to be peeved that they are using DD's name?

[LifeIsButtercream]

I might be BU, but this is bothering me (and not in a 'I got there first' way)!

My brother (who I have little contact with, other than via my parents, due to his behaviour towards my family and me - long story) has announced that his 17yr old on/off girlfriend is pregnant, and if the baby is a girl they will be naming it......

..... the same name as my 20m old DD, INCLUDING the same middle name. AND surname.

DD's name is relatively popular (in the sense that I know another mum with a daughter with the same name, but its not so popular that there are several of them at each toddler group etc). Middle name is not a commonly used name.

Brother's girlfriend (who I have never met) has apparently set her mind on it after hearing my DD's name, and she is rather stubborn (I've been told many times) and wont contemplate another name.

AIBU to be a bit narked, as I think this may cause a lot of confusion, especially for my parents and grandparents (both my surviving grandparents suffer from dementia) who will be having regular contact with the new baby, who to cap it all off, is due in the same week as my DD's birthday.....

AIBU to be secretly hoping it is a boy? Or she has a change of heart?

If this stupidity does go ahead I would be telling my parents that I do not, even once, want to hear my daughter being referred to as 'Big x' - they can call the little one Little x, or nickname or whatever the hell they like, but my daughter, the original will only be called x as she is now. Foot down.

Chipping I would be so pissed off if anyone started referring to my DD as 'Big x', am actually a bit worried about how DD will react to this if suddenly there is a new baby on the scene with the same name, she'll be at an age where her identity is still something that she is exploring and becoming aware of.

It does sound rather ridiculous... is there any way your brother and his GF could be teasing your mum? I'm thinking back to before our DDs were born; if people (including my mum) asked about the names we were thinking of we would tell them something so silly that it was obvious that wasn't it. It usually stopped any further prying.

If you do e-mail your brother I think I'd be inclined to include a "Mum has said that if your baby is a girl she will be named after her big cousin, [DD's name]. I'm touched and know that DD will be thrilled to have Little DD's Name. If you aren't really intending to call your DD Little DD's Name then it might be a good idea to break the news to Mum sooner rather than later so she doesn't get ahead of herself".

What a bizarrely stupid thing for them to do. I agree with ChippingIn - why hasn't your mother said something?

Poor child - fancy being given the exact same name as your cousin - you'd be embarrassed to admit your parents were that lacking in imagination and though processing, wouldn't you. :(

I have a very similar name to a cousin of mine (think Mary/Maria) but we have different middle names, different nicknames and she's about 15 years older than me. Plus the name she gies by isn't even her first name IYSWIM.

Doing it intentionally is just strange. They've got to be winding you all up.

Is your brother doing this to make amends for his past transgressions? It could be a very strange way to get back in your good books, imitation being a way of flattering.

take it as a compliment and relax!

That's so ridiculous. What on earth did your mum say when they told her/when she was telling you?

I bet they won't go through with it when it comes to it but if they do - they are the fools and will look mightily stupid, and no doubt will be starting one of those "How do I change my baby's name?" threads on netmums by the time she's 6 months.

Fingers crossed it's a boy and the whole thing just goes away (assuming you don't have a son).

on netmums - does that work?

DD is my only child.

I think my mum has had a word with my brother (girlfriend refuses to talk to my parents) and he has said that its what his girlfriend wants, and she gets her own way.

Start telling everyone how happy you are that they have chosen to name their child in honour of yours. That they must love her so much to want to name their child after her. How great it is, how important your child must be to them, what an honour it is that the child will be named for your daughter, etc etc

I bet they change the name

YANBU but it is they who will look stupid and like copycats. Chances are, though, that it will be a boy or they will change their minds before the baby is here. Don't let it get to you, just laugh it off and laugh at them!

Weird, normally on MN you get called mental for not wanting someone to use your child's name. Middle name is irrelevant really.

Yanbu. I'm also surprised your mother hasn't said anything.

Yup, what the v wise Hec says.

Gush about how wonderful it is that he admires you so much and how lovely it is that his gf wants to be just like you and how much you are looking forward to DD's Name 2 or Other DD's Name being born.

They won't do it if they don't get the desired reaction. And even if they do just laugh at them, make sure your dd is never, ever referred to as 'Big X' and enjoy how ridiculous these silly people are.

Agree with others - gush about how fab you think they are for copying you - say you are really flattered and say how nice it'll be for your DD to have a "mini-me" or something simmilar.

how odd it is though! No wondered you're narked... not really the done thing is it!

YANBU I think you should write them a patronising little note about how flattered you are they love your taste in names enough to copy you.

you'll be able to call the new baby 'ditto'

ooh yes, add that in, that's fab! ..."and we've already thought of a nickname - 'ditto'"

and then keep enquiring after little Ditto.

ooh, OP, you could have oodles of fun with this

I'd suggest you send an enthusiastic email.

"We're so thrilled that you decided to copy our DD's name. We can let you have some of our DD's old clothes too so they can be exactly the same."

That ought to do it.

Ditto. Heh!

Seriously though I would be so pissed off. That is one of the weirdest thing I've ever heard of. You'd think if you don't get along the last thing they'd want to do is name their daughter after yours!

And I thought a friend of mine giving her daughter the same name as her sister weird....

I had a friend who had this problem. Her mother was one of twins, who married brothers, and were pregnant at the same time. Both mothers wanted to use the same pair of names for their daughters (who would also have shared a surname, so 2 baby girls, born around the same time with the exact same name, bureaucratic nightmare) , but one put her foot down and told her sister there was no way she was having the name. Her sister reversed the order of the names.

I have a friend whose ex went on to name his child with new partner by same forenames and (obviously) surname as his child with his first wife.So basically he had 2 kidswith exactly the same name about 18m difference in age.

Ah... teenagers. You gotta use reverse psychology on them. Tell them, if you do talk to them, how pleased you are they are using DD's name and how flattered you are that they like your choice in name to give it to their little one and just lay on the butter.