to think if you want a new qualification get on benefits!!

[TheFeministParent]

WEll not really but I have just learned a cousin of mine, after leaving her partner and taking her three dcs to live in one of the roughest estates in England (another story), has just started a degree course. As a single parent of three living in a HA house she's allowed govt help to get educated...which is great, we should support people who want to educate themselves out of poverty. However I would love to do a bit of post grad study whilst my dcs are at home (in evenings) but I can't afford it, literally have nowhere to make savings...it will make me more employable following a HUGE break to have dcs.

So why can't I get help? I have as little disposable income as my cousin.

Okay....this is not, as has no way been, a slight against people on benefits getting extra help. It is more about the injustice of help only being available to people on benefits. As a household with little disposable income I am very stuck when it comes to helping myself and would like to rely on the govt. to retrain, get a post grad or something.

nobodyisasomebody Thu 06-Jan-11 12:43:36
Just wondering how you claim to have the same amount of disposable income as your cousin

TheFeministParent Tue 28-Dec-10 11:57:15
DS1(8) is wearing Joules Jeans and Gap tops...with Uggs and a cool scarf(he's done a little modelling and loves clothes) (Not yucky try hard trendy though!)
DS2(7) is wearing converse all stars, Gap jeans, red checky shirt.

DD1(4) has a red patterned Joules dress with grey leggings and grey polo neck and Australian original Uggs..

DS3 (2) Boden green sweatshirt hoodie, Gap jeans and Uggs

State benefits don't cover that sort of expense. They don't, my children have generous gps.

TFP - if you were talking "like for like" (ie you wanted to do your first undergraduate degree like she is) then if your family is on a lowish income then you could have done something like an OU degree and probably paid very little, if anything.

But we're not talking like for like - we're talking post grad v undergrad

Fellatio the state doesn't cover childcare unless you are working enough to claim working tax credit - childcare help can be accessed through the university itself, but only if it has the funds available. And as I'm finding now it may affect benefits, so I might still be in the same boat as someone who has no funding because the university ran out.

TheFeministParent Thu 06-Jan-11 12:56:19
They don't, my children have generous gps.

Precisely.

Situations are rarely as they first seem to observers. Your cousin must have good reasons to leave her partner and move miles away.

That level of help for Lone parents is only available to parents with kids under 7 anyway.

But NOBODY gets help with a postgrad! What is your degree in that you can't use it to get a better paid job to fund your own postgrad?

I'm a little though at someone posting that about what your children were wearing.

For all we knew they could have been gifts (as they are) - or one off purchases that you saved up and treated them to. Or second hand.

You could probably do that for many low income posters on this board - link in their "not much disposable income" with a thread with them talking about something more expensive.

Blimey - just this morning I was shitting myself that my HB hadn't gone into my account - worrying about getting bills paid on time. Yet just the other day I was talking about a weeks holiday to Spring Harvest (not exactly the cheapest holiday to go on).

So imo it's totally irrelevant what the OP with a limited disposable income was dressing her children in at the end of December

I think she shoplifted them, tbh

I feel bloody lucky that I get help. No way could I do my OU maths degree otherwise. My DH works more than FT for a shit wage (

Have you tried the OU op?

I pay about about £80 a month for my (excellent) post grad degree course.

My kids do wear charity shop/Primark though!

LOL Jenai.

HAHNJ, you should get help with your PGCE, and that is only fair really. Had you chosen to do a BA Ed rather than Maths plus PGCE, you would have got help all the way through. So it is only right that PGCE students get help.

CD..What's your course?

Oh I see - thank you milly :)

I've not looked much into PGCE and GTP courses yet, as I'm only halfway through the main degree. I'm hoping that as my DCs will be in school by that time, I can go to my local uni to do it full time instead.

Balls to all this harrumph bah not fair people on benefits get more business. If someone is struggling to better themselves from a difficult situation, they should get applause and encouragement, not sniffy speculation about whether they 'deserve' it or not.

It's precisely people at the bottom of the pile who should get extra help with training/study - that way hopefully they'll be able make a better life for themselves and their kids in the future and won't have to keep taking benefits.

I get that it seems unfair if you're paying your own way and don't have much left over. Being too solvent for benefits but too skint to have fun looks like the worst of all worlds. But FGS, would you rather this woman sat there in her velour tracksuit watching Trisha all day for the rest of her life, or got out of a crappy relationship, took the help on offer to retrain and better her chances, and set her DCs an example about not taking life lying down?

Is ou funding govt money?? Or from within ou?

Also, why didn't the father try to stop the move by filing a prohibited steps order?

I am studying psychology. It is very good value - fees include tutorials, books, exam and online support.

Ou does get a grant from gov. Although it has been slashed which means fees will go up and people like me will find it more difficult to fo post grad study.

I don't begrudge anyone getting help....I really don't. Even if I was the sort to think fuck 'em about people on benefits, it's a benefit to all of us long term to assist people on benefits out of poverty.

I'm just moaning that I don't get help, it's not an either/or situation....

CD...Could you PM me with any details!!?

It sounds like your cousin chose between a lower paid job, the profits from which would largely go on childcare anyway, and a uni course which will help them all more in the longer term. There is nothing stopping you from doing the same. It's called a student loan.

"...unless the man is abusive then there's no way you should be allowed (wihtout good reason like employment) to move so far away..."

Nice.

So you would like to dictate to your cousin not only what she can and can't do to improve her employment prospects, set her DC a good example about education and exercise her brain but where she can and can't live and how far she can move from her previous home too?

You clearly don't like the woman for reasons which are nothing to do with her taking a degree course, do you?

Judgemental, you? Surely not!

Sour grapes? As if!

Vall.....you're right I don't like the woman. She used my family, especially my parents, who housed her and lent her money (when she was in somerset and earning money) which she's never paid back. She stole things from us, took things she never intended to give back including a brand new pram....

And I honestly think once you have children it is their right to have decent access to both parents, unless one has been abusive.

"She had a house in Somerset, lovely lovely place and returned to one of the roughest places in the country, she doesn't need pity. She's a selfish selfish woman who took her children to live in a place with shitty outcomes."

1. Cost of living in Somerset is going to be higher than oop north somewhere - especially once she's working again and not getting as much help with rent etc.

1. You say she returned - so she has family nearby or friends?

1. It'll doesn't have to be a shitty outcome. The fact that she's doing a degree is probably a strong indicator that they're not going to have a shitty outcome.

and do you know for a fact he wasn't abusive though??