to refuse to tell dh about my clients?

[santander]

I'm a counsellor and I'm just setting up privately. I was going to use the nice little bedsit that we own as my rooms, but we have since rented it out. My ad campaign has been more successful than I thought it would be and I have 3 clients that are starting this week. Dh and I discussed it and we aggreed that the clients could come to our home for the time being until I find premises. We have a largish house and I have worked out where to see clients so they will be comfortable and private.

I have chatted with the clients on the phone to ascertain their suitability for counselling and also for coming to my home, as much as one can do in a telephone conversation - I have a reasonable amount of experience in filtering out people that should be referred elsewhere but of course you can never be sure until you know more about the person.

Anyway, my dh is now insisting on knowing who is coming to our house and what they 'are coming for'.

I have point blank refused to agree to give this information to him. It is in breach of the code of ethics I work by. He says our safety is more important than anything else. I say that he should not be questioning my judgement and the screening of the individuals should be my responsibility. He says that we are in this together. I say that yes, we are, but I am the trained professional and I will not put our safety at risk. He says what if I famcy a challenge of a difficult client and decide to take them on regardless? I say he is QUESTIONING MY JUDGEMENT and I am insulted to be honest. I am taking it personally but lets face it, it's personal, right? But I still am not prepared to compromise my integrity by giving him information that would be no more useful to him than it had been to me, if you get my meaning? I mean, if I (the trained professional) had not spotted the hidden axe murderer in the 10 min phone conversation with them, then how pompous to assume that he could? It is simply unnecessary and immorral and I won't do it. Of course it had now become a matter of personal affront, I feel he has given me a vote of no confidence - I have a supervisorm whom I employ to help me with my caseload. This should be enough I think.

So, rant over, am I being unreasonable?

That's so true midori. Assumptions about counselling and mental health are that people who seek help are unpredictable / violent. I can count on one hand the people who I've felt threatened by in over 10 years practice. Most of them came from legitimate industry referal routes (counselling employees). Whereas doing youth work in a school I met dangerous people all the time - and I don't mean the young people boom boom.

If he's worried about your safety, perhaps you could look at getting a lone worker alarm? You can find NHS certified ones for outreach health workers, that would be just fine.

On the other hand, if the real problem is that he's uncomfortable with having strangers in his house, then you need to make use of your training and talk it through with him.

I meant to add that of course you don't disclose your clients' personal details to your husband. That's practically rule number one! But your DH's concerns have some validity and of course it's his home too. Talk it through.

I thought you had to be accredited to now be a counsellor? i.e do unsupervised counselling?

YOu would need to have seperate insurance to cover your clients as they will in effect be in your business premises. You will also have to have up notices with regards fire evacuation etc.,

You may also have to have fire extinguishers.

Supervision in Counselling is not suggesting that the counsellor is unqualified or newly qualified - it is part of their ongoing professional life.

Classydiva at this stage anyone in private practice can call themselves a counsellor, until we are regulated as a profession, which process is still being negotiated.

But to be employed as a counsellor one must be accredited or eligable for accreditation (ie have completed appropriate training, be a self reflective practitioner, be in supervision, have completed a certain number of hours etc).

midori - that was also kind of my point - I went to therapy for two years and am happily married, employed, supportive family yada yada. I just was indulging in some repetitive behaviour I needed to sort. I exhibited a total and utter failure of desire to go on a therapist axe rampage the whole time I was there. I tell people in RL that I went to a therapist as I think the stigma is daft. What's really interesting is that several (also high functioning) people have come up to me afterwards privately and asked for the therapist's number.

I also wasn't suggesting any client's names or personal details were offered, more that in the vaguest of terms that clients are here for depression/bereavement/relationship breakdown so he might be reassured.
But I consider myself corrected that that also breaks client confidentiality!

Could you be reading more into his reaction than is really necessary? You are choosing to get all affronted and claim he is QUESTIONING YOUR JUDGEMENT (your caps) and have become insulted. Is that all really necessary? Obviously working in the field you know that issues of confidentiality are paramount - but he doesn't perhaps get this.
Personally I think he has a reasonable reaction in fearing for your and your families safety. (Perhaps not reasonable to you, the specialist, but reasonable from his perspective).
I think you should calm down and talk about this. You can tell hime generalities about the types of patients you will be choosing to see, and explain they will not be individuals with schizophrenia or other psychotic illnesses (I expect, though I could be wrong). If he is still feeling uneasy perhaps rent a room somewhere where there are other therapists working.