to hate my family

[Needanewname]

Ok this is my dads family.

Bit of background, mum and dad split when I was tiny and dad has been a pretty crap father - actually hes been bloody useless but thats a whole other thread.

When his dad died (about 15 years ago) I wasn't told til a week later.

Well I had a phone call from a cousin today to let me know that her brother and his wife had had a baby today - really, didn;t even know they were expecting.

Don't know why but for some reason this really upset me (that yet again I've not been told about soemthing important)and it was embarrassing as we were over with friends at the time. You'd have thought I'd got used to it by now.

Just wanted a rant really, probably out this in the wrong section though!

It's easy to lose track of cousins if they're not local and you don't really keep in touch with them.
Are you going to send them a card?

you have a right to be upset if they didnt tell you, its your family and they shouldnt leave you to find out things when they get mentioned in conversation

I'm not in touch with cousins really, I may hear news like that along the grapevine. I think what you're probably upset about is that it's reminded you of your poor relationship with your dad. So, yanbu to feel upset.

Of course I'll send a card, its lovely news but I am pissed off and angry with them, though I really shouldn't be, I;m always the last to hear anything, I don't get invited to things (a huuuuuuuge party years ago where everyone went, all long distant cousins etc)I was the only one not togo as I wasn;t invited, actually I was but they didn;t tell me as they thought it would be disruptive as I was in the middle of my exams (I wasn't)

I suppose this sounds very trivial but its yet another example of how very crap they are.

I know what you mean. My cousin had a huge wedding last year and all the cousins except me and my sisters were invited. My dad went with his new girlfriend (who they had never met!!) I justified it by thinking that I wouldn't have invited her to mine either, nor did I let her know when I had my dcs. They aren't purposely leaving you out iykwim, it's just that youre obviously not close with that side of the family. If you want to pursue a relationship, make a phone call and see if you can start to build one.

I think its too far gone for that. this has been going on for years and I decided last year to distance myself from them, they obviously don't care.

I think I'm more shocked at my reaction than what they've done iyswim

Yes, your reaction has more to do with your dad letting you down rather than them. I'm not close to my maternal cousins either but it feels more of a loss when I feel like I'm missing out on something with my paternal cousins. That's definitely because my dad was shite too and I felt like I missed out on a relationship with him.

You're probably right,just cross with myself!

Needanew, You sound nice. Friends are the new family. It's sooo much easier.

Totally agree tallwivglasses, the friedns I was with are espeically lovely!