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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want my brother to teach dd how to punch

57 replies

lampoon · 05/01/2011 17:28

My brother looked after dd today and her highlight of the day according to her was that he taught how to punch. I think this is inappropriate as she's only 5 and is going to school tomorrow and I'm now worried she might try and show off her knew "skill". DH says I'm overreacting

OP posts:

tigitigi · 05/01/2011 17:45

definitely overreacting!

charliesmommy · 05/01/2011 17:46

YANBU and I would be furious too. I can see no reason or logic to child being able to punch, or encouraged to either.

tigitigi · 05/01/2011 17:48

karate?

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 05/01/2011 17:51

My ds was doing Karate by that age.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 05/01/2011 17:51

you are not overreacting. why would a 5 year old need to know how to punch? and if you do want them to be able to defend themselves try a martial arts or self defense class, where they will also be taught, discipline and self control, patience, focus and skill. rather than daftly punching people that are kneeling down offering their chin.

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 05/01/2011 17:52

Well... He shouldn't really have done it but my grandad taught me how to headbutt when I was little and it reed up coming in handy just the once when I was a teenager. Obviously it's not good to hit anyone ever but I don't think it will do any harm tbh

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 05/01/2011 17:55

it will do harm if as OP fears the child tries it on a child in school. how many of you wouldn't be angry if your child was punched in school by this child?

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 05/01/2011 17:55

As long as the 'how to' lesson is accompanied by a 'when to' lesson (and a 'when not to' lesson), then I dondt think it's a big deal. Besides, you can provide the 'when' lessons.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 05/01/2011 17:56

too many 'child's in that post. sorry.

charliesmommy · 05/01/2011 17:56

Lets say she goes to school tomorrow and as the Op says, trys to demonstrate her new skill on one of her mates. The mother of that child is not going to be too pleased, and if the other child says "ooh I can punch harder than you".. its all going to end in tears.

Lets hope the brother also taught her how to block a punch too...

I dont think any kids should be taught to punch, but its even worse with a girl.

If my four year old grandaughter went around punching, she would be in deep trouble.

Karate isnt about punching.. lol!

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 05/01/2011 17:58

why is it worse with a girl??? please dont tell me you are of the 'boys will be boys' and violence is therefore more acceptable mentality?

charliesmommy · 05/01/2011 17:59

I should rephrase there, Karate involves punching, but in a controlled environment, and is not a fist fight. Hope that makes more sense.

I would have no problem with a child of any age doing judo or karate as it is a great sport and teaches a lot of control.

charliesmommy · 05/01/2011 18:01

Boo, as I said it isnt acceptable, but boys do play fighting games, and it is in their nature to pit physical strength against each other.. it is not the same for females.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 05/01/2011 18:05

so you are of the boys will be boys' and violence is more acceptable mentality then?

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 05/01/2011 18:06

look if it isn't acceptable it isn't acceptable, and that should be standard across the genders. you simply cannot say it is more acceptable for your son to hit your daughter thn it is for your daughter to hit your son.

charliesmommy · 05/01/2011 18:07

who is talking about boys hitting girls or girls hitting boys? apart from you?

SuchProspects · 05/01/2011 18:09

Learning to punch in isolation doesn't seem like the best situation for that sort of lesson (Karate would be a better environment I would have thought). But unless she's already got issues with hitting other kids it's hardly the end of the world. Just remind her that she shouldn't hit others and move on.

Learning how to punch properly is a really good skill and one that most girls never get taught. It's also not all about fighting. It's about learning how to use your body. Understanding about following through with the force of your movement, for instance, is crucial to being powerful in many situations. I don't see why 5 would be too young.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 05/01/2011 18:09

"I dont think any kids should be taught to punch, but its even worse with a girl."

you introduced teh level of acceptance between the sexes. i responded.

friedtoacrisp · 05/01/2011 18:09

Oh God. A gender denier. Listen loveit - there are two genders (mostly!) and they are different to one another by design. Stop fretting and go grow some leg hair or something.

Tortington · 05/01/2011 18:10

over reacting.

dd now aged 17 can throw a fine punch as she should with two brothers to contend with. the girl can hold her own and i am proud she can.

she stuck up for her twin brother through primary school when he was being bullied

it was her i saw running and jumping on the back of one of the TWO kids waiting for her twin brother outside school.

however its a testament to god parenting for your children to know when it is and when it isn't acceptable.

it would be nice if we all lived in a society where kids wern't mean at schol, bullying didn't exist and the mechanisms in place to prevent it actually worked.

in the world my kids grew up in, you had to hold your own. i always encouraged them to do so.

friedtoacrisp · 05/01/2011 18:11

callmeboo wants both genders to stand up to piss. I want to know why!

Tortington · 05/01/2011 18:12

bollocks, girls don't hit each other? don't fight? don't bully. cos they all want to study hard and wear frilly dresses

bollocks.

charliesmommy · 05/01/2011 18:12

Boo, you are clearly deliberately trying to be confrontational and twist what I said.

Males generally pit their strength AGAINST EACH OTHER

Females dont generally.

That is the general rule for nature and has been since before the wheel was invented and isnt going to change.

It is not a case of stereotyping, it is nature.

Tortington · 05/01/2011 18:13

fried - your being a total cock

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 05/01/2011 18:13

friedtoacrisp, what is your issue with having sexual equality?

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