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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that there are very few jobs which fit in with young children in school?

517 replies

jamieoliverfan · 04/01/2011 20:08

Especially considering how often they get ill (my dc started in September and has been off ill for 20 days with 2 tummy bugs, 3 double ear infections and now tonsillitis and ear infection) plus then there are all the school holidays.

Both dh and I don't want to leave our dc in before and after school childcare or childcare during the Holidays as we believe that we should look after our own child. So I would like to know what jobs could you do between 9.30 and 15.00 Monday to Friday except term time and during illness?

I have contacted supermarkets: they were not interested re how to deal with flexibility in case of illness (dh cannot take time off in these circumstances)(i.e.unpaid leave I suggested, but that was not possible). Also contacted local businesses but they thought the hours were too restricted and that school holidays would be a problem.

Is there anybody who has a job during term time with some flexibility in case of children being ill? What do you do and how did you get it?

Thanks a lot.

OP posts:

NorwegianMoon · 05/01/2011 10:04

There are plenty of jobs that fit around school hours, just not in the day.

Find work as a support worker in a drug rehab centre in the evenings, work weekends in garden centres? get a job in the school? why not work 20 hours a week in an office 2 or 3 days a week bite the bullet and use after school club?

It can be done, nothing is ideal its wont hurt them if you put them with after school club a couple of days a week

Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 10:17

My Dhs job now is making it almost impossible to return to work, I am going through this right now -thanks Litchick for expressing it so eloquently

In answer to the poorly worded op. If you do not want to use childcare. You do not want to work term time and you do not want to give up your weekend. You work nights. Not evenings NIGHTS.

Its fucking hard, before dh travelled but worked longer hours than the ops dh, this is what I had to do. Five days a week from 9.30pm after ds was in bed till 3am as a night chef. Then awake again with ds for nursery. Occasionally a couple of days a week I napped a couple of hours with ds. But mostly I managed on 4 hours sleep a night... and tbh probably had mnetters peering at me suspiciously, wondering if I was one of those zombies they are preparing for

It maintained our family time and impacted on no one but me. So if the op wants a inflammatory fuck off over who's the most devoted mother then I win for taking what was, in hindsight, the utterly insane option

Now get me my perfect mother medal!!!!!

TandB · 05/01/2011 10:19

[hands over medal quick-smart before Honeydragon withers her with sarcasm]

LeQueen · 05/01/2011 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 10:21

TandB · 05/01/2011 10:23

[ponders possibility of LeQueen having a threesome with 007 and Honeydragon, freeing up VioletHill for Kungfu adoration]

Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 10:23

Thanks Leq.....

Thanks LeQueen for making her feel better about gap on cv, am currently in job at the moment but quite good pay and perks so I guess I can get the same again. I am used to people wincing when I apply for a crap but necessary job and they see my real work qualifications

LisasCat · 05/01/2011 10:24

Litchick, excellent point well made. 90% of the time I'm very happy with my decision to work, I see the fantastic care my DD receives at nursery, and life is generally quite peachy for all 3 (soon to be 4) of us. But every so often she has a wobble, and I spend those mornings walking in to my office in tears because I feel like the worst mother in the world for "dumping" her in nursery. Fortunately I am surrounded by working mothers, many of them with much older children, able to reassure me that it is just a wobble, and she's very happy there. Some of my colleagues, with children in the same nursery, even spy on her for me to come and report exactly how happy she was precisely 5 nanoseconds after I left her.

So your point about the OP was how I felt - if she wants to (and can) be a SAHM, then that's fine for her. But don't colour a post with language designed to stab working mothers.

Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 10:25

WTF happened to my post???????

why 1/2 sentence and lots of space????

MarineIguana · 05/01/2011 10:25

OK I did not understand the agenda here and hadn't seen any other threads. So maybe the OP was trying to wind us up.

But it's still a very valid question to discuss I think. I don't agree with just doing whatever you have to, sorting out any amount of childcare and always putting work first as Moondog suggested. It's also important to try to push for better conditions and more part-time work. Companies who are parent-friendly, like Penguin for example, get better staff commitment and better performance. Employers just need to wake up and stop bullying women (and more generally both sexes) for having kids and a life outside work.

One thing that would really help is equal maternity/paternity leave and the burden of this being fully on the government and not on the employer. Isn't it obvious that some employers will try to shit on women of childbearing age otherwise?

Also instead of having the "right to ask" to go part time (completely meaningless), the onus should be on the employer to prove any particular job can't be done part-time/jobshare before they say no.

TandB · 05/01/2011 10:27

Honeydragon - I thought it was a pictorial rendering of the gap in your CV...

Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 10:29

Kungfu

Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 10:30

Live update people

I have just now emailed HR to find out what notice period they want me to serve bearing in mind I'm due back Monday.

Am now crapping myself (rhetorically as it were...not literally, I don't Mumsnet on the toilet)

WimpleOfTheBallet · 05/01/2011 10:31

I think the answer for people like the OP is to use ingenuity and work from home.

That's one of the best things about the internt isn't it? That you can make money from home.

Grockle · 05/01/2011 10:40

Even as a teacher you have to go to work when the DC are sick. I couldn't have had 20 days off last term. I dont want to leave DS in before and after school care either but I have a fab childminder. It is far from ideal for me (I'd love to be home with DS) but it's the best I can do. DS is happy, I am not. That's life.

Quenelle · 05/01/2011 10:45

Thanks for your post Litchick.

This was the wrong thread for me to read today. Have been sitting at my desk this morning feeling sad and guilty about leaving DS at the childminder's for the first time since before Christmas. He'll be fine when he's settled in, it's just hard after a long break.

I'm not going to justify why I work. I wouldn't ask a SAHM to justify why she stays at home. Horses for courses and all that.

Some days these jibes from people who like to judge are quite hurtful though.

kenobi · 05/01/2011 10:48

LitChick, hurrah for you.
I am going to memorise your post and spout it in RL whenever people question my decisions (except for the bits about having a literary agent as that would just make me look mad, being as I'm not a writer). Do you have a RL fan club I can join?!

Right, back to work...

granted · 05/01/2011 10:48

Well said, Wimple - was speaking to friend at the weekend with big, high-paying corporate job (she's the main earner in her family). Two pre-school kids. She told me she now works 4 days a week, 3 of those from home. Kids in nursery on those days - but if they're sick, they can rest at home while she works, if her OH can't help.

So that's someone with a 1 year old and a 3 year old who earns a lot more than my OH - and has a 3 day weekend and only 1 day/week commuting.

These days, the internet lets you do many 'normal' jobs from the comfort of your own living room/bedroom/study.

It's just defeatist - and wrong - to say there are no jobs out there.

Google is your friend.

LeQueen · 05/01/2011 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SleepyCaz · 05/01/2011 10:59

There are some jobs that you can do, but be prepared for it to be a ballache occasionally.

We have 2 DCs aged 4 and 2. DC1 is in Reception and DC2 doesn't do Pre-School or anything yet.

DH works 9-6 every day and arrives home about 6.40pm. Twice a week, I leave at 7pm to go to work. I finish at 7am the following morning, get home just before 8am, about 2o minutes before DH leaves. He has both DCs up, breakfasted and dressed. I run upstairs, splash a bit of water on my face, then do the school run. Don't go to bed/sleep til about 8 that night after have had tea with DH.

It's knackering and a pain in the arse, but it fits around the kids perfectly. Any other hours, datyime etc, would involve childcare fees and would end up not being worth it.

If you look around, there are jobs that will fit in.

Oh.... and PMSL at doing it to afford luxuries.

GetOrfMoiLand · 05/01/2011 11:04

I am a mother who 'dumped' her daughter in childcare from when she was 3 months. You can call it dumping if you like if your intelligence restricts your vocab. Doesn't bother me.

DD is still in contact with the childminder she was with from that age. She is 15 now and is a happy, well balanced and much loved child, despite the fact I have worked 40+ hours week since near enough her birth.

There are thousands of people in the world who have close, loving and exclennet relationships with their fathers, despite their fathers working FT all the time. So why should this not be the same for mothers?

And yes, at the start working put food on the table and clothes on our backs. Without working I would have been screwed (or on the dole). But now, after working all those years, well yes my salary does pay for holidays and cars and luxuries. Which is great. I am not stuck at home with a teenager, with no skills, unable to get a decent job thinking 'fuck, what do i do'.

GetOrfMoiLand · 05/01/2011 11:06

What an excellent post litchick.

expatinscotland · 05/01/2011 11:09

Applauds Litchick.

Bravo, GetOrf!

My father had to work abroad/away often.

We have a close, loving relationship.

DasherandSmugly · 05/01/2011 11:11

I am one of the working mothers that the OP seems to despise.

I work full-time in financial services in a job that helps keep our heads above water. It's busy and it's demanding and I'm lucky that I work for an organisation that pays lip service to a work/life balance which means that most days I come in for 9am and leave at 5pm but often have to take my laptop home and work when the DCs are in bed, and I frequently have to juggle to get in early and stay late.

In addition I have a DH with a European role which means long hours and lots of travelling.

So, for my sins I have a DD in nusery c. 50 hours per week. Then I have DS at Breakfast Club, School and After School club every day and then, because I can't get to ASC before it closes he gets picked up by different friends every day and taken to their houses, to activities or to meet me on the road.

I feel horribly guilty, stressed and tired about this constantly. To suggest that my DCs are not priorities is insane - they are never far from my thoughts as I try and juggle all of this with homework, other activities, housework etc. etc. In addition I reciprocate with friends wherever possible as I'm fully aware what a huge favour they are doing for me - another addition to my guilt.

So not only was the OP badly worded, insulting and smug, it's added to the stress of my first day back at work after a lovely break.

loflo · 05/01/2011 11:12

GetOrfMoiLand - applause for your post and hats off for all your hard work

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