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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can married men have a fremale platonic friend?

94 replies

GabbyLoggon · 04/01/2011 14:13

Or married women a platonic male buddy?
this was discussed recently on radio.

A man said "sex is the drivingforce which keeps us going"

A woman said " No, MONEY is the real driving force"

Well, without any sexual contact the human race would die out.

If money vanished, we would find another way of keeping society going. (I presume)

Platonic relationships between committed
men or women
Its not going to be easy; but it can be done between an honest couple...But on occasions sex will make honest men dishonest.
( women too?)

MONEY? well its sort of one of the last taboo subjects...the super rich, Cameron says
"I am comfortable" He dare not be open and honest...the insiders say he has £30m....would 5m be less comfortable? What about £60 a week to live on?

ETON college needs to teach their students
candour and honesty...no weasel words.

I must take that picture of Cheryl off my
study wall...Platonic? Why I, bonny lass.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 04/01/2011 17:58

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expatinscotland · 04/01/2011 18:22

Sure, it's possible. And neither one of them has to be fugly, unless the man is super shallow and vacuous Hmm

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 04/01/2011 18:34

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rodformyownback · 04/01/2011 18:43

What is a fremale?

katiestar · 04/01/2011 19:16

NO

katiestar · 04/01/2011 19:16

What is a fremale?

When one just isn't enough!

wildbillhickok · 04/01/2011 19:31

My best friend is a bloke. There is no attraction between us sexually. We met after DH and I got together, doing post grad. He's like a godfather to DS (whatever the humanist equivalent would be) and often visits us as a family. DH is totally fine about it, in fact he is glad I have someone else who cares about me and supports me as well as him, but in different and complementary ways. Best friend has a girlfriend who I've never met (she lives abroad). I'm fine with that too - I'm glad he has a romantic interest elsewhere.

I guess it could seem unconventional but we are fairly unconventional peeps.

I think that it totally can work, but it depends on the individuals. Neither my best friend nor I are particularly driven by sex anyway, but if one of us was, maybe it would be a problem.

cory · 04/01/2011 19:36

Am probably fugly. Because none of my platonic male friends have ever ended up acting inappropriately. So that's all right then.

CheerfulYank · 04/01/2011 19:43

I think it's easier for women to have platonic male friends than for men to have platonic female friends.

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 04/01/2011 19:46

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CheerfulYank · 04/01/2011 20:06

Maybe it's more to do with the men's wives getting stroppy about it. :)

My husband has platonic female friends and it's not a big deal.

joydivisionovengloves · 04/01/2011 20:12

Yes, almost all my close friends are male, there's never been any hint of shenanigans in fact the very thought makes me feel a bit queasy. I get on fine with all their wives and my husband has no issue with it.

fortyplus · 04/01/2011 20:13

I have male friends who in another life I'd probably fancy like mad - but I just don't - in the same way that my brother is a very attractive man but I don't fancy him. I think attraction/flirting is about availability as well as attractiveness.

LeQueen · 04/01/2011 20:22

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maddy68 · 04/01/2011 21:18

My best friend is a bloke
most of my circle of friends are blokes
I also have some female friends, my OH has more female friends than male ones

I have never wanted to jump the bones of any of my mates!

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 04/01/2011 21:31

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GreenEyesandHam · 04/01/2011 21:35

Yes.

Except mine, mine can't :o

hatesponge · 04/01/2011 21:35

I had lots of male friends at university. Every single friendship ended up with one of us trying it on with the other, all but one was a boy trying it on with me rather than vice versa . Fair enough, we were in our teens/early 20s then so possibly to be expected.

Since then the same thing has happened with several more friends over the years. It doesn't happen any more because I am old and spherical. I do now have a very good friend, who is male and married. We are close, but I think of him like a little brother, and would never feel attracted to him. and I know he has no interest in me. Which is actually quite nice, means I can be his friend without worrying about his motives!

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 04/01/2011 21:38

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Particles · 04/01/2011 21:46

Not when you find out later that OH has drunkenly slept with several such "platonic" friends in the past and introduced you to them with no thought of mentioning it.. No more "friendships" for him - unless he wants to sleep in the shed! Grin

jasper · 04/01/2011 21:53

yes

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 04/01/2011 22:02

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Particles · 04/01/2011 22:11

Haha no luckily all before me, some a long time ago, a few more recently but his lack of honesty did him no favours with regards to our relationship. Had previously wondered why I got "spidey sense" and felt awkward about these women cooing over my baby!

mayorquimby · 04/01/2011 22:36

Your husband isn't allowed to have female friends?
haha wtf is happening to some men. Between this and the guy who cried cause he was locked in a car the other day I'm becoming worried for my gender. who are these men letting themselves be dictated to?

GodRestYeMerryMummyLin · 04/01/2011 22:51

Yes you can and i have many male friends.

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