to think people being all judgey about others' lifestyles shouldn't count holidays as luxuries

[nutsandtangerines]

This summer, all being well, we will have a toddler and a newborn. It is becoming pretty clear we won't be able to afford to go on holiday.

I am so relieved.

WHY do people on here:

a. moan about others' (perhaps benefit-financed) holidays?
b. moan that they can't afford them themselves?

Holidays are HORRIFIC. You rush around at work in advance trying to get things stable enough that people won't spend the whole time you are away phoning you or bitching about you. Your life becomes an obsessive conveyor belt of laundry to get all the clothes you need washed and dried in time to pack. You pack. Your hands and nails flake and snag as you stuff things into too small bags at 3 in the morning. You weep. You go to bed. You get up and attempt to clean the house in the 3 and half minutes between everyone finishing breakfast and leaving the house. You accept that you are going to come back to filth. You leave. You realise you have forgotten to turn things off. You have forgotten some medication, and the charger for your camera. You drive for a day. Child(ren) whinge. You arrive. It is raining. It is cold. There is nothing to eat. Everyone is hungry. You make a horrible meal out of emergency indredients that you would never eat at home. It is rejected. There are hungry tears. You wash up in a tiny sink that splashes water all over your front. You have hardly any tops left because you simply did not have the energy to force any more into the case over all the nappies and the man clothes that are already in there. you put the child(ren) to bed. They don't sleep. You run up and down the stairs after them for a few hours. You drink as much as possible when they finally seem to have dropped off. Go to bed. DP snores. Don't sleep. Child(ren) wake up at 5.30 and don't know where they are and cry. It is raining. What on earth are you going to do for 14 hours until you are allowed to put child(ren) back in bed and start drinking again? You begin the sysiphean task of stopping the toddler breaking its neck on the completely open stairs. This will dominate your existence for the next 7 days. Everyone is hungry. There is nothing to eat.

Etc.

Eventually you are allowed to go home where you immediately succumb to a horrific virus because you are exhausted. If you have a job you can take days off sick because you have an illness policy and a childminder. This feels like the best thing that has ever happened in your whole life. If you are on maternity leave you will wish you were dead for another 7 - 10 days while normal life continues amongst the laundry generated by the holiday.

This summer it looks like we won't be able to afford to get away anywhere. Should anything change this position I will be HIDING the money in a secret account and INSISTING that we will just have to do some family day trips instead.

AIBU?

Bread, olives, and feta? Or even better in the UK do the foody thing and investigate locl cheese.

We don't go abroad - the stress of the mere thought of it brings me out in a rash But we have had lovely UK hols. We always go near a beach and just outside a town if the weather is crap. We eat out a lot and when I do cook I use the chance to cook something a bit special - I rarely have the time to do it at home, tis usually pasta

BTW I thought the constant suggestions to 'adjust your expectations' was a little unhelpful too.

LOL @ "Junior anti-sex league".

Solution to stress free hols when the children are tiny is simple: go to Italy. No matter where you are, or what sort of hotel etc. etc. everyone will think that your children can do No Wrong and that they must be given whatever they like. The abundance of pizza, pasta and ice cream is also a great help.

I have abiding memory of going into extraordinarily smart hotel restaurant in Bologna with a sinking feeling that this could only be a disaster, only to have ds (aged just one) swept into a v comfy high chair with a chorus of "bellissimo" and a large party of important-looking business/politician types being made to wait until ds and we were entirely settled.

This does not, unfortunately solve the problem of having to sit in the dark until the dc are asleep.

Agree that UK cottage is pointless and exhausting until they are 3 or 4, then a beach or some fields and sheep etc can be v exciting and memorable make the whole thing worth it

i highly recommend my holiday last year. Went to vietnam with my sister. DH took the time off work and looked after DD and had a "staycation"(hate that word but only way to describe it) with her. i spent 10 day eating lovely food, going to spas and reading a book on the deck of a boat around halong bay. the least stressful 10 days of my life.

Our holidays are a LOT more fun since we moved on from having 3 babies and toddlers. There were some lovely exciting holidays with just one cute smiley baby, some seriously grim times with 3 under 5. And now we have some lovely relaxing and interesting holidays again.

I think it really is quite hard to have a relaxing holiday with several very small children. Wherever you stay.