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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if you're going to update your fb status during labour..

107 replies

judgeypantaloons · 09/01/2011 10:24

you should try not to be too vague?

A work colleague was induced early yesterday morning. About an hour ago, she posted her first post in labour: she "feels like she is in someone else's bad dream".

Having close family experience of stillbirth, I felt absolutely sick to read this. I don't know her that well, but had this awful sinking feeling.

Cue a lot of comments from her other fb friends clearly indicating worry e.g. "thinking of you", "hope you are safe and well","hope all is okay?" etc

10 minutes ago, update from her husband: "Good luck love, I'm off home, have left you money for the taxi, no need to get cash out".

a) Ill-advised to discuss labour like this
b) Husband is a twat.

AIBU?
So I am assuming that no catastrophe has occurred.

It all seems horrendous to me.

OP posts:
Dansmommy · 09/01/2011 10:29

The husband's update sounds like a joke to me.

twinkletweeter · 09/01/2011 10:30

Why you you be on FB during labour? Surely mobile interferes with life saving hospital equipment anyway?

World has gone mad!!! Hmm

NannyState · 09/01/2011 10:30

They sound a bit bonkers, tbh.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 10:32

em, the woman is in labour and you expect specific, detailed descriptions of what she is feeling???

YABU

i really don't understand your problem actually. why the hell would it bother you what she posts when in labour? it isn't anything to do with you if she is vague or not.

Original poster
judgeypantaloons · 09/01/2011 10:32

I know it was a joke, but that doesn't mean it's not twattish! Especially as it was clear to me from the other comments that people read the status update and were concerned. I feel if he wanted to update at that point, playing it straight would have been better.

Besides which, I never understand why spouses comment on eachother's fb statuses..

OP posts:
MorticiaAddams · 09/01/2011 10:33

I hate those mysterious updates too. I have one friend that does that but very rarely explains afterwards what it meant.

Hopefully the message from the husband is a joke and surely he wouldn't be joking around if anything had gone wrong.

Original poster
judgeypantaloons · 09/01/2011 10:33

ILoveIt, did you read my post? I said it bothered me as it sounded as though something was wrong with her or the baby.

Is there a need to post a fb status during labour?

OP posts:
flyingvisit · 09/01/2011 10:34

My husband was sent home while I was in labour. Didnt have the courtesy to leave me taxi money though!

saffy85 · 09/01/2011 10:34

Have you ever been induced? It's no picnic. What has your work collegue being induced and going into labour got to do with stillbirths? Confused

If you don't like how your friend discusses her labour you can hide her updates.

YABU. IMO.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 10:35

if i saw a post saying she felt liek she was in someone else's bad dream i would not assume something bad had happened. i would assume she was in the normal course of labour and experiencing pain.

i still don't get your issue though.

flyingvisit · 09/01/2011 10:36

Maybe she is on morphine.

saffy85 · 09/01/2011 10:37

Exactly Iloveit. Labour is painful. I know I was begging for mercy during mine and I hadn't gone through the often long, painful agony of being induced. It's a frigging nightmare.

Original poster
judgeypantaloons · 09/01/2011 10:37

Yup, I was induced. Twice, actually.

Clearly no one can read. My concern was that the status update read as though something might be wrong with the baby. I think that vague status updates from a hospital bed are generally ill-advised.

I have some sympathy for her, I do. Been there, done that (though don't really see how if you are in induction hell - and I have been - that you would be in a position to update fb).

I think the husband should have either said nothing or recognised the concern in the comments in between her update and his comment, though.

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 09/01/2011 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBolter · 09/01/2011 10:40

Tbh, if it were that that worrying, your friend would not be posting attention seeking status updates on Facebook.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 09/01/2011 10:40

Don't be silly. I was induced and might have posted the same thing had I been updating on FB. Nothing to do with you or your situation, why would it be?

And if you know the husband's post was a joke, why mention it/get wound up by it? Doesn't sound like FB is for you if you don't get how it works.

Original poster
judgeypantaloons · 09/01/2011 10:41

Why are people banging on about full detailed reports? Confused I don't really kmow why anyone would report at all!

OP posts:
TheBolter · 09/01/2011 10:41

In fact, if I were in labour I would not be posting on Facebook full stop. Still, some people seem to like participating in that kind of nonsense.

Original poster
judgeypantaloons · 09/01/2011 10:41

Sorry, Gwendoline, tell me how fb works, do.

OP posts:
flyingvisit · 09/01/2011 10:41

I do actually understand what you are saying though judgey. Most of my family is abroad and would be beside themselves if they read that on facebook.

TrinityMotherOfRhinos · 09/01/2011 10:42

but dont lots of facebook updates now just come from the texts people send

I always see 'via blackberry' or something and thought they were texting someone or something oh I dont know I love facebook but dont usually randomly post about every thing I'm doing

might start though Grin

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 10:42

ad again, i said the status doesn't read like that at all, it reads like she is in pain. if you read that and automatically deduced that something was wrong, bearing in mind that labour is painful, then i think you have an issue.

i was induced and i was able to text, same as updating fb, just because you didn't doesn't mean others can't or shouldn't. and what the hell is ill-advised about it???

people say they are thinking of people when they are in normal labour because tehy are aware it is not a pleasant experience. i have seen this in action on FB. no concern other than teh fact they know she is in pain. no panicking and trying to make a drama out of something that frankly isn't theirs to make a drama out of.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 09/01/2011 10:42

and i can read very well.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 09/01/2011 10:42

It's not up to you to know why anyone would report, it's their business. And I can read perfectly well thanks...

chimchar · 09/01/2011 10:44

hey judgy. i would have thought the same as you.

i am however paranoid and pessamistic...not a good combo! Grin

so, is everything ok with your friend?