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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dry my hair while my DH sleeps?

123 replies

glitzy · 10/01/2011 11:37

I get up before him in the mornings, and like to wash, dry and straighten my hair before I go to work. Obviously the hair dryer is noisy and wakes him - causing some grunts, sometimes moans, and always an attempt to smother himself with a pillow. I have nowhere else I can dry my hair other than our bedroom. Should I leave him sleeping and go to work with wet hair, or wake him up with the racket?

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 10/01/2011 14:06

What is being gained frgr, is what you said about them being good little worker bees (love that Grin), and because the other person is up and feeling superior (and probably a bit shitty) then nobody else is allowed to be in bed, because that would be an irresponsible thing to do.

DHs dad used to mow the lawn under his window because he thought he should be up with the larks like him.

I dislike that in a person.

Although I don't think the OPs like this.

Ormirian · 10/01/2011 14:09

Blimey! I do this every morning. And DH reads in bed after I've turned my light off. It's not an issue.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 10/01/2011 14:10

I'm wondering how long this has been going on for with OP. they are married so i guess have been living together a while. i wonder why it is onjly becoming a problem now? or has his work pattern changed and that is why he is noticing it?

frgr · 10/01/2011 14:15

But, Ormirian, it's clearly not an issue for you. The OP's DH is affected by what she's doing. Short of the odd thing about not wanting mirrors downstairs, the request isn't an unreasonable one if he really is being affected by what she's doing.

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 10/01/2011 14:15

I used to because dh was rubbish at getting up in the morning (we left at the same time) so he liked being given a boot by the hairdryer.
But now he works opposite hours to me so I do it downstairs
yabu I think

Original poster
glitzy · 10/01/2011 14:19

Its not every day, just maybe every second day, but not every second day either, I do sometimes do it the night before.

The going upstairs and downstairs bit will take me more time too, and as im normally cutting it pretty fine on my leaving time, this means I will have to get up earlier now too.

"If he is working late , hence the late nights then I think you should really get a set up in another room. Ikea did a tall , slim draer unit that the lid lifted up and was a mirror - or you get a bureau type thing & stool somewhere and have all your bits and bobs in there & a mirror inside" I would love to do this, but we dont have a spare room without kicking out the eldest Grin. She may object!

And I never said there was a problem here, just when I was gently covering my DHs ears with a pillow this morning (as to try not to wake him) I wondered if I should maybe give him a break and not dry my hair in the room. He has never said go do it somewhere else, just grumbled at being woken up.

OP posts:
Original poster
glitzy · 10/01/2011 14:23

Ormi - mine does too, he reads and watches tele sometimes, in bed, while im going to sleep.

ILove - I used to go to work with it wet before, its only recently that I wont as it keeps making me ill.

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 10/01/2011 14:25

ah right, you did say that earlier, i forgot.

2rebecca · 10/01/2011 15:11

You can use hairdryers in a bathroom here, you just need an extension lead. If no young kids around I have used extension lead and electric gadgets in bathroom.

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 10/01/2011 15:44

You're supposed to use a mirror when you straighten your hair?!

Original poster
glitzy · 11/01/2011 09:08

lol @ The Heathen

Well, spoke to my DH last night about using the hair dryer in the morning and waking him etc, and said I would move my stuff down to the dining room, and he said there is no need, after 8 is a perfectly reasonable time to make a noise in the bedroom, and he should be getting up then anyway! Grin

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 11/01/2011 10:46

So he wakes you seven times out of ten and you wake him five times out of ten? You win on numbers!

And drying your hair in your own bedroom at 8ish in the morning is NU, if it was 6 am then he might have a point! Nice to see that he has seen sense!

Aims80 · 11/01/2011 10:56

I dry and straighten my hair in the living room so I don't wake himself up, I've never considered doing otherwise!

TubbyDuffs · 11/01/2011 11:01

Really at a loss as to why you bothered posting?

You have spoken to your dh and all is well, so what is the issue?

ZacharyQuack · 11/01/2011 11:07

So it's not actually a problem after all? Confused

frgr · 11/01/2011 11:23

Sounds like you're both very selfish individuals, tbh. But as long as you're both happy together it's no one else's business, so nvm.

Original poster
glitzy · 12/01/2011 11:50

hang on, I posted as I wanted to know if I should consider my DH when drying my hair, as I didnt think before when ive dried my hair and woken him, if i was BU. When drying my hair that morning, I thought maybe I should dry my hair in another room, and then as an idea, I thought Id ask what others thought, so I posted. I was told by a majority that i was, so after Id posted i then told my DH that I would start doing it elsewhere, and he then said no need etc. So No its no longer a problem, but I didnt know that until id been told it was a problem, then to discover that acutally it wasnt. Jeez!

Why are we selfish? Because I thought i was being harsh by waking DH and offered to move to another room? Because he said he doesnt mind? I dont get it.

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 12/01/2011 12:16

All's well that ends well Grin

It does make me laugh though when people say if it was before 7 then it's unreasonable, but after 7 it's 'fair play' that anyone still in bed then deserves to be woken up that only lazy fuckers are still in bed then... yadda yadda yadda

Why should everyone work to a timetable that other people think is the only one? People and habits are different.

Early birds
Night owls
Shift workers
People who work from home who work better at night
People who work the hours to suit them, stay up late and sleep later
People who don't work and sleep according to their bodyclock.

Some people think that being in bed after 6am is 'wasting the best part of the day' whilst others think going to bed before 1am is wasting a good evening....

There is no right way or wrong way - just individual decisions which need to be respected and discussed IF they impact others to come to a compromise.

NinkyNonker · 12/01/2011 12:22

I didn't get up till 0930 having waved DH off at 0730. The baby and I had a lovely lie in, have had a few in the last 10 days. I hadn't realised it wasn't the done thing for a grown up.

Takeresponsibility · 12/01/2011 12:33

I'm on leave this week. Last night we had an early night :o and the dishwasher didn't get loaded so I asked DP to wake me when he got up so I could load it. (Sssh feminists - He was going to work and I am loafing about doing nowt).

Did he? No he left me asleep and loaded the damn thing himself beause "I looked so peaceful asleep".

Why do I tell you this? Communication and consideration.

OP - don't ask us if it's unreasonable ask hubby?

Everyone else - agree with your own partners whether or not it's reasonable to be woken at 6/7/8 or at all. Each family unit has to agree for itself what is reasonable.

So I agree with ChippingIn (and if I'd read her post first I wouldn't have bothered typing mine, but now I have it stays!)

Original poster
glitzy · 12/01/2011 13:29

I asked MN first, as I wanted to know if I was BU, not if my DH thought I was BU.

I know I could have just asked my DH in the first place, but isnt that the whole point of MN. At least 50% of posts on here wouldnt be, if we just asked the person involved.

OP posts:
Takeresponsibility · 12/01/2011 13:31

Glitzy -

"At least 50% of posts on here wouldnt be, if we just asked the person involved."

Wouldn't that be a good thing?

Original poster
glitzy · 12/01/2011 13:38

But what would we all do with our days without them?

OP posts:
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