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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that there are very few jobs which fit in with young children in school?

517 replies

jamieoliverfan · 04/01/2011 20:08

Especially considering how often they get ill (my dc started in September and has been off ill for 20 days with 2 tummy bugs, 3 double ear infections and now tonsillitis and ear infection) plus then there are all the school holidays.

Both dh and I don't want to leave our dc in before and after school childcare or childcare during the Holidays as we believe that we should look after our own child. So I would like to know what jobs could you do between 9.30 and 15.00 Monday to Friday except term time and during illness?

I have contacted supermarkets: they were not interested re how to deal with flexibility in case of illness (dh cannot take time off in these circumstances)(i.e.unpaid leave I suggested, but that was not possible). Also contacted local businesses but they thought the hours were too restricted and that school holidays would be a problem.

Is there anybody who has a job during term time with some flexibility in case of children being ill? What do you do and how did you get it?

Thanks a lot.

OP posts:
StarExpat · 04/01/2011 20:41

Moon dog
I GIVE UP

JarethTheGoblinKing · 04/01/2011 20:42

rofl @ moonbag Grin

KindleTheSky · 04/01/2011 20:42

I have to say I don't think it is easy to find work that fits around school. I had to change my job but then two of mine have SN. I work for myself as a result. However, I am lucky to be able to do so.

Litchick · 04/01/2011 20:43

I was going to say somehting supportive about it being doable. That you can manage to work around children.

Then I saw your comments about dumping children in childcare, and I relaise you don't want support.

You're just looking to be a cunt towards working parents.

So now you've done it. You've made your point. Enjoy.

chiefchef · 04/01/2011 20:43

Plenty of employers that will offer you flexible working - public sector is your best bet, NHS, council etc.

I work in the public sector and get more annual leave than my dh so I use my holiday time when kids are sick.

Covering school holidays is difficult but like lots of parents I know dh and I don't take all our annual leave at the same time to help cover it - not ideal but thats life.

However you have to really want a job and want to work. I'm not sure if I interviewed you that I would give you a job.

StarExpat · 04/01/2011 20:43

Well she phrased quite a few things badly. The dumping kids comment wasn't the only bit and she reiterates the point that she doesn't believe in anyone else caring for her dc. They aren't "society"'s responsibility ... etc. She says a lot that is quite Hmm. She's being quite judgemental of people who use childcare of any sort.

LeQueen · 04/01/2011 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

undercovamutha · 04/01/2011 20:44

Pink4ever - I don't think there have been insults against SAHM's. I think there have been derogatory comments made by OP about people 'dumping' their children in childcare.

It is however the norm for WOHMs to juggle most of the issues OP raises. Its not fun, and its not stress-free, but its the reality.

I work p/t and put my DD in breakfast club. I have to let down my employer sometimes cos DD or DS is ill. I have to share emergency days off with DH and risk his employer being miffed. I have to juggle 17 weeks of school holidays - a nightmare with no family to help. Plus I have to feel crap about doing everything a bit badly.

There is no easy way for most people. If you don't want to put up with this stress, and you can afford it, then don't work. If you want or need to work, then you have to suck it up and sort it out.

StarExpat · 04/01/2011 20:45

Jareth I'm so Blush Blush Blush.

giddly · 04/01/2011 20:45

My mother stayed at home to look after me.
She never worked. As I got older I found it a huge pressure to be someone's whole "Raison D'etre". It can be very intense, and I used to wish she did work so had some other outlet for her energies and anxieties.
This won't be everyone's experience (and my mother's character probably had something to do with the way I felt) - but just something to add to the debate as another POV.
The fact I work part time is a direct result of this expereince.

Laquitar · 04/01/2011 20:45

Cleofartra i was going to suggest childminding too as it fits with family life.
But then i read further...don't you think it would be a bit funny if she becomes c/m? Grin

StarExpat · 04/01/2011 20:45

childcare isn't "dumping your kids"! FFS

moondog · 04/01/2011 20:46

Don't be.
I have been called plenty in my time here. Smile

gordyslovesheep · 04/01/2011 20:46

I agree - I don't see any negative SAHM comments here at all

I have no issue with SAHM's - why I even have 2 or 3 close friends who are SAHM's :) it's SAHM's here who are implying that working PARENTS throw their children at passing strangers to fund a lifestyle filled with holidays, fast cars and designer clothes - I wish - I really do!!

StarExpat · 04/01/2011 20:46

Laquitar - ironic if she became a cm. Going completely against her belief system. Grin Who would choose her?

NinkyNonker · 04/01/2011 20:46

I had an acquaintance who retrained as a teacher for this very reason.

Forgetting of course that she couldn't then call in sick when her children were sick, or take the afternoon off to take them to the doctors, or knock off early for their parents' evening etc etc. Oh yes, and as they were at a different school she still couldn't pick them up/drop them off, couldn't leave when the bell went as had work to do etc. Doh.

(Husband was also in a job that had very little flexibility.)

lady007pink · 04/01/2011 20:47

I know a nurse that works weekends, while her hubby works Mon-Fri. It means they don't need childcare.

Would you consider just working weekends, or does your husband work them too?

agedknees · 04/01/2011 20:47

Could you do Fri/Sat nights in a nursing home or similar? If your dh works M-F he could look after them when you are at work.

If the dc are sick, no problem you are there M-F, he is there at the weekend.

Not much family time there though.

KindleTheSky · 04/01/2011 20:47

Oh come on you guys, she phrased it badly etc but some of this really is OTT.

Sidge · 04/01/2011 20:48

You either want to work or you don't.

If you do, you have to accept that something's got to give. Your requirements are totally conflicting with an employers.

Gemsy83 · 04/01/2011 20:48

The OP posted to be inflammatory lets not try and skirt around the issue. Dumping kids/our kids are our priority/we dont want nice cars and holidays/its our job to raise our own kids.....how many ways to offend? Yet Pink you are whining on about poor hard done by SAHM's getting it in the neck? Blimey

Violethill · 04/01/2011 20:48

OP, you're really very bitter and twisted at being left behind in the world of work aren't you??

It's ok. You can tell us. You don't need to hide behind bitchy comments to those of us who have careers ya know!

MilliONaire · 04/01/2011 20:49

pink4ever - great post!
This thread has taken a very strange turn indeed. Why are so many people getting their knickers in a twist over the fact that the op would like a job that fits abound her life.

I SOOOOOOO don't subscribe to the philosophy that your LIFE should fit around a job - that is pure lunacy in my mind once there are children involved. Surely it needs to be the other way around. I think it is sad really how much work takes over. I am a sahm by choice and I personally would not like my dc to spend more time out of their home than me if I were working (and very often the it's the dc who put in the longest hours - dropped off earliest, collected latest) but as someone else said - each to their own!

As for the comment someone made about reading Room & not being convinced that being with your parent/s 24/7 is the best thing for a child - what a load of bullsit!

Some of the comments on this thead are quite shocking really.

LeQueen · 04/01/2011 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TandB · 04/01/2011 20:50

Oh FFS. bloody "Mumsnet is offline" just as I post.

It was witty, well-considered and would have made everyone agree with me. But I can't be arced to re-type it so you will all just have to miss out.

Very brief summary - pink4ever - read the thread and tell me who has been slagging off SAHMs