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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that there are very few jobs which fit in with young children in school?

517 replies

jamieoliverfan · 04/01/2011 20:08

Especially considering how often they get ill (my dc started in September and has been off ill for 20 days with 2 tummy bugs, 3 double ear infections and now tonsillitis and ear infection) plus then there are all the school holidays.

Both dh and I don't want to leave our dc in before and after school childcare or childcare during the Holidays as we believe that we should look after our own child. So I would like to know what jobs could you do between 9.30 and 15.00 Monday to Friday except term time and during illness?

I have contacted supermarkets: they were not interested re how to deal with flexibility in case of illness (dh cannot take time off in these circumstances)(i.e.unpaid leave I suggested, but that was not possible). Also contacted local businesses but they thought the hours were too restricted and that school holidays would be a problem.

Is there anybody who has a job during term time with some flexibility in case of children being ill? What do you do and how did you get it?

Thanks a lot.

OP posts:
Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 12:14

I am soon to be a sahm, where can I purchase a

Apron of Suffocating Smugness and The Wooden Spoon of Righteousness

where? I need them I tell you Grin

LeQueen · 05/01/2011 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilfShelf · 05/01/2011 12:28

I have a pretty flexible job: I'm an academic. I will pick up my kids today for example. But I will also work my arse off all evening (despite it being DH's birthday) to finish some work to deadline. And then do the same on something else by the end of the week and then possibly much of the weekend too.

The price of flexibility, is, er, flexibility. Sometimes I think it would be much easier to have an unflexible job and just fit childcare around that... which is what most people do.

But also I had to work bloody hard for years as a perpetual student on no money and then on a relatively low salary in order to get where I am now. I love my job and it is still - even with the relative flexibility - a struggle to juggle. But I made the choice to see it as a vocation not just 'earning money' and so I prioritise it accordingly, which sometimes costs my family in time.

I do think it is hard that many jobs do not fit with schooling - and whatever others say, some kids ARE just more ill than others, and some people do not have good afterschool or holiday care options - but if you want to or have to work, then you have to at least do the research into options.

WilfShelf · 05/01/2011 12:35

Should just add that we STILL use lots of childcare - fulltime nursery for DS3, afterschool clubs for DS2 and DS1 and DS2 go to holiday playscheme... Costs a fortune and we are fortunate to earn enough to be able to pay for it.

There IS a real issue for women on low incomes - essentially finding themselves with no choice but to be dependent because they can't earn enough for good childcare...

KindleTheSky · 05/01/2011 12:41

I think my MIL has some of those slippers Grin

CommanderDrool · 05/01/2011 12:42

I'd advise you to buy some Dettol, marigolds and a bottle of gin.

TrillianAstra · 05/01/2011 12:44

Have just read whole thread in order to say - I want to join kungfufuckingfantasticpanda's gang.

The question "what work fits in with school hours?" is a valid one.

There have been lots of helpful posts as to how work can fit in with school hours with minimal/no external childcare.

But it's no use anyway as the OP clearly just wanted to spout sanctimonious crap about not "dumping" her children, and doesn't appear to have any interest in working for a living or making use of any of the excellent advice that has been given.

jellybeans · 05/01/2011 12:47

YANBU

I choose to SAH for a long list of reasons. I was a full time WOHM with DD1. I am a great believer in the choice for every individual/family so wouldn't expect everyone to be a SAHP but for me it is right at this time. For us, me being at home..allows DH to do his dream job which is erratic hours, with 5 DC childcare would be too much anyway, we like one of us always being around for school events/illness etc, we never took on a lifestyle with 2 incomes so we have always lived on one wage whoch helps us make this choice. However, i do want a job when DC get older (and if DH and me ever split I would need one) so I study and do volunteer work for when the time comes. I would only work part time though till DC were late teens as I think they need someone home most the time.

KindleTheSky · 05/01/2011 12:47

True, but maybe someone else will read it. I still don't think calling her a cunt was OK.

stoatie · 05/01/2011 12:53

I am a wicked mum who "dumps" her children (well one is now technically an adult, one nearly 15 so only youngest needs care.) Used to work three days a week (and had childminder). Now back at uni re-training (for a predominantly female profession mainly staffed by working mothers - and if we all stopped working I'm sure OP would not be amused). However childminder has moved so we now use afterschool club. My work pattern varies so many afternoons I could collect DD2 from school, but ...........my "dumped" child loves the afterschool club and often asks to go for an hour or so even though she could be at home.

motherinferior · 05/01/2011 12:53

Like Wilf, I have a job that at the moment, technically, 'fits around' (oh how I hate that phrase, even writing it makes me shudder) my children. And have it because I put bloody years in first.

I am a freelance journalist. I work when my kids are at school and afterwards. But I do this job now because for all the years I had pre-schoolers I worked for four days a week using a childminder. And I do not regret that for a minute.

feedtheyakandhewillscore · 05/01/2011 12:55

I work 2 12 hour days. Kids in nursery and my parents have them in the evenings. I'm then at home the rest of the week.

If they are ill I will try parents or mil and if not then I am off. Luckily this has never happened. I also run a small business but do that at night.

I don't have to work as luckily dh earns well but if I take a long career break I would need to retrain and I worked hard enough for my job in the first.

blindassasin · 05/01/2011 12:57

stoatie, you cruel bitch Wink

I'm the same motherinferior - I figured that as a baby and toddler, my DD wouldn't suffer in the slightest being 'dumped' at a childminder. Now she's a bit older (6) she does enjoy me being able to be around a bit more and appreciates that I can be because I put the graft in when she was a baby.

blindassasin · 05/01/2011 12:59

also, I can't understand when people say they have no support network around them... get one! I knew no one in this city 2 years ago. I now have several people I can call upon day or night.. neighbours, friends, colleagues etc and I have no family nearby.

TandB · 05/01/2011 13:05

Trillian - it's a coven apparently. Although I am not sure it is mine anymore - LeQueen was going to subvert it.

Sounds a bit rude actually.

[sits and waits for LeQueen to subvert her coven]

grovemum · 05/01/2011 13:12

OP, I don't know anyone who has found the ideal job you want. When my kids were very young I worked evenings and weekends doing market research telephone work - I hated it. I was BF, had to express plus prepare the evening meals for DH and elder child before I went to work so my life was hellish for a while. I had to do it as we needed the money. I had no objection to using childcare but it is hard to find and very expensive in my area.

When my kids were older I got a full time job in an office, I could do flexi time so started at 7am and finished at 3pm. DH took the kids to school/nursery. I used to leave at 3pm and jump in a taxi so I could collect DD from nursery at 3.15pm (an hours wage). My employer allows up to 3 days paid carer's leave a year, otherwise flexi-leave or annual leave has to cover absences. DH gets a week carer's leave a year but no flexi. I can't remember taking off more than a few days a year though to look after my kids so assume they weren't sick as often.

twinterror · 05/01/2011 13:15

yes there are indeed very few jobs that allow you to work term time only and take off time when your children are sick.

teaching assistant or some other school based role (dinner lady?) are the only ones that spring to mind.

jamieoliverfan - it seems though that you are very happy not working and that you can find lots of reasons why any job would be unsuitable, so perhaps just decide that working is not for you and continue to be happy as you are?

personally, I love nice holidays! different strokes for different folks!

Guitargirl · 05/01/2011 13:23

We have a childminder who looks after the DCs and takes DD to school two mornings a week. The rest of the time, DP and I both work full-time but flexibly which means we can - apart from 2 week-day mornings - manage the DCs between us. BUT that does mean that on a Friday/Sat/Sun night, once the kids are asleep, and any given weekday night when other people are winding down and relaxing I am logging on and getting ready for several hours work. I am not complaining, that's the way it is and I am fortunate that I do the kind of work which allows me this flexibility. Am not always saying that at 11pm on a Saturday night though!

LolaCola · 05/01/2011 13:27

Hi, I just joined. I think I have picked the wrong post to start off with. Some of the answers to the OP are just plain nasty and judgemental. She was asking for advice not for you all to get on your high horses and slate her FFS

Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 13:28

Kindle, I clicked the thread thinking it would be helpful. And yes a couple of the earlier posters were out of order, but latterly so was the op. She hasn't come back to ask further information about the helpful and serious posts that were made so I can only assume she posted in in chat for a reaction.

I currently have a thread in employment at present basically asking if I should jack in my job and be a sahm, and not one person has given me shit, only balanced differing opinions and solutions. Probably as they have realised I am not showing off but have a bit of a dilemma Smile

Also 007/LeQueen and others have been helpful on here with my hijack questions. So some of us are getting help from the thread.

stropicana2011 · 05/01/2011 13:29

I'm starting a new job next week, can't wait to dump my 2 older dds in after school club. Hmm Oh no i already put the baby in nursery......message to self bad mummuy

Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 13:30

LolaCola.... not the majority though, and the hasn't been sweetness and light.

Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 13:30

and the op hasn't been sweetness and light.

LeQueen · 05/01/2011 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ellielou02 · 05/01/2011 13:36

Yabu if you need to work, that's it you need to work! Unfortunatly that's just life and we all need to get on with it, you make a decision if you want/need to work or if you can be a sahm and go with it, no need to be slating those that work and implying that we are not putting our families first, because that's all I do is put my dd's first!

I have a job where I work 1 day a week and 2 evenings (5-10) my mil helps out with during the day and I have a babysitter for at night. This happens every other month as dh works away a month at a time. It's hard at times and I beat myself up but I have to do it.