To think I have a stalker?

[thefirstMrsDeVere]

Everywhere I go lately I seem to be followed by some old trout with brassy blonde hair and weird clothes.

The odd thing is she sort of dresses like me and looks a bit like me.

The difference is I (for eg) am wearing a lovely, flattering purple maxi teeshirt dress and boots, a black pea coat and artfully draped scarf ensemble. My hair is freshly blow dried and make up perfect,

BUT then I catch sight of this weirdo (oddly always through a plate glass window or similar) and she looks like a loon in an odd shaped long dress, hidious fuggs and a tatty jacket. Her hair looks awful and she seems to be at least 10 years older than me.

Has this happened to anyone else?

Don't tell anyone but I have found out the most brilliant way to change things...

I used to have just the same kind of stalker as you all describe - but I found that if you drink about 3 glasses of wine, she suddenly starts to look better. Her eyes look large and luminous, she appears misty and alluring, and she loves everyone (even people she's never met before).

It's bad magic though - next morning she's there looking worse than ever.

This cheered me up!! Venus love your advice..

Do you ever accidentally turn your iphone camera on to show your own face!?!?!?!

Horrible.

Well I'm pretty sure my Mum is my stalker. I look in the mirror and there she is every morning staring back at me.

Mum it's been 30 years - that flicky hair thing aint working. Give it up.

Para that's definitely a bug with the software, it definitely isn't what we actually look like.

I have a tousled blonde mane and sophisticated glasses.
My stalker has a budgie on her head and geeky NHS specs. I don't know how she can leave the house looking like she does, sometimes.

para yes done that with the iPhone camera - its one of the many many reasons why iHate my iPhone.
My stalker is an elderly, scrawny woman with a really bad haircut. And the person on the other side of the iCamera looks quite a lot like her, which is very odd.

My granny told me she looks in the mirror every morning expecting to see a youngish person and an old lady looks back at her. That's even more shocking!

Mine has eyebags. Eyebags and shabby clothes.

Depressing isn't it?
Mine is two stone heavier than me and her hair is abysmal. Her voice is a bit aggrevating too.

I keep seeing this woman who looks like me in a fat suit. She's very frowny too.

And she has the beginnings of a beard. She's horrible.

Think yourselves lucky. Mine has somehow got hold of a set of our house keys. I'm not sure whether to call the police or just let it ride for now.

I'm not sure what she is using, but it is probably tipex or matt emulsion, but she seems to pain strands of my hair a white/cream colour. Weirdly, she seems to do it just by the roots, which seems a bit of a waste of time for me.

I'm not sure if she has a thing about me or my mum as she keeps trying to imitiate my mum too. Bizarre.

I had my suspicions for years, but only got the proof when she managed to stand in front of me in every photo I was in at my DD's wedding. I don't know she managed that as clearly she's shorter than me!

But, beware, ladies - she might be up to other things as well. Here's a report on the phenomenon: www.seniorwomen.com/articles/rose/articlesRoseStranger.html

Mine waits in lifts facing the door so when it opens, there she sits in a wheelchair like a demented crippled hamster

Mine sits opposite me at the hairdressers, by the time they've worked their magic, her hair looks fab but it just accentuates her tired wrinkly face & awful clothes. She obviously realises this as when I've spotted her in a shop window a few days later her hair looks as disheveled as the rest of her.

Mine is twice the size of me and has a terrifying scowl. I would never try to take her on.

Need a laugh tonite!! This is great!!

My stalker looks like my Gran - beaky nose pointing out from between 2 fat cheeks. I, on the other hand, have cheekbones to die for and a sweet little retrousse snout.

I bought a tweed suit a couple of years back. It was sort of funky, edgy and retro on me. My stalker's version made her look like Margaret Rutherford.

There must be a crime-wave. I have recently acquired the luxury of an upstairs bathroom and when I elegantly swish my lithe naked body across the landing for a bath, there's a short stretch-marked woman with terrible posture huffing at me from my daughter's wardrobe.

this thread is making me larf

Ohhh, I so needed a laugh!

Ugh, mine is in cahoots with Tall's stalker in that she is obviously a Photoshop genius. Who is this fat haggard woman and why has she replaced me in all of my recent photos?

I don't feel like I've looked in a mirror properly since I had DS, 5 years ago. I think I am in for a shock. DH used to always say I hadn't changed since I was 16. He hasn't said that for a while.

Why was Metherbumfit's post deleted? What did it say?