to think people being all judgey about others' lifestyles shouldn't count holidays as luxuries

[nutsandtangerines]

This summer, all being well, we will have a toddler and a newborn. It is becoming pretty clear we won't be able to afford to go on holiday.

I am so relieved.

WHY do people on here:

a. moan about others' (perhaps benefit-financed) holidays?
b. moan that they can't afford them themselves?

Holidays are HORRIFIC. You rush around at work in advance trying to get things stable enough that people won't spend the whole time you are away phoning you or bitching about you. Your life becomes an obsessive conveyor belt of laundry to get all the clothes you need washed and dried in time to pack. You pack. Your hands and nails flake and snag as you stuff things into too small bags at 3 in the morning. You weep. You go to bed. You get up and attempt to clean the house in the 3 and half minutes between everyone finishing breakfast and leaving the house. You accept that you are going to come back to filth. You leave. You realise you have forgotten to turn things off. You have forgotten some medication, and the charger for your camera. You drive for a day. Child(ren) whinge. You arrive. It is raining. It is cold. There is nothing to eat. Everyone is hungry. You make a horrible meal out of emergency indredients that you would never eat at home. It is rejected. There are hungry tears. You wash up in a tiny sink that splashes water all over your front. You have hardly any tops left because you simply did not have the energy to force any more into the case over all the nappies and the man clothes that are already in there. you put the child(ren) to bed. They don't sleep. You run up and down the stairs after them for a few hours. You drink as much as possible when they finally seem to have dropped off. Go to bed. DP snores. Don't sleep. Child(ren) wake up at 5.30 and don't know where they are and cry. It is raining. What on earth are you going to do for 14 hours until you are allowed to put child(ren) back in bed and start drinking again? You begin the sysiphean task of stopping the toddler breaking its neck on the completely open stairs. This will dominate your existence for the next 7 days. Everyone is hungry. There is nothing to eat.

Etc.

Eventually you are allowed to go home where you immediately succumb to a horrific virus because you are exhausted. If you have a job you can take days off sick because you have an illness policy and a childminder. This feels like the best thing that has ever happened in your whole life. If you are on maternity leave you will wish you were dead for another 7 - 10 days while normal life continues amongst the laundry generated by the holiday.

This summer it looks like we won't be able to afford to get away anywhere. Should anything change this position I will be HIDING the money in a secret account and INSISTING that we will just have to do some family day trips instead.

AIBU?

nuts i just couldn't do the rainy day uk cottage and if that was all that was on offer i would stay home.

We live on the south coast anyway so there would be no point in driving for hours to some pretty cottage when we have the beach on one side and the sussex downs on the other.

If i couldn't afford to do an sunshine holiday then i would stay at home and sulk and join in with your rant lol

nuts - personally I don't like the UK weather and I think poor weather is very tough with dc (otherwise I really love NW Scotland and Northumbria). Driving over to France/Germany is not all that expensive though, especially factoring that holiday rentals and food are generally cheaper.

That said, we went to east Belgium last year and had a cool rainy week in an otherwise gloriously hot summer . We're going to the south of France this time - surely that's going to be hot (probably way too hot for dd actually .

Remind me not to come on holiday with you

I think 'holidays' in the UK are hit and miss - the weather is just too variable. For me, a holiday is about sunshine and a pool and preferably a sandy beach.

We took DD1 on holiday overseas for the first time when she was 3.5 and we went to a villa in Portugal. It was bliss. Just me, DH and DD1 - no work, no ringing phone, no housework beyond the minimal (a maid was included) and lots of sun, splashing and food and drink. DD1 was so worn out in the pool all day that she had a long sleep after lunch so that DH and I could chill on a lounger with a book. We then went out to eat most evenings.

It was cheaper than a package hotel holiday and so peaceful. We had a hire car so went exploring some days. I loved it.

We're off on holiday to Cuba this May, all 5 of us, and I can't wait.

UK scenario: we use Forest Holidays (forestry commission) lodges.

They have hot tubs on a sheltered deck area like a veranda (sp?). This keeps the DCs happy for days and days (a.k.a. the hot, hot paddling pool) and provides me and DH with a wonderful place to drink a glass of wine after they have gone to bed.

No stairs in the lodges, no rowdy neighbours (very strict site policies about light and noise at night), and all UK based. And familiar to the DCs as all lodges look very similar, so even my non-sleepers can relax.

Fantastic NightLark. I LOVE log cabins. You've given me something new to google .....

OP

I think you have to compromise your ideals a bit

My ideal holiday would not involve package tours, kids clubs or early sittings for dinner BUT we have had 3 fantastic holidays in e past 5 years which involved all of the above.

Because this has taken the stree out of the holiday. We have booked late deals (otherwise far too expensive for us) in decently rated 4 or 5 star hotels in Greece/Greek Islands. We hsvr picked fsmily rooms so that you basically have teo bedrooms with s door between you so you get privacy but are next to your DCs.

By biting the bullet nd going to anonymous hotels we have had the benefit of kids clubs (coulpe of hours a day child Crete whiist they have a ball) child friendly food - actually somewhere mediteranian is always a good bet food wise for kids, so they have always been happy with a simple mezze, chicken shish or whatever, and direct access to beach with n roads to cross.

No it's not what you would do as adults, nor do i want to do it every year but at least we all have fun - days on the beach, a bit of sightseeing, kids time/adult time and we all come back feeling like we've had a break.

Last summer we booked an apartment directly from the owner via a website and spent 5 weeks in Spain. DH was lucky enough to be able to work remotely for the whole time :). We got much more space for our money, could watch the children in the pool from our garden (literally 8 steps away) and could eat when we pleased. It was wnderful and IMO better than a villa as we had a few neighbours so children made friends.

Both worked for us and although we want to, and will, do some more independent travel as they get older, for now, the easy option is fine by me.

Honestly, it can be fun.

FFS text recognition is shit!!! Too many typos to correct but I hope you get my drift!

I quite like borrowed UK cottages with freezing rain (or whatever it was you said!). We have upended a table or bookcase to cover open stairs. Just light a fire, get wine and a takeaway, and toss the kids into bed or in front of a DVD (we take DVD which will play on DH's laptop). For me, anything which takes me out of the house and away from my to-do list counts as a holiday. And going back to a familiar place is bliss if you are holidaying with small DCs.

Love holidays and live for 'em.

If I was rich, I would be holidaying five or six times a year to far flung destinations.

As it is, we squeeze in every bit of travel and adventure we can afford / fit around work.

Yes, there is a bit of hassle factor involved in holidays with kids but honestly, te best times we have had as a family have been on holiday.

I have had some great holidays and some really awful ones. I cannot understand people who spend all year looking forward to their holiday and, the minute they get back, start thinking about next year's.

Each to their own, however. What really drives me nuts is people who come back from a holiday and want to tell you every detail of it accompanied by 120 photographs and a power point presentation. (I was only asking to be polite, I'm not that interested).

I love my holidays and work all year to pay for them.

However...

If we couldn't afford to go abroad, and couldn't afford to go All Incl(*) then I wouldn't go. I would save whatever I could and holiday every 2 years instead.

For me a holiday is not a holiday if it takes place in the rain, cooking and cleaning and generally doing the same as being at home but with worse facilities. IE anywhere in UK.

I work and save so that once a year we can afford to fly to somewhere hot (last year Morocco), stay in a hotel room that is cleaned for me every day, eat in restaurants where someone else has cooked (and cleaned up), watch entertainment provided and have a couple of drinks in the evening. There is nothing better than relaxing by or in a pool messing about with DD, ignoring DH, eating when hungry and forgetting the timetable. In fact my annual 2 weeks is the only two weeks in the year where I refuse to wear a watch - and I love it.

I let DD stay up late and balance that with an afternoon sleep (which is probably my favourite part of the whole break!) and I am overjoyed when she sleeps til 8am (never past 6am at home)

Yes its pricey - but for eg 2 adults and a 5 year old last august to Morocco cost just over 2K - and that was it. We took £500 emergency money and spent about £80 (on tat to bring back and some medicine).

This year I'm looking at Tunisia for about the same amount, but keep seeing deals to Turkey for around 1.5K

(*disclaimer - DH is a heavy drinker and on hols will start at lunchtime, if we didnt go AI we'd be skint by the end of the week! If it was just me and DD I'd look at Full or Half Board to save money)

I do think that holidays are a luxury, but you have to be sensible and plan a holiday which will suit everyone. Going to a family friendly resort when you want to get pissed and party with your mates won't work, nor will taking your kids to a place that is quiet and has little for them to do.

When I was married and the kids were little, we would do Haven holidays, they were within our budget and there was plenty to do with the kids. Now the kids are older, I'm not married and Haven don't cater for our needs, I leave the kids at home and go to Glastonbury. I feel I've earned myself a proper break, away from the sprogs, doing something I like to do.

I do agree that you are more tied to the kids when you take them on holiday, although that depends on their age. Once they are old enough, they can go to kids' clubs, older still and they can go off to do their own thing for a while. And there is always the evening, ok you can't leave them in a hotel and go clubbing, but you can use the time to relax, and if you can arrange to go with another family, you could take turns babysitting.

Med Holidays - heaven on earth. DD loves the beach, we love the weather, the food and the general spending time with our DD. Going in June for two weeks :)

UK holidays - utter hell. I can do four days max in a caravan and then Im running for home. They are boring, expensive and all the stress of a foreign holiday (sorting pets and house and time off out) without the reward.

You need to get organised.
Make a list of what needs packing (so you don;t forget your charger) and what needs doing by whom before you go.
Get ontop of the washing early
Write detailed handover notes at work.
Go on holidays outside the UK. Seriously, the weather is rubbish and its so expensive compared to Europe.

Don't self cater, that is not a holiday.

We only did short breaks when the dds were tiny. Now they are getting older, we've started back on two week holidays abroad.

Holidays with little ones are pants. It's far easier to stay at home, get some nice wine and food in, have a couple of days each to do your own things (spa day, shopping, cycle trip etc).... what's more, young kids don't enjoy having their routine disturbed in an unfamiliar place.

Best to save your money for when they're older and will actually appreciate holidays.

I do think though, that when they are older, and in school, and the cost of a two week holiday to Greece in reasonably nice accommodation means re-mortgaging your house, nice holidays are seen as a luxury. Certainly by me anyway!

i love holidays but your right, the run up is pretty stressful :(
Still wouldnt miss them for anything.

Jajas, last year we went with First Choice. Was 2 weeks, flying from Gatwick on 17 Aug. Went to agadir, Carribbean Village Agador. 3*. Room was good, quite big, food passable (tasty but a bit samey IYSWIM) entertainment fab and pools great. Very kid friendly but usual rush to get sunbed etc (a little tip to the pool man goes a long way)

this year looking at Tunisia, flying around same dates Luton to Enfidia, have found a couple on First Choice and Thomson for around the 2 / 2.5k mark. Like the look of the Riu in Hammamet so far.

yanbu.
So much packing and planning.
DC moan constantly & fight like ferrets in a bag.
Makes me feel so unappreciated after all the huge efforts I've put in.
And I don't like restaurant food every day.

I can stay home to listen to them bicker & be treated like a skiivy.

I did manage holidays until I had a DC3, now I take perverse delight in never going on hols.

Nuts and Tangerines - don't stay in a hotel! There are literally masses of cottages/self catering aparmtnets/villas out there!

And because I feel you will anser by saying 'but that means I will still have to do everything i do at home - well, DON'T!)

Eat easy to prepare foods - salads, cheese/ham/bread etc etc, eat out a bit and chill.

OK, the prep and packing can be a pain, but just try to do it over a longer time, and enjoy the expectation of the holiday.

When you get back, take your time unpacking, or do what I do and sort the washing into lights and darks before putting it into suitcase, and fling in a wash as soon as I get back, and another, takes a couple of hours and all done and fresh again.

I love restaurant food every day on holiday. We go out to restaurants when we are not on holiday about twice a year, so its a big deal for us.

I think you are doing it wrong OP. I went to France last year with 5 and 2 yr olds and a 10months baby. It was brilliant.

Stop being a misery guts and either change your holidays or don't bother.