Circumcision but no Circumcision Party

[thefruitwhisperer]

DP is turkish but he and his family were all born in the UK and dont practise Muslim traditions apart from Eid. My DP is the only one who does Ramadan and thats only every couple of years when he can be bothered. They celebrate xmas and easter etc.

Ive agreed to have our month old baby circumcised as thats what DP wants and I agree that there are plus points, but Im an atheist so I would like all religious connotations taken out of the situation. I think thats a fair compromise (esp as its going to be quite hard for me, Im really scared) and I would like it to be a quiet decision between DP and I. His family will know the baby has been cut, why do we need to celebrate it in a party that is more for the sake of getting presents than it is anything else. I dont want the gifts.

DP has admitted that the only reason his family circumcise their babies is for social reasons, everyone has it done, everyone has a party, everyone gets money as gifts. Ive compromised on the actual circumcism, and I really really dont want to have a party. I will feel as though Ive sold my babies foreskin. Add to that, if theres no religious reason for it, why are we even doing it - and the only answer I can see is cultural/social/peer pressure reasons. I just dont see any reason to celebrate this pointless operation (obviously only pointless in this instance, I can understand where it is necessary medically or in religious circumstances) other than to show off that we have conformed and then get some money. Children who have their appendixes out dont have parties. I mean, I could equally argue that we have the baby christened catholic, my family all are and dont go to church.

AIBU to have the operation but draw the line at a party? I think DPs family are all going to be disappointed with me. And his grandparents apparently disowned his uncle for the same thing.

the stoning of women predates islam, it was a practise known to that area of the world that has been followed by the people in power in islamic countries who are some of the most unislamic following "muslims".

They also altered parts of the Quran to fit their ideals. this alone is blasphamy.

Having had a circumcision at 20 for medical reasons I can certainly say it's more than "a little sore" afterwards, it's not massively painful, but it was certainly over a week of significant pain and discomfort.

I found no difference to cleanliness.

I found a decrease in sexual pleasure with activities which were possible both before and after. Having since looked at the other options available to solve the issue I would not have been circumcised.

(I'm not one of the 200 women...)

Norwegian it is still bullshit to abuse children in the name of religion and if you can look at that video and say that is not child abuse, there is something seriously wrong with you.

Could someone please explain why an omnipotent and benevolent god put the foreskin there in the first place if he really wants it to be sliced off at the earliest opportunity?

It can't be a test of the manliness of the baby, as they have no choice but to endure it.

Is it a test of the parents, a la commanding Abraham to kill Isaac? Do you prove your love of god and obedience to him by slicing off part of your child?

Is it just a badge of belonging, like a tribal tattoo, ie roll-necks go to hell so you need a crew neck to show you belong to our gang? If so why don't little girls have a bit sliced off to show they belong too?

I agree with you Blue....seems that some girls do have everything removed and they are pierced too.

Fred....great post, poor you.

how is something done under anesthetic child abuse? yes the child isnt asked but the parents are not doing it to hurt the child they do it because it follows something they believe in. Just because they believe in something you cant see dousnt make it any less real.

As said before if you feel so strongly why dont you campaign to have the law changed?

What makes you think anaesthetic is used on the baby in that clip? Have you actually watched it? It is blatantly clear the baby is in agony.

Anaesthetic is not routinely used and even when it is it is ineffective, it doesn't work well enough to prevent pain in that area.

children in the uk are given anesthetic when they are circumcised. I know this because where I live every child I have known that has been circumsised even back dating 20 years has been given it. Based on this information I do not see it as cruel. Most children are put to sleep when its done, it is slightly sore after wards as is any wound.

Mickylee

tell me that isn't painful. Rare infection of the penis, but a complication of the pastibell technique.

Graphic pictures, please do not open if likely to offend/upset/sicken

So now you are trying to say children are usually given general anaesthetic to be circumcised in the UK?

If you had ever seen a circumcision done NM, you would laugh at the idea that it would only result in a baby being 'slightly sore'.

Here's part of the conclusion of a study into post op pain from neonatal circumcision:

'In summary, this study confirmed that circumcision of the newborn causes severe and persistent pain. '

children in the uk are given anesthetic [sic]

yes, but not adequate anaesthetic & certainly not GA, as it poses too much risk, especially to newborns!

im commenting on the evidence i have seen and some experiences of people i know.

whether general or local anesthetic is used can be dependent upon the age of the child or person involved. It can also depend on the drug used.

Circumsised [sic] penis`s are cleaner than non

Actually they are not. And a circumcised penis is exposed to elements that a foreskin protects it from. And it can develop Keratinization of glans.

Which is when it becomes thicker & more leathery

The fact of the matter is, even if it is done under a GA, there will still be pain post op, when the patient wakes up. GA only stops the patient feeling pain during the OP.

So NorwegianMoon, if someone comes from a culture that has a tradition of tattoos, would you be happy for a parent to have their baby tattooed?

Dear god, I never get involved in these threads as they just upset me, to me my baby boys willy is perfect as it is, but different name for this....that link that poor poor boy...I have never researched the operation as have never had need but I had no idea something like that could happen!!

snorbs, how is that different to having a young childs ears pierced?

there is always some pain after an operation of any kind, pain killers are used afterwards.

let boy decide when he is older, parents , i assume, will make sure penis is kept clean until he is able to.
may be we should remove labia as need to make sure it is kept nice and fresh down there, only skin,,,,no

So if it was part of your DP culture to entertain female circumision, would you be taking time to consider this too?

female circumsion is not the same as male circumsion. it is designed as a way to be sure a female is a virgin- not the same.

It's multilation all the same.

Yes, but most operations are necessary! This one, isn't!

. . . or even mutilation.

The point is the baby can't decide for himself whether it wants a foreskin or not. It is forcibly cut from him and there's no going back.
Some men are seriously mentally affected by their lack of foreskin in adult life. Admittedly, most aren't but it's unfair, all the same, to take this action so lightly. Particulary here where neither parent appear to be strongly advocating it for religious reasons. There is no argument for circumcision on the banal basis of a throwing a party.

I just think if the case was for female circumcision/mutilation, the mother wouldn't think twice about refusing such action.