their DCs having different accents, as posters have said, rather than having a go at your accent.

humanheart · 11/01/2011 13:13

and what's wrong a somerset accent thingumy?

Littlefish · 11/01/2011 13:13

It was rude, but you should have responded to it immediately. They obviously just didn't think.

Having said that, many, many parents where I live, hope that their children don't have a very broad local accent.

IsItMeOr · 11/01/2011 13:13

*I didn't mentioned that I'd been upset .

IsItMeOr · 11/01/2011 13:13

*mention .

bupcakesandcunting · 11/01/2011 13:13

YANBU and YABU at the same time. My DS is picking up an awful Black Country twang and I hate it :( or cor do dat, it sounds terrible

Original poster

Carrotsandcelery · 11/01/2011 13:14

I think, because I was in the minority, that they had forgotten I wasn't an incomer as it was very much a "How horrid is the local accent?" sort of conversation.
I am not annoyed with them in particular - I am sure if they realised they would be really embarrassed - but the general sentiment was a bit unsettling.

OP posts:

bupcakesandcunting · 11/01/2011 13:15

Ah worzelmummzage, we have the sme problem

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