About not caring...........

[UnderTheRadar2212]

Whether or not I got an Xmas present from my OH - Christmas is about much more than presents.

In being grateful for what we were given as presents from family & friends - even if it's not what we 'expected' or what was 'on our list', we were brought up to say thankyou anyway.

In not giving a right royal toss whether Xmas dinner contained frozen roast potatoes, or fresh cooked, our dinner was enjoyed by all anyway............

Discuss >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Oh god I can't believe I'm going to reply to an OP that says 'discuss' Lol grits teeth

But I have to because I think you're 100% spot on! Every year on the internet you read people whinging and whining about not liking their presents...often the exact same ungrateful gits can bee seen moaning that their kids are...well ungrateful gits!! I wonder why? Lol

I wouldn't worry about the presents but frozen roast potatoes... sorry can't find a vomiting emoticon.

We always have very good Christmases and are very lucky on the whole to have good family members and friends to share them with.

My husband 'gave' me his free upgrade phone and has agreed to teach me how to speak Sweedish over the next year.
My Children made me cards and clay models I will trasure till the day I die.
We had a wonderfull Christmas dinner with Microwave in the bag veg and AUnt bessies best with our Turkey, and all were stuffed and had a fantasic and more importantly stress free time.
I had one of the happiest Christmases of my whole life this year!

Of course it's not supposed to matter, and publically it doesn't if you're polite and care about the feelings of the other people around you.

But if your DH didn't buy you anything for Christmas I would be wondering what that said about how he felt about you. It isn't about the actual present it's the effort, but as present giving is the norm why would he not make the effort?

The only people I know who didn't give presents to each other were ones who were on the verge of a divorce and didn't want to show they cared, because one of them didn't. It hurt the other person very very much.

Ha ha!

Well, I had to do it Mutz, just for the hell of it.............

FWIW, me & my boy go see his Nan every Xmas day, cook her dinner then take it up to her, cos she'd be on her own otherwise.

We get our Xmas dinner later that night, or Boxing Day, cos she comes first.

I read all the carp on here 'me/my kid didn't get the desired present' etc.

Xmas is about much more.

Ho hum.

And also - I appreciate what people do for me throughout the whole year, not just on Xmas day with a gift. Just me like.

Last year DH and were skint so we agreed to spend anything up to a tenner on each other. This year, we had a bit more cash so both spent nearer £100. Both years were lovely. it's not the amount you spend, but I do think having your OH going to the effort of choosing a present, wrapping it and lovingly handing it over on Christmas morning makes you feel valued. Especially as nobody else seems to buy us presents these days.

In the past I have been very judfemental about my parents frozen roast potato habit. This year, 25wks pg and struck down with the flu, I would have given away every present in the house for a full on frozen Christmas dinner straight out of the box

I had frozen roasties, they were yummy, did have fresh veg though, normally don't as Im the only one that eats any veg, even had a fresh parsnip.

I couldn't agree more...and when you look around you at the proper poor people or those who have a loved one in hospital etc...it's very rarely them doing the moaning but more the people who seem to 'have it all'

My dsis has 2 disabled children, she cooked a lovely xmas dinner for 9 people including my Dd3 who rarely eats at social gatherings.

The dinner was fab and guess what, the roasties were out of the freezer!!

Who cares, not me and certainly not Dd3 who cleared her plate.

Well done OP for starting a sensible thread.

I can assure you agent we are very far from on the verge of divorce. Effort should be every day not just stressing over one gift for Christmas.. the salve of many a straying soon to be ex

I just brought a drink out through my nose laughing at 'frozen roast potato habit' Lol...makes them sound like junkies who just cant get off the Aunt Bessies!!

My lovely OH paid for my car insurance in October - I need my car to work.

No, it wasn't a 'present' and no, I didn't have a gift on Xmas day (neither did he, but that's the way our finances are) but we didn't care.

YANBU. Good for you!

Thanks Guitargirl.

And glad you also had a good Xmas Maryz.

:)

i don't give one jot what my DH spends on my present and i don't care very much what it is but i DO care that he thinks of me.

most of the threads on here about bad present buying DHs/DPs are not about the present but about a lack of thoughtfulness or kindness.

thoughtfulness and kindness are all that matter at christmas.

[slushy vomit emoticon]

Yeah, you've said what I was trying to say fluffles

I agree with all the positive sentiments that go with Christmas, but when you add into that mix the complex and often very emotional relationships that go on between people, it's not always easy for it to live up to what you think it should be.

I'm not talking about myself, as I'm another one who couldn't care less about what I get, and I appreciate and am appreciated the whole year, but it's not all black and white.

I think we can be a spiteful in our definitions of what should be good enough for Christmas, or any other time of year, when most of the real good enough factors are about emotions and can't be measured by how you react to gifts or food.

Going out of your way to show people you are thinking about them and care about them is what Christmas is about to me.

People can show that whatever way they like, and whenever people are upset it is usually because they feel they haven't been 'thought' of in whatever way.

mutznutz - Well, they did once manage to collect an entire dinner set from shopping at Iceland