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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that there are very few jobs which fit in with young children in school?

517 replies

jamieoliverfan · 04/01/2011 20:08

Especially considering how often they get ill (my dc started in September and has been off ill for 20 days with 2 tummy bugs, 3 double ear infections and now tonsillitis and ear infection) plus then there are all the school holidays.

Both dh and I don't want to leave our dc in before and after school childcare or childcare during the Holidays as we believe that we should look after our own child. So I would like to know what jobs could you do between 9.30 and 15.00 Monday to Friday except term time and during illness?

I have contacted supermarkets: they were not interested re how to deal with flexibility in case of illness (dh cannot take time off in these circumstances)(i.e.unpaid leave I suggested, but that was not possible). Also contacted local businesses but they thought the hours were too restricted and that school holidays would be a problem.

Is there anybody who has a job during term time with some flexibility in case of children being ill? What do you do and how did you get it?

Thanks a lot.

OP posts:
OracleOfDelphinium · 06/01/2011 12:30

LeQueen, but aren't your children more special than anyone else's? Mine certainly are.

(Though in the situation you describe, that particular mother should have been SAHM-ing, not messing other people around).

LeQueen · 06/01/2011 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OracleOfDelphinium · 06/01/2011 12:44

Ah, well I would. But that's why I gave up work! Grin

racmac · 06/01/2011 12:50

Well I agree with a poster earlier on - don't walk away from your career and think you will just go back to it.

I gave up work 4 years ago as I had 3 under 7 - 2 of which were newborn and 18 mths - I thought it would be easier to stay at home.

Fast forward 4 years - DS2 is at school, DS3 is at pre school and due to start proper school September - Im bored out of my mind.

Ive applied for ft job but didnt get it - Ive been out of the law for 4 years which is quite a while - other people have more recent experience and have been busy building up their careers. Not me Ive been at home for 4 years mning and baking cakes

Ive just contacted my old firm and am looking around at other places but there is so much competition out there its tough.

LolaCola · 06/01/2011 14:12

I work, but in my mind my family always comes first (although i might not say that in front of my boss!). Society has changed, more mothers have to work to pay mortgages etc, not necessarily because they want to but more because they have to. It is no longer the norm to have a mother at home and/or extended family/friends at hand to help out when a child is sick. This is the reason that the govt. introduced such policies as family emergency leave/time off for dependants. But still working parents are left juggling work and childcare, as these policies don't go far enough. The OP was slated for wanting flexible working conditions (fair enough they did want it a little bit too flexible) But, why can't employers become more flexible? It is a step forward in helping people like us work whilst looking after a family.The former Labour Govt. wanted women/mothers to get back into work. The current economic climate has forced many of us to do just that, but this cannot be done successfully without addressing these issues.

blindassasin · 06/01/2011 14:57

No one should have to take unauthorised leave for parents evening. It's only a couple of times a year if not once so employers should be able to work around it. Anyway, I've yet to hear of a school that doesnt offer appoints between 5 and 7pm ish.
Also, if for whatever reason you really couldnt get the leave authorised (and in which case I'd suggest a new employer!) most teachers will be willing to give you 10 minutes on another day to discuss your child's progress.

blindassasin · 06/01/2011 15:12

I'm not sure about all this 'my family come first' business. I mean, of course they do, if your child was taken to hospital in the day no one in their right mind would stay at work! But in the real world why do your children need to come first above EVERYTHING? Not sure that is good for their sense of place in the world.

with planning (and some befriending of school secretaries so that you know the dates as early as possible) you can get time off for most imporatant thing. My DD had 1 parents evening (in the evening), sports day (one afternoon) School play (9am) and Harvest (11am) last year... I only missed harvest and took one afternoon off and borrowed a couple of hours one morning. It's easy if you plan.

My office is very grown up though. We take the view that for some, children 'come first', for some their friday morning hangover comes first, for some their sick grandparent etc etc... No one takes the piss and no one thinks that anyone elses priority is mre important. I can't stand this behaviour where mum's think it's their devine right to have everything their own way, as with LeQueens MR.

working9while5 · 06/01/2011 15:45

Seriously though, what are you supposed to do if your child is ill and your back-up options are limited? Nothing serious, necessarily. Low level childhood illness that nursery won't accept?

I didn't want to stay off today, at all. Staying off has let down my clients. But what options did I have? Dh did last illness..

I know some people take the proverbial, but I really don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do when ds is ill that won't negatively affect my/dh's profile in the workplace.

blindassasin · 06/01/2011 15:54

Well first my advice would be to use a child minder instead if you support network is weak.

All the other times you just have to be off work, but how often is it really?

working9while5 · 06/01/2011 15:57

Well, as I said, he's been ill four times since November. No chicken pox or anything like that yet.

I had a childminder lined up who fell through at the last minute. So nursery it was. It has a three month notice period, and he hasn't really settled due to constant illness etc. Hindsight and all of that..

Do childminders take them when they're poorly?

OracleOfDelphinium · 06/01/2011 16:05

Not if they have any sense, they don't. Plus, blindassassin, is working9while5 supposed to track down a handy CM who's available just for illness? Hmm

blindassasin · 06/01/2011 16:51

No, I meant a childminder would be better than nursery as a long term solution.

They wont take them when they've got D&V or anything hugely contagious that will take up too much time away from the other mindees... but chicken pox, colds etc they will take them. Bless my first childminder, she only had my daughter so would take her no mater what as she could provide one on one care. she was like a mum to me in the end... sniff.

LisasCat · 06/01/2011 17:07

You've found a CM who who'll take them with chicken pox? Blimey. I've found CMs to be just as strict as nurseries. They've got other children whose health they have to worry about too. Plus, there's also the issue of the CM being ill - if one of the women at DD's nursery is ill, they find replacements. If a CM is ill, she can't look after her charges.

blindassasin · 06/01/2011 17:11

That last comment very true lisa! I took up lots of refences and gave a lot of attention to sickness.

Most childminders I've come across take them with chicken pox as most parents want their kids to get it if they havent had it before don't they? If they have had it before then no problem anyway.

working9while5 · 06/01/2011 17:13

This was my understanding too.. if anything, I thought nurseries were supposed to be better if you had no back-up as you don't have issues if they are off, as was mentioned.

I would kill for a childminder with my child as sole charge but not really financially feasible. Nursery barely is.

snowflake69 · 06/01/2011 17:16

I work in a nursery. We have staff who just do school hours and term time only. I take my own child in with me at the moment but she is still nursery aged. We are a 100% female team and we are always going off with sick kids and my manager is a mum and she doesnt mind.

If you need to come in late or have a day off for something you can. Also you can make back the hours if you want so you dont lose money.

susie100 · 06/01/2011 17:24

A couple of my friends have done this, given up work 'for 2/3 years' and I have gently said it will be hard to go back frankly. They are not getting the message and I have to sit on my hands a bit.

I get CVs all the time from people who have taken 3/4/5 years out and in this industry, that is it, you can't get back in.

blindassasin · 06/01/2011 17:31

It was only luck at the time that she only had my DD.

Correct susie, I'm in recruitment and particularly here in London I dont get past the first line if someones had a break of longer than 2 years. I know it's awful but my clients just wouldnt entertain it.

prettyfly1 · 06/01/2011 17:51

blind that is really interesting - is there anything you think that mums in that position can realistically do to rebuild their credibility if they are in the position of having taken a long break?

mole1 · 06/01/2011 17:52

I had more than 2 years break and managed to 'get back in', but I think you have to accept working at a lower level initially until you have proved yourself again. After a couple of years I was working at managerial level again. Also, it's not London, quite rural and there seems to be a shortage of qualified and experienced people in my field even now!

Oblomov · 06/01/2011 18:17

"because our children are the priority for us and we don't like dumping them on others. Also, we think we are best placed to look after our own children as we clearly can solely focus on them and have their best interest at heart. We specifically chose to have children so we feel that they are our responsibility not of society. Also, we do not need the latest car and expensive holidays, clothes etc. to be happy ..."

Then a job is not for you OP.

Simples.

Oblomov · 06/01/2011 18:25

Maybe Op needs to look at why her kid is so sickly.
I have 2 ds's , 7 and 2. And so far I have had to take a week off for chicken pox. Ds1 is hardly never sick so has had any days off school. Or if he has, they were on my normal days off ( I work part time, and have always done).
Maybe just luck. Maybe its that Op needs to consider why her kids who are so loved, so looked after 24/7 by her, not lowering herself to use any other care, wrapped in cotton wool.
Yet, Why are they so sickly.
Just wondered ?

donnie · 06/01/2011 18:38

to the OP: what qualifications/experience do you and your Dp have? could you work from home?

I teach in a school p/t and also supplement through home tuition and exam marking. The latter two are evenings/weekend hours but well paid (around £30 per hour). Is that feasible?

staranise · 06/01/2011 18:48

RFe. children bieng ill, the only thing that works for me is having a nanny - yes it's the most expensive option but as I have three DCs and so need all day plus after-school care, I'd need nursery plus a CM anyway (and nurseries round here are about £80 a day). It probably depends on where you live - in London nannies are quite normal as there's lots of young Aussies etc looking for work. For my sister in rural Scotland, CMs are the only option.

Regarding long break, I'd say it again - try voluntary work, preferably doing the job you used to do. Eg, I was an editor so volunteered as an editor for a local charity's newsletter. It's barely relevant on your CV whether or not it's voluntary work, they're just interested to see that you've put the hours in etc.

OracleOfDelphinium · 06/01/2011 19:04

Oblomov, it's mean, mean, mean to suggest that the OP's children are sickly because they are at home with her. Mine (all looked after at home) have had very few days off school for illness - but there was one year when they were little and they just seemed to get one thing after another. If people are lowering themselves to that level of 'debate', that really is pretty demoralising.