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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off that strangers assume I'm racist?

199 replies

tallwivglasses · 31/12/2010 11:37

I need a new porch (about £3,500-worth of work Sad ) and a builder came and looked at it this morning.

As some of the wood on next door's adjoining porch is rotting, he asked me if the neighbours would be amenable to paying for the repair of their side. I replied it was a rented house and the landlord had ignored me in the past but wasn't too bad. 'Ah', he sneered, 'Indian, Asian by any chance?'

I replied 'Yes, but I'm not racist and I don't employ racists. Goodbye'.

So he lost the work. Idiot. It's the same with a lot of taxi drivers - harder to escape from those unfortunately but they don't get a tip.

Why do people automatically assume I'm going to agree with their hateful, bigotted views?

OP posts:
MrsThisIsTheCadillacOfNailguns · 31/12/2010 22:16

We had an interesting trip with a taxi driver who went on and on about how the EDL were right to march in Leicester and he was fed up with the 'muslim extremists'.He was a Sikh.He was the first racist taxi driver I'd come across,but I only take a taxi once every 5 years or so.

Lovecat · 31/12/2010 22:43

Second rented house I ever lived in had Asian landlords.

Place was immaculate. Nothing in need of repair and maintenance regularly carried out. The wife of the partnership used to give us messy student types hell on their inspection visits for not keeping it to her high standards. Funny, that.

Am astounded by the number of people on this thread who think this wasn't a racist remark by the builder. TWG, hope all goes well with the porch!

scattermummy · 01/01/2011 09:50

tallwivglasses tell john downing the builder that katie from heaton recommended him

ccpccp · 01/01/2011 10:22

"That is why it is important to have the evidence to back up the claims - my problem is I cannot get as far as gathering the evidence because as soon as it is raised as an hypothesis it is slapped down as stereotyping / borderline racism." - lenak

And if your evidence did point to any trend, it would be hushed up anyway.

I dont like racism but the problem I see is that racial concerns are more importnat than truth nowadays. It could well be that asian landlords have a deserved reputation for keeping their tenents in slums, but no-one would wver be allowed to say this officially and so the problem will never be addresses.

Its all about control of language. Tell people what they can and cannot say and you

Inkipinkiponki · 01/01/2011 10:22

I had some renovations done by a local builder Wasn't some random. Was recommended by friends.

After being at our home every day for the best part of 8 weeks we became quite friendly.

He told us that when Indians wanted a quote for renovations he deliberately gave a very high quote so that they wouldn't use him.

His reason being that they wanted the best of everything for the lowest prices.

He wasn't being at all racist just practical. He said it just wasn't worth the hassle.

Maybe this chap had experienced the same thing previously.

NewYearNewPants · 01/01/2011 10:26

The people defending the builder are crazy. He sounds like a prick. Making lazy assumptions based on stereotypes = wrong. Well done OP for telling him to naff off.

TheFeministParent · 01/01/2011 10:31

FFs get over yourself OP. Perhaps the builder is aware of the culture of Asian's in Newcastle which often means they are more careful with their money. When I lived in Leeds the worst student houses were owned by Pakistanis.

You can make generalisations about race/culture without being racist.

ccpccp · 01/01/2011 10:33

Damn these fat fingers.

"That is why it is important to have the evidence to back up the claims - my problem is I cannot get as far as gathering the evidence because as soon as it is raised as an hypothesis it is slapped down as stereotyping / borderline racism." - lenak

And if your evidence did point to any trend, it would be hushed up anyway.

I dont like racism but the problem I see is that racial concerns are more important than truth nowadays. It could well be that asian landlords have a deserved reputation for keeping their tenents in slums, but no-one would ever be allowed to say this officially and so the problem will never be addressed.

Its all been about control of language for the last 13 years. Tell people what they can and cannot say, even when what they are saying is grounded in reality, and you are going to force people into the hands of the BNP.

MadameCastafiore · 01/01/2011 10:43

He isn't making assumptions about you at all - he is making an assumption about the landlord!

SugarMousePink · 01/01/2011 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lovecat · 01/01/2011 11:25

The feministparent I can't believe you actually typed that sentence

'you can make generalisations based on race/culture without being racist'

Are you for real? Shock

Making generalisations about a group because of race or culture IS racist! It's practically a textbook definition of the term!

As for that builder of inkipinki, how the hell did he know that every Asian would want the job done like that? Racism. The fact that so many MNers seen to think this isn't racism and are getting so get up about it suggests to me that they hold the same piss poor attitudes. Which is scary.

Lovecat · 01/01/2011 11:27

Get = het

Damn auto correct!

Lovecat · 01/01/2011 11:31

Get = het

Damn auto correct!

Lovecat · 01/01/2011 11:32

And now I'm posting twice...

amummyinwaiting · 01/01/2011 11:32

I was going on an anti-bnp leaflet drop last year. The bus driver (I was the only one on the private bus laid on for it at the time) asked me why we were going to the place for. When I told him he said that he was going to vote bnp. I went on about there lies etc for the next 5 mins and we sat in stoney silence for the rest!I left one of the leaflets for him though.

sobloodystupid · 01/01/2011 11:37

Went to a the pharmacy yesterday to get prescription filled for dd. (Pharmacist had been really lovely in the past,one time had offered to give me stuff before without paying and to pay her another time when I had the money, generally helpful beyond the call of duty, blah blah).
There was a bit of a queue inside. She apologised for not serving me immediately after the other people had gone but saying that there was "too many of them in the shop" and she had to keep an eye on them. They were travellers, I feel so disappointed in her...

claikit · 01/01/2011 11:39

Woman outside m&s trying to get people to switch energy suppliers to m&s energy advised me not to worry no foriegners will be answereing phones at their call centre!
Needless to say havent switched to m&s tho am sure not their official line. Intend to let m&s know.

TheFeministParent · 01/01/2011 11:43

Lovecat....No it's not.

We can generalise, based on evidence, that Pakistani Landlords in Leeds in the mid nineties were shit, their houses were filthy and in a state of disrepair. I'm sure a builder who has been in the industry for some time has judgements that are pretty valid.

A bailiff told me that Asians (Chinese/Indian/Pakistani) are less likely to pay him at the door and only when threatened do they come up with the money. I didn't think he was racist I thought he had had experience that gave him those views.

TheFeministParent · 01/01/2011 11:50

Claikit....Non foreign call centres is a bloody good thing, means UK employees and easy to understand general English language.....nothing worse than asking a call centre person to repeat themsleves time and time again because their accents are so thick.

See this is when people cannot truly identify what racism actually is.

And as a child of shopkeepers travellers were notorious for stealing all the time and with arrogance that would make anyone go mad.

sis · 01/01/2011 11:52

Thefeministparent, what if the OP had been male and the builder has sneered and asked if the landlord was a woman? If that was based on his experience of women landlords would it have been perfectly acceptable assumption to make that all 'poor' landlords were in fact women?

mutznutz · 01/01/2011 11:53

"too many of them in the shop" and she had to keep an eye on them. They were travellers, I feel so disappointed in her...

What if they were teenage hoodies, would you feel disappointed then?

Whenever travellers settle here for a few weeks, our local parade of shops reports a 70% rise in shoplifting. I've been there myself countless times when they've had to chase them from the shops.

Now, that does not mean ALL travellers are thieves but do you not think it would make pure sense to serve them and get them out of the shop quickly so they can concentrate on their job instead of constantly worrying it's going to happen again?

In the same vein, our local off licence often gets descended upon by lots of teenage hoodies all at once, and the owner likes to serve them quick and get them out too...this doesn't disappoint me as it makes perfect sense.

Lovecat · 01/01/2011 11:55

If you can't see that it's the generalisation that's racist, that tarring everyone of a particular race with the same brush without finding out the truth about an individual is lazy, knee-jerk racism, then I despair, I really do.

As your name gives the impression that you're a feminist, if i were to say to you that in my experience loads of women are fashion-obsessed airheads, therefore any other well-dressed woman is likely to be the same, you'd be appalled. (I hope).

So why is race fair game?

Lovecat · 01/01/2011 11:59

If you worked in my organisation you'd have failed your diversity training and quite frankly been on a warning with attitudes like that.

And I do know what racism is. I've suffered from it.

TheFeministParent · 01/01/2011 11:59

He is a local builder not a fucking construction company. Honestly..

Lovecat · 01/01/2011 12:05

Why are you so cross?

Answer the point re. if it was a woman.