To think I have a stalker?

[thefirstMrsDeVere]

Everywhere I go lately I seem to be followed by some old trout with brassy blonde hair and weird clothes.

The odd thing is she sort of dresses like me and looks a bit like me.

The difference is I (for eg) am wearing a lovely, flattering purple maxi teeshirt dress and boots, a black pea coat and artfully draped scarf ensemble. My hair is freshly blow dried and make up perfect,

BUT then I catch sight of this weirdo (oddly always through a plate glass window or similar) and she looks like a loon in an odd shaped long dress, hidious fuggs and a tatty jacket. Her hair looks awful and she seems to be at least 10 years older than me.

Has this happened to anyone else?

Sorry, not reflection. VERY CLUMSY stalker!

Love this! When I first started to read this I totally took it seriously and thought 'u stuck up cos with yer perfect makeup' hahaha thank God I carried on reading!

I'd always consoled myself with the idea that everyone thinks their own reflection looks awful and I don't look that bad to other people. Unfortunately I can't use that thought any more because when I first see my stalker I don't realise who she is. I just really do look like a double chinned, dumpy troll

You wait until your stalker has white hair and is about 3 stone heavier, with a paunch! Then you realise how many years she's been stalking you. I know I'VE kept up with the times, am smartly dressed and have dark brown hair, so why can't she!

Oh god, who is this woman. She is following me too - she is overweight, has bad hair and looks shocking whatever she puts on. Hate her. Bitch!

My stalker had the brazen cheek to follow me to karate camp and stand there frowning at me in the loos. My friend had to drag me away, murmuring 'It's ok, you don't really look like thather.'

DH sometimes has a homeless stalker, with full beard, wild curls etc

Mine is obviously a computer expert. she replaces me with a knackered looking old bint with unruly hair in every photograph.

Well I know mine uses my laptop because she's there every time I open it before the black screen lights up.

Oh yes!

She was at it again today the cow!

I was wearing a fabulous outfit. Longline, skinny fit Ramones teeshirt with lycra mini and leggings, biker boots. Hair piled up in a sexy tousled way etc.

That bloody mare turns up looking like Godknows what. I wish she would do something about her hair, it was a right mess and FFS a Ramones teeshirt!? I thought you were only supposed to wear those revived retro band logos if you were too young to have seen the band.

I wish she would bugger off.

I've started talking to mine.

I know this lady - I really do. Every time someone takes my photograph she leaps in front of me with her bloated, old head and totally obscures me and my to-die-for cheekbones.......

Fugly bitch.

Does she just look back at you in demented fashion and mouth obcentities? Mine does

I know the feeling!!

I thought I didnt look that bad when I popped out of the shower yesterday . Imagine my surprise when I turned side ways and all of a sudden I have a body double.
My god my belly is keeping my knees warm. Eugh.

'I was wearing a fabulous outfit. Longline, skinny fit Ramones teeshirt with lycra mini and leggings, biker boots. Hair piled up in a sexy tousled way etc.'

Oh stop it. It was only a glancing moment, You SOUND fab-looking!
(My scinny-mini days are over but I ROCK a chunky-cardi look!)

My lady has awful jowls appearing, and ruck sacks under her eyes,i constantly tell her if she keeps her head up, maybe it won't be as obvious, but she's got a brain like a sieve.

She hums in the supermarket too sometimes- reckon she thinks she's bleedin' Celine Dion or something...

tall I am fab looking darlink - its the mad woman in the window who looks like toss

Dont talk to me about cardis. I have a fondness for wearing them in a sort of ironic post punk way. My stalker just looks like fricking Miss Marple in hers!

Do you know what is really sad?

When I was late teens and early twenties, a few times I actually walked into full length mirrors (in the dark, in clubs!) not realising that the young, fit woman in the mirror was me.

Now I don't recognise the old fat woman!

Weren't we gorgeous? We just didn't realise it it at the time!

I KNOW! God all those years angsting about my looks and I was lovely! I wasnt pretty but I was young and fresh and full of life.

What a bloody waste. Why do we do it?