Can married men have a fremale platonic friend?

[GabbyLoggon]

Or married women a platonic male buddy?
this was discussed recently on radio.

A man said "sex is the drivingforce which keeps us going"

A woman said " No, MONEY is the real driving force"

Well, without any sexual contact the human race would die out.

If money vanished, we would find another way of keeping society going. (I presume)

Platonic relationships between committed
men or women
Its not going to be easy; but it can be done between an honest couple...But on occasions sex will make honest men dishonest.
( women too?)

MONEY? well its sort of one of the last taboo subjects...the super rich, Cameron says
"I am comfortable" He dare not be open and honest...the insiders say he has £30m....would 5m be less comfortable? What about £60 a week to live on?

ETON college needs to teach their students
candour and honesty...no weasel words.

I must take that picture of Cheryl off my
study wall...Platonic? Why I, bonny lass.

I didnt say you wern't supposed to fancy people. I just said that the bible says that Adultery starts with the first thought of actually doing something about it! so a bit like planning to do something about it. We are only human after all!

I think transparency is the only way to go with male/female friendships and communication with your partner on every thing is key :)

I find other men sexually attractive enough to be able to say that I fancy them and would definately go there if I weren't married. But i wouldn't spend time with them and foster a friendship with them, because that would be disrespectful to my DH.

It's definitely possible but there cannot be any inkling of attraction on either side otherwise it inevitably gets off balance and weird.

It helps if both parties aren't single too.

My mum had a platonic male friend from school whom she stayed close with all her life. He gave a wonderfully moving eulogy at her funeral and I remember thinking I hope my platonic male friends say nice things like that about me at my funeral (assuming they outlive me!).

As someone else said the thing that stops you having an affair is not that as soon as you are in a permanent relationship you stop fancying other people it is that you have made a moral commitment to another and common decency and respect and love win out over a flippant attraction.I meet men all the time that I find attractive but it goes no further as I am committed to dp and hopefully vice versa!

I have no really close male friends but a few good female friends. I dont want to have sex with any of them.

It depends on the man. Some men cant look at women any other way than as sexual partners and some can.

I have been with my DH for almost 20 years (married for 14) and my best friend (apart from DH)is male.
We are both happily married but also value our friendship very much.
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that there is absolutely no sexual attraction between us - we are more like brother and sister. We like each others spouses and socialise as couples regularly too.

Other people do think it's a wee bit odd (mainly when we worked togetherand would meet for lunch etc) but only if they didn't know us -once they did they could see that it was purely platonic.

If DH was unhappy with it that would be a different story -not that he dictates my friends etc but I think I would find it uncomfortable having a friendship that caused him any concern and as my DH and partner for 20 years he is of course priority.

Oh this always just reminds me of 'When Harry met Sally' - love that film. Not much else to add really except that I dislike my oh having attractive girl friends because I feel like a dog!

This subject gets covered a lot here. From the previous discussions it appears that married people can have a platonic friend if:

• the friendship predates the couple being together

If a couple split up, it seems from this board that frequently the new partner has an jealousy issue with the friendship.

One of our female friends suggested (jokingly) she should get married to me and share me with DW recently.

DW didnt seem to mind but the friend's DH was really put out.

Yes, absolutely.

DP has quite a few female friends, who he sees regularly, on his own, for dinner etc. I have no issues with this at all.

BUT they are all friends he had before he met me - if he suddenly started hanging out, alone, with a woman he'd only just met ... I might be a bit freaked out. Just as nogreythatmatters said. Why? I guess because I figure that if the previous female friends had been 'right' for him, he'd have gone there already.

I have male friends too, though, and could conceive of meeting a straight guy who I just wanted to be friends with, and not understanding why DP was getting funny about it. Bof.

My DH's best mate is a very pretty petite blonde. They go out fairly regularly, for lunch or to a concert, and until recently they travelled together at least twice a month with work. I am entirely sure that there is nothing more than a friendship, although of course he sees that she's attractive.

Doesn't worry me in the slightest.

Yes, although I have found that excesively jealous wives and husbands are the main reasons why these platonic relationships do not survive.

Yes, although I have found that excesively jealous wives and husbands are the main reasons why these platonic relationships do not survive.

Of course you can if everyone is happy about it. Most of my close friends have always been male.

There certainly are. I thought that after I wrote it. I wasn't meaning to imply that some of them have had sex changes. I just meant that you can have platonic relationships with the opposite sex. Some sexist people and silly religions imply otherwise but they are wrong.

Yup I'm a bloke and have platonic frineds. It helps that they're all awesome at sex though.
wait
am I doing this wrong?