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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to agree that a photo is a cr*p present?!

48 replies

pinkstinks · 10/01/2011 10:49

This is a topic on TWS this morning but it reminded me of xmas, where a relative gave a huge frame containing three huge pictures of their DD to parents. Parents now feel awkward, as they hate huge photos and have small frames of each of other DGC's. Also photos are a lovely gesture at any time of the year, but don't lovely hardworking g'rents deserve a more personal present? I think it is just egotistical!!!!!

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/01/2011 10:51
Biscuit
taintedpaint · 10/01/2011 10:53

I agree somewhat, but then I have a relative who does this as the cheap option, then goes on to spend hundreds on presents for others. It's a supremely selfish act on her part, and is much like a lot of her behaviour.

I don't mind photos as presents if they are given in good spirit though, if that makes sense.

MollysChambers · 10/01/2011 10:53
Biscuit
BluddyMoFo · 10/01/2011 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Niecie · 10/01/2011 10:54

DSs's grandparents always chuffed to bits when they get a school photo at Christmas. MIL comments on it throughout the year. We do give other things but photos aren't cheap, we aren't inclined to just give them a photo for no reason.

We don't give massive ones though (8" x 6")

YABU

3Of1And1OfTheOther · 10/01/2011 10:55

Different people have different ideas on what makes a nice present- so yeah what kreecher said...:o

raindroprhyme · 10/01/2011 10:55

i did this but it was along side other presents, and they had already made noises about getting prints when thay saw the proofs.
So although i did feel it a bit egotistical i didn't care cos DS is gorgeous. Wink

gorionine · 10/01/2011 10:55

Oops just bought a digital photo frame for my mum with pictures of the DGCs she never see as in a different country. I hope she will enjoy it but am starting to have doubts now.

gorionine · 10/01/2011 10:56

never sees!

mutznutz · 10/01/2011 10:56
Biscuit
salsmum · 10/01/2011 10:57

PHEW I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY MATE Shock. On her birthday amongst other pressies I gave her a beautiful photo of us 4 '40something girls' at a wedding in a friends are forever frameGrin. Sometimes these portfolio photos can actually upset other siblings/DGC too if they go to the GPs house and see a 'cinema sized' photo of x DGC and not of them/their DGC IYSWIM?.

Animation · 10/01/2011 10:57

My US relatives are always sending us photos of themeselves - drives me nuts.

Original poster
pinkstinks · 10/01/2011 10:57

I agree that photos arent cheap, especially school ones, the ones from this relative were just printed off on their own computer and bigger than 8" by 6" each.
Poor GP's dont know where to put it as it is so much bigger than any photos they already have, their other gc's have small frames with four tiny pictures showing their growing up.
Its just this relative acts as if they are the first people to have a child!
Also grents are now talking about getting huge pictures of everyone else (they have to have things equal) but they HATE huge pictures, but would be willing to do this to make everyone equal!
and breathes

OP posts:
DandyDan · 10/01/2011 10:58

If it was a regular photo and the only present, perhaps.

We give photos of the kids to my parents for Christmas as well as other stuff, and they really appreciate it every year as they live at a distance, don't see the gc very often and don't have any pictures of them to show their friends otherwise.

Mumbybumby · 10/01/2011 10:58

DD gave all her grandparents a framed photo of her and a homemade card for Christmas and they loved it. She doesn't get to see them often as we're at the other end of the country and I always forget to send them photos.

GwynAndBearIt · 10/01/2011 11:10

Even with a different presenter The Wright Stuff is still poaching its stories from MN this was discussed a few days ago

Niecie · 10/01/2011 11:14

How massive is massive then?

Could the GPs not just put them in an album?

Are they really that bothered or are you more bothered on their behalf OP?

IThinkNot · 10/01/2011 11:15

we've given a framed photo of ds to his gps from him for xmas for the last couple of years. We then get them separate presents from us (me and dh).

They're always on about how they would like more photos of him so i hope they don't mind!

Niecie · 10/01/2011 11:17

Sorry that post was all questions wasn't it? Blush

I am just not sure why you seem so bothered on their behalf. They can stick up for themselves can't they? My MIL has limited space so tells us that she can't have all the photos of her GC out all the time. We aren't bothered - she does seem to rotate them and even if she didn't so what!?

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 10/01/2011 11:19

one of my relatives always ASKS for photos for Christmas.

Eddas · 10/01/2011 11:22

I agree that huge photos are a bit daft unless you know the person will like them. As a family we took all the GC to have a photo done for MIL for her 50th, knowing that this would be her ideal pressie. It is large and has pride of place in her lounge.

We do normally give grandparents photos at christmas, normally as we have no money and we know they'll like them. I don't think about giving them at other times of the year. Like everyone else my photos are digital and they get uploaded to the pc and then I forget to print them. I don't give them to just anyone though, only people I know will like and appreciate them. In fact I gave some to DH's father this year(first year i've given them to him) and he actually commented that one of dh and dd was lovely and he really liked looking through them.

MarniesMummy · 10/01/2011 11:30

When I first read the title I thought you were my friend who I gave a lovely framed photo of our children for christmas. It's a normal size nd she had commented that she loved the photo before.

I guess it's quite personal. I love photos. For my last birthday I got DP to get me a digital photo frame, since then I saw that the Gadget show listed digital photo frames as one of the gadgets most likely to be used initially then left to gather dust at the back of a cupboard.

Not so mine!
It holds hundreds of images of family and friends that I love and I get a lot of pleasure from looking at them.

Horses for courses I think. I do give gifts of photo's to relatives but I do try to keep them a sensible size. Most of our GP's want the biggest size that comes in a school pack , so I've taken to buying the disc and getting them printed to keep them all happy.

Original poster
pinkstinks · 10/01/2011 11:31

sorry, didnt realise this had been discussed! Blush
Iguess I am bothered on their behalf, but only because they dont like raising conflict with this relative, but I know they are worried about how all the other gc's will feel.

OP posts:
nobodyisasomebody · 10/01/2011 13:28

Well speaking as someone who had only one christmas present this year. Yabu

My ds, aged 9, framed a school photo of himself in an "I love you mum" frame"

Seeing as he organised it himself, paid for it out of hard earned pocket money and kept quiet about the photo being taken in the first place I was delighted with it and it means the world to me.

Horses for courses.

Depends on what you expect really..

Asteria · 10/01/2011 13:39

I had a professional photograph taken on my DS a couple of years ago and gave a framed (tastefully and rather expensively in 6x8inch silver or leather frames)copy of it to both grandparents, his godparents and kept one for myself. The year after they all had a keyring with the school photo in (and a calendar that he drew at school) - this year they didn't get a photo and ALL mentioned how much they liked getting the previous ones. Back to the photos next year!