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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be peeved that they are using DD's name?

76 replies

LifeIsButtercream · 29/12/2010 12:49

I might be BU, but this is bothering me (and not in a 'I got there first' way)!

My brother (who I have little contact with, other than via my parents, due to his behaviour towards my family and me - long story) has announced that his 17yr old on/off girlfriend is pregnant, and if the baby is a girl they will be naming it......

..... the same name as my 20m old DD, INCLUDING the same middle name. AND surname.

DD's name is relatively popular (in the sense that I know another mum with a daughter with the same name, but its not so popular that there are several of them at each toddler group etc). Middle name is not a commonly used name.

Brother's girlfriend (who I have never met) has apparently set her mind on it after hearing my DD's name, and she is rather stubborn (I've been told many times) and wont contemplate another name.

AIBU to be a bit narked, as I think this may cause a lot of confusion, especially for my parents and grandparents (both my surviving grandparents suffer from dementia) who will be having regular contact with the new baby, who to cap it all off, is due in the same week as my DD's birthday.....

AIBU to be secretly hoping it is a boy? Or she has a change of heart?

OP posts:
prettymuchapixiegirl · 29/12/2010 12:51

YANBU, I could understand to an extent if they chose the same first name, if it was a name they had always liked, especially as you don't have any contact with each other. However, to choose the same middle name too is blatently copying you and is quite childish and piss taking IMO

DontLetTinselDragOnTheFloor · 29/12/2010 12:52

That is perhaps the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard - them, not you.

IAmReallyFabNow · 29/12/2010 12:53

What DLTDOTF said.

rubyslippers · 29/12/2010 12:54

Bizarre and unimaginative

Chil1234 · 29/12/2010 12:54

Relax. Expect, if he has a track-record of 'behaviour', he's just winding you up. You don't have much contact, you've never met the girlfriend and you probably won't meet the baby either. I'm sure your elderly rellies will muddle through.

activate · 29/12/2010 12:54

Laugh at them openly - tell them how pleased you are that they love the names you chose so much that they are happy to copy them despite the obvious explanations they'll have to give throughout her life.

Stay positive throughout.

they are most probably winding you ip

swanandduck · 29/12/2010 12:54

YANBU. I think your DB's girlfriend is behaving like the immature teenager she is. I would make it perfectly clear to them that you are furious with what they are doing.

Parsgirl · 29/12/2010 12:55

Eejits is your brother just trying to wind you up?

RockinRobinBird · 29/12/2010 12:57

Bizarre behaviour. One thing to like the same name etc but to set out to call the child exactly the same name as yours is weird. All you can do is laugh in their faces and secretly hope they change their minds. If they're daft enough to do it in the first place then you openly challenging them is only going to make them dig their heels in.

Chil1234 · 29/12/2010 12:57

Noooo!!... don't say you're furious. That's the whole point of this little charade. "What can we do that will put sister that I don't like's nose out of joint?! LOL!" If you react they'll do it. If you don't react they'll probably not think it's so funny.

AuntiePickleBottom · 29/12/2010 12:59

if you got any other children, then i would ask if they are planning to use there names also.

swanandduck · 29/12/2010 13:00

You're right. I take back what I said. Just completely ignore them or, as others have said, act as if you're highly amused.

ratspeakeratsolstice · 29/12/2010 13:01

Given that you daughter is older your brother and gf are going to look really silly and unimaginative in years to come, not to say weird
Take it as a form of compliment, they obviously envy your beautiful child

btw YANBU

PeeringIntoAFestiveVoid · 29/12/2010 13:02

YANBU how utterly bizarre. Shock
I agree with laughing openly at them, and don't under any circs let them know they've riled you. They're the ones who'll look ridiculous and pathetic.

Original poster
LifeIsButtercream · 29/12/2010 13:05

The thing is, I dont think it is a windup - I only found out about it through my mum, I was never actually told!

I would LOVE the opportunity to laugh in their faces!

My parents see my brother quite regularly, and will be seeing the new baby regularly, and I live very near to my parents, so the new baby and my DD will often be in close contact, if they were a long way away and would never really see them then I wouldnt be too worried.

OP posts:
taintedsnow · 29/12/2010 13:08

Bloody hell, is your DB a complete twat? He and the girlfriend are going to look as dumb as a box of rocks for doing this. What idiots!

YANBU to be pissed off though, but I would simply laugh at them.

If they are serious, they are clearly morons.

baabaapinksheep · 29/12/2010 13:12

At the end of the day it will be fairly obvious to EVERYONE that they copied you as your DD is older than theirs.

It may be funny to them at the moment, but they will regret it in a few years when they realise how riduculous it is.

Just laugh at their stupidity.

FakePlasticTrees · 29/12/2010 13:14

Do you have his e-mail address, I would suggest the following:

Dear [idiot DB]

I was so thrilled to hear if [gf] has a girl you'll name her after DD! It'll be so sweet to have [dd's name] 2 around! (of course, you'll have to think of a nickname if you don't want her known as 'the other [dd name]' or '[dd name] 2'! )

DD will be so happy you will use her name rather than something individual. And I'm sure your daughter will love having an older cousin who's been there, done that all first so she can copy her as she grows.

I've lots of clothes I can hand down, you won't even need to change the name tags in them!

Hope [gf]'s pregnancy is going well. If she wants to contact me to discuss anything, she's welcome too. Those first few months with [DD's name] were so precious for me, I'm sure your first few months with [DD's name] 2 will be equally wonderful.

love and hugs, etc

swanandduck · 29/12/2010 13:15

Did your mother not tell them to cop on and stop being stupid?

diddl · 29/12/2010 13:22

That´s really wierd & they will look stupid imo.

Maybe they have no ideas of their own.

APixieInMyMulledWine · 29/12/2010 13:27

YANBU

That's very bizare and I would be quite pissed off.

DontLetTinselDragOnTheFloor · 29/12/2010 13:27

Send them a link to this thread under the pretence of recommending the site to the girlfriend.

ChippingIn · 29/12/2010 13:27

I'm suprised your Mum hasn't told them not to be so fucking stupid & to grow up. How old is your brother?

whoneedssleepanyway · 29/12/2010 13:30

what a pair of clowns have they no imagination of their own...? they are going to look like idiots.

fin54 · 29/12/2010 13:32

My husbands great neice did this to my daughter, which means my MIL has a great grand daughter and a great great grand daughter with the same name, some people are sad who have to copy others.
Just put it down to her thinking you have fantastic taste in names lol thats what we have done